Any one depressed?

Sorry to hear this man, I understand where you are coming from. When I had my accident that fucked my neck up, I could not ride my Motor Cycle any longer, I was a PC gamer as well, all the Battlefield games up to 3. I was always in the top 5 on any server, but now the shakes and uncontrollable finger twitches just make my player do stupid shit lol.

I am a very hand eye coordinated person. I cant shoot my shotgun any more either, I used to be a AA class CPSA shooter. My airbrushing ability is slowly going down the tubes, and most of my food ends up in my lap trying to get it in my mouth lol.

There is nothing worth watching on TV apart from Oak Island. Mostly I watch Utube informational stuff now.

My grow got abandoned last May due to a year of fighting mites and not winning and that was really depressing me.

I had to go on disability, how the gov thinks you can survive on that is a joke.

I also watch a lot of this guy on Youtube, Eckhart Tolle his stuff is easy to understand and apply. It works well for me along with all the other stuff I am doing to take control back of my life.

. https://www.youtube.com/c/EckhartTolle .

It feels like I am losing my life

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That’s rough man, I do thank the stars at least when I’m at my top, I’m still normal. So at least some of the time I can live a normal life still.

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Thats where I am at currently. Focusing on things I can do, and not on what I cant anymore. It helps to appreciate what I can do, and my main focus is getting back to being healthy and hopefully correcting my physical problems that are screwing me up enjoying life as I used to. Its a not an easy battle and there are days I don’t want to get out of bed from the pain but every small success is a bonus, and I am learning more about my inner strength in dealing with my difficulties.

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@GanjaMa try coconut oil.

I have a marijuana success story here.

My wife who I have been with off and on (mostly on) for 30 years (been married 9) never smoked pot with me. She smoked some in high school but maybe because she married a cop right out of high school her drug of choice is pills. Also, she was a cowgirl that used to work cattle with her dad and grandpa (she would bring home a mess of calf fries (mountain oysters, calf/steer balls) and bread and deep fry and oh man dipped in ranch dressing was good stuff maynard (couldn’t watch her clean em though). Don’t knock em until you tried em…lol.

She also suffers from depression, chronic pain, migraines, fatigue, etc. She takes many meds some of which include Norco (heavy opioid) , Zanex, Trazadone, Ambien, and others.

Her pain meds doctor gives her a pee test every time she goes to the office (every three months) so I talked her into trying some of my special coconut oil seeing as marijuana only stays in your system like a month if you are a heavy user and she had three months between visits (I don’t think he even tests for anything except opioids but oh well she believed maybe he did and didn’t want to take the chance).

So I gave her some of my oil (about 1/4 teaspoon) and she got all dizzy at first but later did all right. I make my oil extra strong because my body doesn’t seem to like a bunch of oil (of any kind).

Anyway, after two months this knot in her stomach as she describes it (ptsd/anxiety) would go away with the oil and was the first time it had happened in her life except when abusing pain pills (she took more pills than she should) and she had the knot ever since she can remember.

Then she noticed blister packs of Emitrex (for migraines) were piling up (which had never happened before). Usually she may barely make it until refill but now with oil she has no migraines!

She also noticed she slept all night (very rare…obsessive thinking with racing thoughts kept her awake before oil).

Then she noticed the pain was gone also.

An aside: 20 years ago I had a bad back surgery and was in chronic pain bad and couldn’t mow my lawn with a handful of Percocet or Loritab but a half teaspoon of my butter I could mow my lawn with a smile on my face. I got healed out in the desert in California years ago but that is another story.

So then she gets closer to her appointment with her pain doctor (a month and a half away) and she made it two weeks and next thing I know she is on the phone canceling her pain meds appointment (and doctor) because she felt so bad without the oil. I am so proud of her. Still can hardly believe it.

I have been doling out her heavy meds for years but more times then I can count she found them and got into them and almost called an ambulance twice. Zanex, Ambien, and Opioids each enhance each other so can be dangerous stuff.

Something else that can be dangerous is my kind of oil. When it is very strong it can rapidly reduce your blood pressure making you pass out when you stand up. Also, there is the dizzy threshold so this kind of oil is for sedentary use only (no driving!).

I make a Sativa dom for the day and an Indica Hybrid for sleepy time. I use twice a day (morning and night). Sometimes even as a heavy user I do too much. Because it involves the digestive process before it hits (eat a Pop Fart) then be careful because if you have no food in your stomach and take a bunch of oil and go out for lunch it could hit you very hard hours later at a very inconvenient time so be careful.

