So this piece of string is getting a little cottonmouth and trips into a bar. He gets himself up on the bar and calls the bartender over. What do you want? says the bartender. Give me a shot of whiskey, says the string. The bartender looks sideways at him and says with a smirk, “we don’t serve your kind around here.” Devastated, the string goes outside and tangles himself in a ball and goes back in for another try. The balled-up string hops up on the bar, and demands another whiskey. Quite pissed, the bartender comes over and says “Aren’t you that string I just kicked outta here?” NO, I’m a frayed knot, he says…
My 20 something says to me, “whats the difference between a chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?” I dunno…? Well, I’ve never had a garbonzo bean on my face…
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Haha @Cannasaurusrex that second really made me lol.
Two pot dealers are granted probation under the condition that they save as many people from smoking pot as possible within one week by utilizing only a pen and a piece of paper. After one week they are standing in front of the judge again and are asked for their results. The first stands up and says that he has saved 100 people from their habit by drawing a big circle and a small circle on the paper. “How could that affect someone that much that he quits smoking pot?” the judge asks. “Well, I told them the big circle is the size of their brain without drugs and the small one the size of the brain when they get high.” “OK,” the judge replies, “penalty remitted.” He turns to the second and asks him for his outcome. “Well, I did pretty much the same, but I have made 200 people quit drugs by drawing a small circle first and then a big circle.” “And how come that saved more people from their habit?” “I told them the small circle is their asshole BEFORE they are sent to prison!”
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So, a little boy looks at his Mom and says, can I lick the bowl Mom? Mom says, no you need to flush it first…
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Whats the difference between a strip joint and a magician act? A magician has a vast array of cunning stunts.
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LMFAO whats the difference between a woman and a fridge?
fridge dont fart when you pull your meat out
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Bada Bing! Well done!
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Oh man that’s a good one!
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Why can’t gypsies have babies? Their husbands have crystal balls! Ha! Ha!
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Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.
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only rebel kids will get this
knock knock
whos there
…
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Dont drive drunked…let your best friend drive…
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Do you like planting Flowers…
Yes I like planting Flowers…
Well plant tolips on my ass…
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The devil appears before a drunk sitting in a bar one day. The drunk looks at him and says," hey,whatup there devil". The devil turns huge and mean then angrily says," Human, why do you not fear me for I am Beelzebub the scourge of mankind!! The drunk looks up and says," man, I have been married to your sister for the last 20 years and there ain’t nothing you can do that’ll scare me!!"
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And the 2nd version…
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While driving through Pennsylvania recently, I passed through the town of Lakawana. There may be one in NYS as well. In any event, it occurs to me that that’s a description of being out of weed.
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As I said before Im allways high since 19 , so I allways drives a legal vehicle allowed by Law of bein drived smoked…
No goat damaged…only looking for what goat Ill drive today…
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Thats one baaaaaaaaad ride.
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Yeah yare right, @Cannasaurusrex …Better like this?:
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