Just looking for someone that cares as much as I do.
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I’m sorry you went through all of that man. No one should have to experience what you just described.
I wish I could be the person who could take this over, but tbh, depression has been kicking my ass recently. I’ll chip in as I can, I’m just not often in the best mindset to help someone see the positive side of things. I’m really sorry I can’t offer more.
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Bro I get it. I really couldn’t ask for more.
I just want to know that when I leave this threadvof all the ones that I’ve made is okay.
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Taking a break from growing? OG?
I’m really over the past shit. Maybe not. I dumped a bunch of drugs on it in my teens.
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I’m trying to break from OG my way. I love you guys but you can’t see what’s going on.
Im in No way saying anything about others personal perception
This was a quiet OG place back in the day.
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I promise it’s nothing personal but I’m still a red state. I don’t live in my own place.
I don’t want to cause ruckus. It’s really not like that. I have no proof. But we are too wide open on the web for the whole world to see. With the whole influx of our “loving generosity” brings unwanted attention at some point.
I really owe OG a lot. But as a red guy I can’t see myself participating until I’m green.
I’ll be back. But not any time soon.
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Well, thank you for all you have helped me with, even when it was just saying ‘Hi’ on my grow log. Your presence here will be missed. If you get to a point where you just want to chat, but not share, please feel free to pop in there.
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Never been so depressed in my life. I was blessed to be in a great position and have all that I want or need. I’m comfortable. Wife, Son, house with pool in country. Family. Health. It’s all good. I have the things I hoped that I would by 50. The thing is that I look out at this dystopia and it saddens me beyond belief. I go extended periods without the will to get out of bed. The things I once enjoyed don’t excite me any more. I don’t even drink or smoke weed very much anymore. I almost feel like I’d be better off if I didn’t have family to worry about because of the worry. If it was just me everything went “mad max” i could handle it. I am an outdoorsman, plenty of guns and ammo, skills, tools, smarts, gold/silver, etc… but it’s different when you have to take care of those that you care about. I don’t even know what lessons to teach my son because he it’s a whole new world. I try to walk the line between getting him prepared but I don’t want to really explain in detail how hard I think it’s going to be for him and make him grow up too fast and steal his childhood. I’m so angry with at the world right now and so disappointed in my country. I’m afraid of the govt and wouldn’t dream of saying these things to a doctor because I don’t trust them either anymore. Idk. Rambling. I almost wish I never took that red pill and could just be dumb and happy.
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Man Oh Man where the fuck (I don’t normally cuss) have you been?
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I relate to this, very much. I was just trying to explain this to someone yesterday. You are not alone in those feelings.
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I would dream up places that I was going to as a child only to be let down every fucking time.
(I don’t cuss in threads but this is mine and yours, let it go. I’m not here till I’m not. YOU WILL KNOW.
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@Jzyjack … man I will take you with me where ever I go bro. If of corse you want that kind of companionship. NH
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You will be missed, but that’s the good part, you can come back whenever and have a great reception back.
Security is #1 but don’t neglect your sanity. Come back whenever, in whatever capacity, you want.
I don’t know about you guys, but 90% of my depression is over-analyzing from ADHD. Easiest way to help it is to stay busy (especially socially). You don’t have to run away from the feelings, but it’s good to keep some distance. And talking to other helps me gauge the situation.
@Jzyjack When talking to kids, I’m always as honest as they’re age allows. You don’t have to rile a bunch of paranoia about there definitely going to be whatever, say government collapse. Just bluntly explain the skills are very useful if something happens. Anything really. There’s so much that could happen basic survival skills are so widely applicable…Kids should be kids, but kids are preparing to be adults at all times.
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Been feeling this way a lot lately. Don’t have friends to hang out with or many people to talk to. I alienate myself from my family for personal reasons and my grow literally keeps me sane and thinking straight.
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You can’t stop seeing once your eyes are open. It can be very difficult. I feel like I know what road this country is on, and most people don’t even know we are driving.
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Man if you ever need someone to talk to im a phonecall away.
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OMGods @LilJonB my heart to yours for the trials you have been put through, and thankfully made it through! Getting all that info over a period of time is one thing but all at once is something entirely different.
I’m lucky that i’m “only” bi-polar 2 (not 1) and that my swings can be hours apart… not days, weeks or years like some i know that wrestle with their darkness on a daily basis. For this reason I have already placed this thread on my watch list and check when it when someone posts.
Every place changes, but when it does it’s as important that the legacy folks work with the new comers and vice versa. I’m “new” but due to my moral code (hope) that i’m not one of the many that have made things… awkward. They’ll thin themselves out soon enough as time passes and their needs aren’t met. We’ve lost some good folks, but they are still accessible if you know where to look… but then there are some “interesting” people that jumped ship and I’m not interested in finding out where they made landfall…
“red guy I can’t see myself participating until I’m green.” ← this is both valid and you being RESPONSIBLE. I know a few other users that went into the lurking mode because of drama and there’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, it can be HEALTHY.
@ChemicalDependant : “90% of my depression is over-analyzing from ADHD” ← 110%. I have OCD too and I joke “it’s strong enough to keep my ADHD in check until it’s not.” This is why i’m a chimney. Cannabis has helped me focus since I got outa high school, and smoking during college got me on the honour roll and I graduated on the deans list and was already working in my field 2 months Prior to graduating… all because I’d take a 1 hit and then get to it and no one knew so no one made it a problem…
BIG LOVE TO ALL THAT PARTICIPATE ON THIS THREAD!.
@LilJonB , I’ll never tell you what to do unless it’s to stop you from self harm or harming others. Take care of yourself friend, and seriously consider maybe just lurking or switching to only personal messages with folks to know and trust + your own grow journal(s). I’ve cut and run many times when I’ve had enough… but there was always a personal blow-back of regret with aspects of the event.
I was gonna do this for Facebook a few months ago; but instead of deleting and running I just cut back to checking my messages once a day, and my alerts 1-2 times a week. While I don’t make posts anymore I’m still connected with those that I’m close too without the fuckery of the Facebook algorithim.
Again, just a thought as it’s working for this shattered brain 
As my closure I’m gonna take a lesson from Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra and end with a metaphor:
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Maybr think about the discord channel. We got cookies. And its a little more private. @LilJonB
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Its awsome to see someone ask becouse that’s whats needed sometimes.
Thanks for thinking of others 
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