My recipe is simple: For super butter use one ounce of primo bud per half stick of butter (use only high grade butter). For oil I use one ounce of bud (or a little more) per 1 cup of coconut oil.

I bake (decarboxylation) at 220 on wax paper on cookie sheet for 30-40 minutes. I break it down to mainly pencil eraser size (not powder ground). Buy an oven thermometer because they are cheap and this part can ruin your bud if you burn it.

With butter add much water and I use a painters strainer net for spraying (found at most hardware stores and paint shops) because they last forever and are cheap. Put bud in net and tie with twist tie and simmer
seven hours (many would say this is way too long but this will knock you right down and have to go to bed on about 1/2 a teaspoon).

Many would say ooohh don’t strain the green but I take my thick rubber gloves and squeeze every drop out (same with oil but I use a metal coffee filter and press out with large spoon).

The oil I simmer 7 hours and usually with an ounce I will add 1/2 a cup of water. When I use bud trim (two ounces) I add much more water. After seven hours I pour oil mixture into the strainer and press out as much as possible into a large plastic cup. Leave overnight for water and oil to separate and take butter knife down each side and drain water from under oil wedge and tap cup on counter to expel oil cake.

I simmer the oil in a vintage cheap double boiler (look at thrift stores) and take the top pan out and use the tall slender bottom pot to hold the mason jar (tried a slow cooker method but jar bounces around too much).

DO NOT ADD COLD WATER to your pot as it simmers off throughout the day you will break the jar. Pull jar out and take loose lid (not tightened down) off and stir mixture and while water faucet gets hot and put hot water in the pot and then put jar back in. Keep an eye on this as you don’t want the water to run out and only a med-low simmer. The water will simmer but the oil won’t. You don’t want to boil the oil you will ruin it.

There are many ways to make oil/butter and many tutorials out there this is just how I do it as seems to kick my ass and I’m a serious heavy user that’s been smoking almost 50 years (next year).

Hope this helps!

Peace and love to you all!

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Wow, thank you for the message @Beza . I’ll give the coconut oil a try, I happen to have a Magical Butter Machine that I can use to make the oil and butter pretty easily. And would the healing in California involve the Sonoran toad by chance? lol

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No, actually fasting for 40 days just off of Joshua Tree National Park by a canal off the California river project that I had a long wire and plastic pitcher to fetch water.

I used to grow mushrooms in 1980 (Straferrious Cubinsis…spelling) got the strain from a lab growing on ergot in a slant tube in southern Texas. Sterilized rye grain in mason jars to inoculate with mycilleum culture (spelling).

I preferred really clean LSD to mushrooms and enjoyed Peyote the most. Mushrooms were too up and down for me. I’d be tired one moment taking a nap beside the trail and next thing I’m practically running up the mountain. All good stuff if you aren’t dealing with a bunch of stuff.

Can’t hide from yourself on Hallucinogens and some people when they get a good look at themselves (sometimes for the first time) and don’t like what they see can make problem.

THC is actually a hallucinogen (even though federal say narcotic…lol) and releases much of the same substance that you already have in your system. Dopamine which is usually only released during dreaming.

Hallucinogens can transport one leaps and bounds in spiritual development but there comes a time when they will actually hold you back from advancing further. You will know when that time comes.

Love you,
Bez

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Right I’m actually looking for a dog right now as well. Best company ever. All my old supposed friends true colors starting showing. Have only 1 good friend now and he’s not in the same state but we still stay In touch. Things happen for a reason I believe. Well if you or anyone on here needs some1 to talk to im here for everyone. Negative people will not change me I will still be a good person no matter what!!!

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My dogs are wonderful critters I love them very much I love me cat too.

The stuff here about relationships seems right on. I don’t have experience with good ones but makes sense the stuff about two people needing to try or else it fails.

I’ve not used psych drugs or really any drug besides weed. I drank alcohol and robotussin when I was young but have stayed away from those for many years.

For people who were or are on ssri meds psychs are probably not a good idea. If receptors are worn out from these meds the user doesn’t feel the effect of lsd at a low dose, so they take higher and higher dose until they do feel something but by then they can become overwhelmed.

Maybe some day but I don’t have a safe place or anyone to watch me.

My state went weed legal I need to start growing again I just have a lot of fear from previous times and I’m sure it will be cathartic to grow legally I need to just buy the equipment I still need.

