Trigger warning:
I actually do smell pretty good today for real.
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ya didnāt ask me how u smell. 
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Are you wearing your Panama hat? If you are wearing your Panama hat, that would imply you are also wearing cologneā¦ which can smell really good, but can also be overwhelming to some.
Especially if it is a fresh coat of cologne covering the past week or mores coatings of cologne. 
ā¦but I digress
I like to carry a good sized bag of weed at all times. Itās amazing how many people think they smell a skunk, or walk by and give me a funny look 
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So you have been in my elevator. Sometimes itās too much and I find myself offended.
Iām not wearing it but I am looking at it. Itās on display.
I actually smelled patchouli incense in the store. On purpose. I donāt know what came over me.
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heās got a fuckinā one a these:
jeeze, wife wants to get patchouli. tell tale, that smell.
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Patchouli is a scent I never really enjoyed, despite having spent my youth hanging with quite the crunchy crowds, but I absolutely love amber and wear it when I go out. I have found that the smell of amber seems to have an ability to draw the attention of patchouli wearers 
ā¦As well as eliciting analogous reactions to patchouli from the yuppie crowd
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Us yuppie folk wear ambergris. Itās a status symbol.
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Around '92,I was walking on a remote section of the beach and found what I thought was a cool agate-like brown/yellpw/black rocky clump. It was larger than two softballs, it was much too large to cover with both of my hands, and stunk like hell when it broke. Not realizing what it was, I chucked it into the sea, and didnāt think twice about it. Years later, I was reading about ambergris and that find came to my mind. I often wonder if someone else found those chunks I discardedā¦ they might be quite valuable!
I canāt imagine wearing that scent, it was pretty foul, but I wish I hadnāt discarded it.
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It keeps people away but seems to attract cats.
Think of all the skin care products you could have invented or rooms you could have illuminated with lamps. Lost opportunities.
No joke Iām going to do a collagen face mask tonight.
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Really Iām being forced to do it but Iām not going to fight too hard.
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