Words of wisdom over there.
Anyone who has really understood what those words mean can walk his path with a certain peace of mind and,whoever has come to terms with abusive parents and/or situation but was not able to hate,Is in the right path to understand himself first,and the others later.
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Been working on that all day. She had been into my everything. Have everything 2factor secured now and fingerprint is turned on on my phone now. Thanks for the advice.
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Hopefully she’s now your ex? As cries for help go, this kind of passive-aggressive nonsense is pretty hard to deal with; I wouldn’t be surprised if you found yourself a little bit less depressed without having her in your life. Trying to tell the world that you beat her and enjoy her suffering because you’re a twisted monster is not exactly endearing, no matter how she might have apologized… though I’m sure it was very convincing at the moment. 
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Nope no apologies ever. I just wish I could understand why I stay, but what do I know I’ve been in the glorious American psych system since I was 8 or so. My current therapist called it something or other I don’t remember what exactly. I just call myself stupid and go on with my day.
Have a good week everyone. 
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Been having bad dreams but trying to be positive and forget about it. Smoking helps but I smoke maybe 5 times a day I’m pretty high most of the time, which is good, but I have very vivid dreams it makes me feel like I’m going to have a heart attack or something. Everything is fine other than that.
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My guess = low self-esteem. Your doing yourself down man! you are just as good and valid as anyone else around you. Your probably quite smart in reality which is why you have the smarts to doubt yourself in the first place lol dumb people are rarely troubled by self doubt. Find positive people to be around and/or get a dog, cat etc anything that doesn’t judge you or put you down.
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That’s why I smoke. In a way; it just dumbs me down.
Does a dog wonder? Nope. Just lives the day. I sometimes wish I could be as free as my dog.
I know that’s the core of my relationship problems; or an apathy toward them. I convinced myself over the years I don’t deserve a relationship.
Sometimes you have to say no to yourself, and what you want in the moment.
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We destroy ourselves over things that usually don’t mean shit when you look back on them years later. In reality it’s a bloody miracle that any of us are here at all never mind being able to talk about personal stuff with total strangers thousands of miles away. Instead we take all that’s good for granted and never stop to think about what we’ve got and all the stuff we succeed at. When the enemy is yourself you can never win. Start your day over next day and say today i’m everything i need to be, and then some.
Yeh i’m stoned again… but tomorrow, i’ll hopefully be stoned again - success!
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The Word Depression to Me means Death No other way to express it!
I lost several people to Depression ,
some People you could see it and some never knew what hit me.
If I violated any TOS Please take down this link as I was trying to be some help …
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First off, 
apologies for not being as active on this particular thread over the past while.
It’s been a rough year, and the season change with surprises is always a hard one to deal with; more so now considering the never ending state of the pandemic. My grows suffered like so many in a bad head space, but thankfully with the love and support of those close to me and the community of OG I am blessed to be a part of has helped me trudge though the worst of it.
My “vacation” time starts end of this week, so I’m gonna celebrate with focusing on my indoor garden, making and eating foods I enjoy, spending time with my loved ones and fur/feather babies.
@KanehB , my heart to yours regarding your loss. You’re not alone, we are all made of stardust and you know you’re mom is still looking out for you no mater what. 
I’m annoyed at your partner’s lack of compassion but know it’s hard for those that are not highly sensitive to deal with the sheer intensity of emotions the human soul can dish out. I mean no offense as I’m certain they are wonderful otherwise!
@G-paS , I hope things have settled down for you and that you 
vacation helped your mind and soul.
@grief , I feel this so much.
@Beza , great message friend; and your follow-up: WOW; that level shit forges strong people.
@Ttystikk , I feel the time too; I found out in my mid 30’s my anxiety and bi-polar issues and that my coping mechanism were starting to falter. I’m very happy to read you’ve got system in place that are working again.
@KanehB … just caught up with the online game dept… No words, only sadness and hoping you’re okay.
@ReikoX , my heart to you and yours for your loss. That sounds like an emotional ride; i’m grateful you have such fond memories of what sounds like an amazing person.
@other_barry , I’m happy to read your therapy is working for you. Keep at your path and know we’re here for you and you’ll find your way there. It’s always good to ask for help when you need it; I wish i learned this before as I only started applying it super late in life.
@joecool , whoa. That’s messed-up; hope you got the mysteries solved soon.
@Dale , my dreams have been intense this last month as well. I think it’s the cumulative stress of the human condition fucking with my connection to it. I’ve been over doing it in the day to be so tired I pass right out and DON’T dream… but when I do, it’s horrible.
I burned out all my likes catching up.
ONE LOVE TO YOU ALL, BE STONG, BE SAFE, BE GOOD TO OTHERS, BUT MOST IMPORTANT BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES 
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That’s very nice to respond to each person. And yea Logic is really good at rapping a lot of people listen to him and I’m sure a lot of the younger generation it means a lot to them.
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The vacation was much needed and was wonderful. 
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Nothing like sand and surf to decarboxylate a growers soul. 
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When we are at our lowest if we just hang on for a while it will pass. Many like myself have spent a lifetime contemplating suicide because of the constant pain. Wanting that pain to end!
Everyone that loves has pain! We cry for each other constantly. The more we love the more pain we endure because we are crying all the time inside for others we love.
I was such a freak of nature growing up! I thought (until I was around maybe age 12 or 13) that everyone loved everyone like I did. Boy what a surprise!
I knew people made mistakes and did bad things but I thought everyone was like me and loved everyone.
I can’t understand how people can’t and don’t love everyone?!?!?
What about the evil bad guys…well…they were babies once and I love all babies!
So us that love much are kings of pain.
Our dogs came running out barking from the bedroom the other day and woke up my wife and she asked me what they were barking at.
Just me bawling like a baby over a Shriner’s commercial for the umpteenth time. Anybody want to know why the world needs a clean slate (come to an end) just watch a Shriner’s commercial (or my previous posts).
The more one love’s the greater the pain and the less they be loved!
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I have been a lot better. I quit listening to the news. Love you kids teach your kids to love. The power of children
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Dude… Thanks for that. I’m 36 and same creek
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I make it a point not to watch the cable tv news but it’s hard every place has it on the tv, every place in public that has a tv is either fox news or cnn. Go to get your tires done, there’s cnn. Go to the doctor’s office in the waiting room, cnn. It makes me want to grab the tv like the indian in one flew over the coocoos nest and throw it out the closed window and jump through the broken glass and go screaming into the hills. The thing about it that depresses and stresses me the most is when the air a patent falsehood about something I have seen with my own eyes. The news is a business designed to take the same advantage of the dopamine chase that all addictive products are designed to stimulate. It’s a product I choose not to ingest, but it’s almost forced on me when I go somewhere. Checking into a hotel, in the lobby, oh hey wolf blitzer awesome!!! It’s always worse during an election cycle or when there is a terror attack. I wish their viewership would dwindle and it wouldn’t be financially worth it for them to continue, but somehow there is always an audience for 24 hour a day news. Even the concept I reject.
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It gets better. Let’s all turn our back to the moon. Step forward into the sun light. The warmth, Hummm! I feel it already. Smoke some dank shit. Roll that smoke. Inhale though your nose. Fk it smoke a round or two. I’m trying to say is fuck it. Lol we cannot change the world so we might as well take care of ourselves. One Love . September is when it starts with me. January 1 is a new change , flip that leaf. The turn of the switch. I’m at the bottom of that U-turn i’m coming up. Peace Who else is there better to take care of yourself but yourself. I’m not letting this world get me down anymore. I can’t stand a hater, let them hate. We are a special kind of people. Don’t ever forget that.
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