The toads he licks aren’t the hallucinogenic kind
The stoner below me has warts on his tongue
2 Likes
You can’t lick a toad without licking everyone that ever licked the toad.
The stoner below me also licking the toad doesn’t know that
But just found out
4 Likes
That the Toad wasn’t actually a toad but a big brown porcupine posing as a beaver and yes that bastard did try to bite
Also the Stoner below me has the manual dexterity of a truck driver and buys the finest papers in the world
5 Likes
Can’t balance worth a damn but can parallel park a 53 footer.
The papers are so fine I gotta save up between joints.
The stoner below me thinks catfish meow.
4 Likes
stoner below me is higher than i am…
cuz he don’t buy dispo, he grows his own. 
4 Likes
He really didn’t have much to say as he was a reader for a numbers station
The stoner below me replaced his teeth with green chicklets
https://priyom.org/number-stations
2 Likes
Enough about my teeth already, I’ve thrown up more beer than most have drank, and those cowboy killers and punches and bike wrecks I wear proudly on my smile because I’m happy to be here and know yall!
The stoner below me knows what i mean, because they know scabs and scars are badges of honor
4 Likes
The scabs and scars are really from a tricycle wreck when he was 12
The stoner below me intentionally pees on electric fences
2 Likes
How else am I supposed to cure my ED?!?
The stoner below me is leaving to give it a shot.
4 Likes
The it he gave the shot to was gnarly and oozing green puss
The stoner below me exposes his nether regions to zoo animals
It’s why I’m no longer allowed in my local zoo.
The stoner below poops in other people’s pants when they are passed out at parties.
1 Like
The poop he makes is fresh, visually laden with unchewed corn and reeking of yesterday’s clam chowder
The stoner below me juggles kittens to impress ppl in the park
Well you know what they say, “juggling kittens is better than kuggling jittens!”.
The stoner below me pretends to be a walrus when no one is looking.
The walrus and the carpenter discuss many things: Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax— Of cabbages—and kings— And why the sea is boiling hot— And whether pigs have wings.
Though nevertheless, the stoner below me sings in harmony, Koo Koo Ka Choo.
2 Likes
No place interests pigs enough. I have ninja socks. The stoner below me thinks absolute Zero is her bank account. -273
2 Likes
That’s overdraft, Kelvin.
The stoner below me uses fish for deodorant. To attract bears.
2 Likes
Bear is just another thing. The stoner below me has a Hedgehog.
1 Like