They need some time to hydrate - roots 1st then leaves. Lets see how they are in 3 hrs and go from there
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Okay, so Iâll check on them at 10 and see if they need care. It wonât stress them out too hard if they have the night cycle interrupted? I need to get a green light to work with if Iâm going to work at night.
Now I know itâs not a light color that triggers lights in or off cycles and it doesnât keep either on for longer than the cycle even if green light is on 24/7.
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Nope, not in the least. While in veg you can do just about anything to them: interrupt their light cycle, move it around, bring them out for a few hrs then put them back in etc Its the flowering period that we have to be careful 
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Okay cool. Thatâs a load off my shoulders there. Somehow relaxed ATM, so Iâll keep calm and get shit done while Iâm in a good mood
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Speaking of keeping a good mood any chance you have tips for dealing with grief? I only know the unhealthy way of just distracting myself and working on it later once the reason I feel that way was long forgotten. I feel like with how things have been going lately Iâll need a healthy way of dealing with death around me. Both my friend and aunt died last week and every year at least 1 family member dies. It feels like Iâm the last person whoâs contacted too often also and thatâs wearing on me. If not no worries. Iâm just going through a lot and if I donât talk too deeply Iâm just dealing with most likely something related to what I just mentioned.
On a positive note Iâm not in a bad spot rn. In case it sounded like I was depressed. I am sad yes, but with it becoming an annual event that someone dies I cry and grieve over them when I find out and move on to acceptance pretty quick after. Being distraught never helped me at all and only comforting those in pain and being comforted by the person whoâs most important in my life really all that matters.
Now Iâm going to do a good dab in my Aunt and Morganâs honor. I canât afford to be in a funk again and I donât think theyâd want me to be either.
I think one method I could use is to name a plant after them once I know I have a plant I can grow out and flower. They were both close to me and I wish I had more time with both. Itâs sad they passed at the same time too I found out at the funeral. I guess I grieve different than most 
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I checked on the seedlings and they are looking much better now. Back to life.
It seems they were just very thirsty. Theyâll be very happy to have a new home in the morning.
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The only advice I can give with handling loss is recognize the primary and secondary feelings:
Anger
Distant -> numb, withdrawn
Frustrated -> annoyed
Bitter -> indignant, violated
Humiliated -> disrespected, ridiculed
Let down -> betrayed, resentful
Sadness
Lonely -> isolated, abandoned
Despair -> grief, powerless
Guilt -> ashamed, remorseful
Depressed -> inferior, empty
Hurt -> embarrassed, disappointed
You may feel many secondary emotions at once ie powerless, disappointed, remorseful and resentful. Traced to the primary emotion, we get Sad and Angry âŚlet yourself be sad and angry - sit with it for awhileâŚdonât explain it or try to reason it, just sit with it and recognize itâŚemotions are the bodyâs alert system - simple as that
Once you recognize the emotion be mindful that you choose how to react to them like if I get stressed, I feel bad and sometimes recognize the angerâŚif I stay in denial, I will snap at people being annoyed by the smallest thing then feel sad (guilt) afterward especially if they werenât the ones that caused the stress. When I realize it I focus my self talk to âTHINKâ:
T: Is it True?
H: Is it Helpful?
I: Is it important?
N: is it necessary?
K: is it kind?
Often I withdraw and focus on getting the energy out redirecting it to something positive like tearing a room apart to deep clean and rearrange it until I am exhaustedâŚsometimes there is yelling, sometimes tears, sometimes beating the shit out of my carpet with a broom etc. In this way, I donât unnecessarily take the stress and anger out on those around me and able to let go of that emotion. Once I am done, I can then redirect my energy to what I can do about itâŚthe anger and sometimes sadness comes back when there is nothing I can do to resolve it - there is frequently another room to dismantle though sometimes its beneficial to get out of the space and into a more positive environment like taking a walk with nature letting thoughts wander and just be
Everyone has different self soothing techniques in hard times
That can be quite healing 
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Yeah I feel a lot of those at onceđ
Even without the autopsy report I know why she died. She was using opiates medically for pain. She had easy access to a lot higher dosage than she was used to and it most likely shut off her CNS Thursday afternoon soon after texting me. I had convinced them to try cannabis oil instead to give her a safer alternative for pain relief. Too many what ifâs of course, but I canât blame myself for not forcing them to try it. I waited until they asked to try it and it was just sadly too late. Itâs always sad when someone doesnât wake up.
In the end all I can say is that Iâm doing my best to grieve as it hits me and then if Iâm not feeling overwhelmed Iâll try to process why I just cried. In Morganâs case itâs because I lost a close friend. In my auntâs case it was the fact that she left 3 kids(grown) and 6 grandchildren for a BS reason like she wanted to get high, so Iâm not fully through with that grief just yet.
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We all do
Yeah, Try to stay away from the What Ifâs as well as, the Shoulda, Coulda, WouldaâsâŚthey are not helpful in any way except giving ourselves ammunition
It is sad though I think you did all that you couldâŚwe all have our own road to travel
Thatâs all you can do
Youâve had a really emotionally exhausting day - try to get some rest - tomorrow is a new day
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Iâll try to. Iâll try a big dab first, but I may be chasing my tail with Pineapple Express even if itâs a earthy phenotype
At least it eases my mind that they didnât suffer in the end at least.
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Nice! Give them 1/4c (4Tb) eachâŚfocus on the sides and slowly pour it in like 1/2Tb per side
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Great! Now liftaâŚthey will spend the next 3-4 days settling into their pots with continued yellowing of their single finger leaves. Sometimes they green back up though most times they donât and thats ok. We just donât want to see yellowing on their true leaves.
For a reminder, here is mine at that age
5 days later
and today (1 wk after the above pic)
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The first to droop wasnât able to recover the single fingers tips and they just curled up and in.
Otherwise they all look very healthy today
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It is hard to see them do this though perfectly normal being root bound at an early age to force the roots to fill the pot instead of elongating to reach the bottomâŚthe other 2 may do the same thing seeing how yellowed they are
Sure doâŚgrowth should resume Sunday/Monday so weâll give them a few days longer before light flip at the end of the week on the 16th instead of the beginning on the 10th
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Okay awesome! I was just about to ask what day the plan to flip was too LoL
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I didnât think to ask, but are the seedlings staying in the 3" pots or are they getting a final pot later?
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