As far as disability goes sometimes they will let you if your job pays little enough, stay on disability but have a part time job. Might be a way to go if you need more money and can handle the work.

I’ve seen the power of lsd and mdma change people for the better and give them the strength to get off opioids and even though I have never ingested them, I’m not against it for others. I think all drugs should be legal and people shouldn’t go to jail according to the tastes of our rulers.

I’ve had maybe not a lot but a bit of negative experience with the police after a lifetime of my life in a weed illegal state for I mean I’m almost 40 and everyone here has been keeping it hood their whole lives. My entire high school class everyone has either a weed charge or dui it seems like. I look people up on the court website I guess it’s what you would call a guilty pleasure.

Oh look so and so from tenth grade did drunk in public two years ago hahahaha. With the right drugs, anything is possible. I’m trying to find the gratitude to reframe my life in a more positive light. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t.

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This right here struck a chord with myself. Health issues has basically reduced my hobbies to gardening exclusively. All I can say in your situation is good luck with your health and hope you take care of yourself. Screw any and all crap people say. Just keep doing you. Hope things get better for ya.

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A forty day fast is long, how much weight do you lose🤔

I fast 6 days is my limit before my BP drops through the floor and every time I stand up or bend over I nearly faint.

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Hi Shadey,

I was a walking skeleton (not sure of before and after weight). I was several miles from a roadway when I walked out and took me half a day to go a few miles and I knew not to sit down (may not be able to get back up…very weak). I had a large staff to lean on.

I hear you on the dizziness due to drop in blood pressure. I crossed over the Sierra Nevada in early spring and after a few months in wilderness with nothing but beans left to eat (and lost appetite for them) I was a walking skeleton and every time I stood up I got very dizzy. Dangerous low bp!

When I went forty days (and nights) the first three weeks were the hardest. All I could think about was food. I have fasted often for shorter periods and the first three days have always been the hardest (even some dry heaves sometimes). I didn’t burn any calories I didn’t have to. I sat in one place for forty days! Barely ever stood up except to fetch water or relieve myself (which wasn’t often). Would not want to do again!

I took a can of spam for before I walked out (I hate spam so knew I wouldn’t be tempted to eat it). I got half a can down and later it was full of ants so left it. I had three water bottles and pack rats had chewed through two of them while I slept.

I lived down in between some giant boulders with some overhang for rain protection. I was about a city block from the water canal and near the end was very precarious to make it to the canal and to hang on to the wire (wrapped it around my wrist almost lost it) as water current in canal is fierce with tall fence around it.

I had only one water bottle left on last day and had to sleep with it by my face for a week so I would wake up when the rats would try and get to the water by chewing through. By the time I made it to the road I was almost out of water and knew I couldn’t last long without it so I used an emergency phone by the highway.

Some grouchy guy answered and acted like there was nothing he could do. I told him I was out of water and very weak and he yelled almost joking, “do you want me to send an ambulance”? I said yes!

They took me to the hospital and I told someone I had been fasting forty days and forty nights and could I have some food please.

A doctor came in and asked me if I was crazy and had a death wish? I asked him if he was religious or spiritual and he answered not even a little.

I didn’t care so I told him I went to fast to cleanse my body, mind, and soul so the greater part of the Holy Spirit could reside in me. I am far from your run of the mill Christian though…(most are fake anyway…sad).

On the final day more people with no religion and from other religions will be greater in number than Christians…sad! Love is all you need to go!

Fasting is a wonderful way to cleanse the body. If you can go past a week you begin to see impurities in your system actually form little small red spots on your skin in various places that will disappear in a few days. Since you fast often you may already notice that yourself.

Watch that blood pressure though as dangerous low blood pressure nothing you want to mess around with. Especially a fainting fall from low BP (done it a few times already) could actually really harm you so please be careful with this.

Much love and peace!

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I had to ask, the Sonoran desert toad has great healing power as well. Its native to some parts of Mexico, Arizona and California. And very interesting story thanks for sharing. Always been curious about fasting I have heard its helped a lot of people

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I am glad you made it through, hopefully you are fully recovered now.

How did you get on with your first meal, I bet you only got 2 or 3 mouthfuls in you before you felt stuffed.

When I was 23 I contracted strep throat and glandular fever at the same time.

I walked a mile and a half to the doctors, I was his last appointment for the day. I was 10 minutes late so apologized and said I walked to see him and sorry I was late.

He said, you look seriously ill, lie down on the bench, and he did a few tests then said, you got a fever of 104 I can’t believe you walked here, you should be in bed.

