Once upon a time there was a man called Faustus.
He was a doctor of divinity and lived a very comfortable but modest life. He was quiet and very well respected in the community. Although he had been a pious man his entire life, as he reached middle age he began to feel as though he may be missing what it is to be truly alive.
He began to notice all the people around him that were" living it up" and seemed quite happy. He began questioning his faith.
So Faustus decided to use his knowledge of religion to his own benefit. He would call up Mephistopheles, a demon from hell.
The demon arrived in a form so horrifying that Faustus demanded that he change into a peaceful monk so that they could talk. Mephistopheles disclosed that he could only follow the orders of his master Lucifer but a bargain could be made with the dark lord that would give Faustus all that he desired.
And so the deal was made.
Then Faustus asked, " who was that woman in the vision that you showed me?" The demon answered that she was The Queen of Hell. The lady known as Hellen of Troy. And so began the new life of Faustus. A life of drunken debauchery that the world has never seen again.
Wine and women.
Faustus spent most of his contracted time in this manner while also asking many questions. He thought he could find a technicality to nullify his " devil’s bargain." As his time got short he became agitated. Mephistopheles noticed this and saw an opportunity for gain. So the Wiley demon orchestrated a chance meeting between Faustus and a certain female.
She was a beauty but the true target of Mephistopheles was her innocent daughter. A girl called Anne Marie .One day Faustus saw her and was instantly in love. She was seduced by his wealth and worldliness.
He became obsessed with her and told the demon that he must have her.
So the demon devised a plan. The girl would give her mother a drug to make her sleep so that she could meet with Faustus.
They made love like animals.
Sadly, all gifts from demons come with a price. The mother had been killed by the drug or perhaps by the demon himself.
Regardless of the true cause, the local authorities were looking for Faustus as a possible suspect. Sensing a possible trick from Mephistopheles, he fled.
When he arrived in a safe land he was questioned by the local governor who had obvious heard of Faustus and his legend. The ego of arrogant Faustus could not resist telling tales of his own greatness.
The governor did not believe the stories of Faustus and demanded proof of his hellish powers. So Faustus decided to summon the dead as proof of his claims. He would call up Alexander the Great.
The governor was greatly impressed and allowed Faustus to remain in the territory lest he become angry. Then Anne Marie arrived unexpectedly. Faustus was very happy.
Unfortunately, Anne Marie’s brother had followed her. He blamed Faustus for the death of his mother and challenged Faustus to a duel. Because he was protected by the powers of hell, Faustus was unbeatable. He had become like death itself.
After Faustus had killed Anne Marie’s brother she became distant and very sad. The " vibe" between them had changed. Mephistopheles noticed this and suggested a diversion for Faustus. How would he like to attend a witches sabbath. Faustus agreed and when he arrived was amazed.
After the black mass he returned home only to find the house empty and that during his one night of drinking and whoring more than a whole year had passed in the mortal world. He was told that Anne Marie was being held in the prison and was to be executed tomorrow. He rushed to her and discovered that she had become pregnant before he had left. When he did not return after an entire year she had become severely depressed and in a state of complete despair had drowned the baby. Faustus wept as he listened to her.
The next morning she was tied to a stake and the fires were lit.
As the heat increased and the agony became too great, she cried out to God.
" Forgive me ! "
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light and she was gone. Later Faustus was contemplating what had happened. If she could be saved then certainly he could be as well.
The room filled with smoke and Mephistopheles appeared holding that accursed contract. " You must honor your bargain !" His voice boomed.
Faustus agreed as he thought back on his terrible deeds. " By my own choices I am damned."
In a final act of desperation, Faustus asked Mephistopheles for one last diversion from his impending doom. " Show me the face that launched a thousand ships. Let me gaze upon fair Hellen." And so a mist formed and slowly took the shape of the legendary female.
Faustus was overcome by lust and moved towards her with the intent to rape her. However, her appearance changed and to the horror of Faustus a huge demon appeared beside her as the clock struck the hour of the end of his contracted time. He screamed and flailed in desperation as they dragged him to hell.
And that is how it happened. Now you ask, " How can I possibly know these things?" Well…
In memory of the true prince of darkness
Ozzy Osbourne
is just to irritate