MOTR grows with OniTenshu

They need some time to hydrate - roots 1st then leaves. Lets see how they are in 3 hrs and go from there

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Okay, so I’ll check on them at 10 and see if they need care. It won’t stress them out too hard if they have the night cycle interrupted? I need to get a green light to work with if I’m going to work at night.

Now I know it’s not a light color that triggers lights in or off cycles and it doesn’t keep either on for longer than the cycle even if green light is on 24/7.

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Nope, not in the least. While in veg you can do just about anything to them: interrupt their light cycle, move it around, bring them out for a few hrs then put them back in etc Its the flowering period that we have to be careful :wink:

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Okay cool. That’s a load off my shoulders there. Somehow relaxed ATM, so I’ll keep calm and get shit done while I’m in a good mood

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Speaking of keeping a good mood any chance you have tips for dealing with grief? I only know the unhealthy way of just distracting myself and working on it later once the reason I feel that way was long forgotten. I feel like with how things have been going lately I’ll need a healthy way of dealing with death around me. Both my friend and aunt died last week and every year at least 1 family member dies. It feels like I’m the last person who’s contacted too often also and that’s wearing on me. If not no worries. I’m just going through a lot and if I don’t talk too deeply I’m just dealing with most likely something related to what I just mentioned.

On a positive note I’m not in a bad spot rn. In case it sounded like I was depressed. I am sad yes, but with it becoming an annual event that someone dies I cry and grieve over them when I find out and move on to acceptance pretty quick after. Being distraught never helped me at all and only comforting those in pain and being comforted by the person who’s most important in my life really all that matters.

Now I’m going to do a good dab in my Aunt and Morgan’s honor. I can’t afford to be in a funk again and I don’t think they’d want me to be either.

I think one method I could use is to name a plant after them once I know I have a plant I can grow out and flower. They were both close to me and I wish I had more time with both. It’s sad they passed at the same time too I found out at the funeral. I guess I grieve different than most :sweat_smile:

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I checked on the seedlings and they are looking much better now. Back to life.

It seems they were just very thirsty. They’ll be very happy to have a new home in the morning.

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The only advice I can give with handling loss is recognize the primary and secondary feelings:

Anger
Distant → numb, withdrawn
Frustrated → annoyed
Bitter → indignant, violated
Humiliated → disrespected, ridiculed
Let down → betrayed, resentful

Sadness
Lonely → isolated, abandoned
Despair → grief, powerless
Guilt → ashamed, remorseful
Depressed → inferior, empty
Hurt → embarrassed, disappointed

You may feel many secondary emotions at once ie powerless, disappointed, remorseful and resentful. Traced to the primary emotion, we get Sad and Angry …let yourself be sad and angry - sit with it for awhile…don’t explain it or try to reason it, just sit with it and recognize it…emotions are the body’s alert system - simple as that

Once you recognize the emotion be mindful that you choose how to react to them like if I get stressed, I feel bad and sometimes recognize the anger…if I stay in denial, I will snap at people being annoyed by the smallest thing then feel sad (guilt) afterward especially if they weren’t the ones that caused the stress. When I realize it I focus my self talk to “THINK”:

T: Is it True?
H: Is it Helpful?
I: Is it important?
N: is it necessary?
K: is it kind?

Often I withdraw and focus on getting the energy out redirecting it to something positive like tearing a room apart to deep clean and rearrange it until I am exhausted…sometimes there is yelling, sometimes tears, sometimes beating the shit out of my carpet with a broom etc. In this way, I don’t unnecessarily take the stress and anger out on those around me and able to let go of that emotion. Once I am done, I can then redirect my energy to what I can do about it…the anger and sometimes sadness comes back when there is nothing I can do to resolve it - there is frequently another room to dismantle though sometimes its beneficial to get out of the space and into a more positive environment like taking a walk with nature letting thoughts wander and just be

Everyone has different self soothing techniques in hard times :wink:

That can be quite healing :hugging:

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Yeah I feel a lot of those at once😅
Even without the autopsy report I know why she died. She was using opiates medically for pain. She had easy access to a lot higher dosage than she was used to and it most likely shut off her CNS Thursday afternoon soon after texting me. I had convinced them to try cannabis oil instead to give her a safer alternative for pain relief. Too many what if’s of course, but I can’t blame myself for not forcing them to try it. I waited until they asked to try it and it was just sadly too late. It’s always sad when someone doesn’t wake up.

In the end all I can say is that I’m doing my best to grieve as it hits me and then if I’m not feeling overwhelmed I’ll try to process why I just cried. In Morgan’s case it’s because I lost a close friend. In my aunt’s case it was the fact that she left 3 kids(grown) and 6 grandchildren for a BS reason like she wanted to get high, so I’m not fully through with that grief just yet.

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We all do :wink:

Yeah, Try to stay away from the What If’s as well as, the Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s…they are not helpful in any way except giving ourselves ammunition

It is sad though I think you did all that you could…we all have our own road to travel

That’s all you can do :wink:

You’ve had a really emotionally exhausting day - try to get some rest - tomorrow is a new day :hugging:

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I’ll try to. I’ll try a big dab first, but I may be chasing my tail with Pineapple Express even if it’s a earthy phenotype :sweat_smile:

At least it eases my mind that they didn’t suffer in the end at least.

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Now all in new pots. Did you say how much water they need per pot?

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Nice! Give them 1/4c (4Tb) each…focus on the sides and slowly pour it in like 1/2Tb per side

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Okay finished watering and I topped off the topsoil up to the edge of the pot.

Great! Now lifta…they will spend the next 3-4 days settling into their pots with continued yellowing of their single finger leaves. Sometimes they green back up though most times they don’t and thats ok. We just don’t want to see yellowing on their true leaves.

For a reminder, here is mine at that age

5 days later

and today (1 wk after the above pic)

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The first to droop wasn’t able to recover the single fingers tips and they just curled up and in.
Otherwise they all look very healthy today


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It is hard to see them do this though perfectly normal being root bound at an early age to force the roots to fill the pot instead of elongating to reach the bottom…the other 2 may do the same thing seeing how yellowed they are

Sure do…growth should resume Sunday/Monday so we’ll give them a few days longer before light flip at the end of the week on the 16th instead of the beginning on the 10th

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Okay awesome! I was just about to ask what day the plan to flip was too LoL

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Only an overhead shot as I got home just in time to snap a few pictures total

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I didn’t think to ask, but are the seedlings staying in the 3" pots or are they getting a final pot later?

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I have today’s pics. I’ll be gone all day, so they can be left alone and I won’t bug them while they grow. The control seedling is doing the best. Though it wasn’t held back like the rest, so the others may come back and get even bigger if they get the chance.

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