I will take you home in my car as I am finished for the day and I will visit you at home in a couple of days to check your ok.

I went home and pased out to bed, I dont remember much about the next month but my mum said, he did visit and said, my throat had closed up so much he thought I might need to go to hospital for a trachiotomy, they didn’t do intubation back then.

Well I didn’t go, but it was close, I was in bed for 3 and a half months, no food, just about 350mil a day of water was all I could get in me, my throat was so painful, and full off horrible goo, which I had to hack up for 10 minutes before I could drink.

I lost about 60lbs and a couple of months of my life, which I luckily cant remember lol.

I would dream of going down the chip shop and ordering tons of fish and chips and just stuff my face lol.

When I did manage to eat it was soup for a week, then I sent my brother to the chip shop, but I only managed about 4 mouthfuls of chips and I was stuffed and threw it all up 20 minutes later to my disappointment lol.

I intermittent fast every day, only eating in a 2 hour slot and a 6 day fast every month. When I was working up to the 6 days I started adding another day of fasting every week for 6 weeks straight. That left me very weak and my BP on the low side but after the first 2 weeks I came off my BP meds as that was making it worse lol. Once I was off them and settled into the routine of 2 hours a day and 6 days a month, things got better but I don’t want to push it too much further because of the low BP.

The endorphins from fasting definitely prevent depression, day 5 and 6 the only thing I am focused on is eating lol, its certainly keeps you in the present and becomes like a mindfulness meditation.

Yes I get the little red spots on my legs mostly, also get a lot of itching around day 5 from my body going into full apothogee, eating up all my damaged skin cells for energy, which gets rid of the stretch marks and losening skin.

Love and compassion is all we need, religion I feel gets in the way of that.

I took my wife into the city today to see a Periodentist, Its minus 16 minus 23 with the wind chill.

When we got back to the car park, there was a guy huddled in the corner with not much of a coat and no gloves. So I gave him a couple of blankets we had in the trunk, my gloves and the $20 l had in my wallet.

I didn’t need to know what he believed in just that he needed some help today when it was ass freezing cold.

When you can see a person as a soul, no different from anyone else, without any labels of preconseption, through compassion, thats all you need to have.

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Is that similar to the Buffa toad? We had one in the courtyard in Cozumel, had to be careful when dogs visited, they are toxic to dogs. And IIRC, licking them produces psychedellic effects as well…

We never licked ours of course… He was just a big eater, but a cool one at that :smiley:

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Do you mean Bufo? If so yea its also known as Bufo Alvarius. From what I know you very carefully squeeze their neck glands to extract the venom, some put it on glass or a mirror allowing it to dry and then smoke it. It only lasts around 15 minutes. You can also make it synthetically to not harm the toads but some claim it isn’t the same as the real toad.
Edit: Mike Tyson has a podcast on youtube with a guy named Dr. Sandoval, he raises the toads and helps heal people of all sorts of things… Mike even tries it mid podcast, comes back and is glowing and extremely happy. Some interesting stuff.

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yup, I was spelling phonetically, the venom comes out of two larger sacks just behind their eyes kinda. as you put pressure on them, a milky white / yellow liquid oozes out.

I was told you will hallucinate REALLY hard if you just lick the toad after squeezing them by the locals…

I guess the drying / smoking it changes the duration of the effects, iirc they said it would last all night if I licked a toad.

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I had no idea you could lick the toad like that lol! Learn something new everyday… That’s really cool you we’re around the toad’s native area.
I watched some videos of the trip and it looks very intense… They start rolling around and hallucinating. Some explained it as dying. I’ve heard it called the God Molecule… Couldn’t imagine tripping all night on bufo

Hamilton’s Pharmecopea has two episodes about it and the second one is worth watching. Hamilton advocates for the synthetic version says it is exactly the same and there is zero reason to harm these poor toads. Hippies argue with him that it’s not the same and he scientifically shows them how it is exactly the same in every detail and they still argue for harming the toad. Such hypocrites. It shows what happens to the toads in the show if you like animals parental discretion is advised. It looks sadistic to me I would never do that to an animal.

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Agree 110%… Its a self preservation bit for the toad. Imagine being squeezed so your zits pop. I imagine its very similar. Stressful as well (like making a puffer fish puff up “for the fun of it”… It’s not fun for them!

Hamilton’s Pharmecopea was a great series…

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But could I lick a rabbit? Is that inline with your moral sensibilities? I mean, they lick themselves…

I’m just being an ass of course

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