Good point about the K2 @BeardedMech . Vitamin D3 transports calcium into the blood, and K2 will drive it into the teeth and bones which is where you want it. I’ve been fine tuning my supplement regime for some autoimmune issues and it definately makes a big difference to how well I cope when the shit hits the fan.
I think you should definitely visit the doc when you can for a blood panel.
I’m thinking we really are related. Haha
The nature of both of your profile names and pictures would support this theory as well.
This is definitely some kind of thing I could see helping, as I control myself to some extent. I can’t control the external, but slowly I’m finding better ways of controlling the internal chatter. And as I exercise more I find me focusing on my breath more. Really look forward to looking a bit more into this. Thank you.
I go fishing, maybe smoke a nice cigar sitting at the water, but Fishing always does the trick for me I love it, that is my happy place
I have noticed with certain food comes certain emotions. That’s why I stopped all caffeine and sugar drinks. I still drink mineral water that’s sparkling but beyond that it’s water or 100% juice lol. Even the juice I’m not a fan of now. When I wake up in the AM I take tumeric ginger and ashwagandha after I have drank a large glass of water. I know there’s more I could add to help to this uphill path. Because what I’ve done and added so far has helped a ton, I really am not spending days on the sad side of things at least. It’s just a few hours a day now. So there hope yet.
What helped me out in a major way was microdosing magic mushrooms. When the world was in lock down and couldn’t live life without the freedom which I normally felt my head plunged into a unhappy, angry time. I would bark at my wife and kids because I wasn’t finding time to do little things that made me happy.
I knew of the medicinal use for psilocybin used in both large and small dosing. Me not being much for pills decided to try it this way that I felt would have some merit and natural. I had a few criteria that this usage couldn’t broach.
1.) I can’t feel high where it would impede on my ability to work due to being under the influence.
2.) Everyone around me can’t know or noticed that I’m doing this. From any visual que that would indicate I was under the influence such as dilated pupils to talking gibberish, NOTHING to stop me from providing my family the lifestyle I’ve already put infront of them.
After the 1st microdose of 0.2 gram. I instantly saw this as a non issue to both my stipulations.
What it did for me was brought a feeling of interest back into the day to day mundane world ive being living. It also added a bit more energy into my day. When it started to take affect on my system I would also feel an energy boost similar to a cup of coffee. For me the effect would last about 4-5 hrs and just ease away. The residual effect was a more positive outlook.
I ran 2 cycles of 6 weeks. I was doing day on day off but I’ve read that it can also be effective at 1 day on 2 days off.
Since I’ve done that 1 years ago i haven’t done it since as I have been able to implement other positive changes like a good diet and cut out all sugar which has been instrumental as well.
This is just 1 father’s experience that got my head out of a shitty mindset. It wasn’t my family’s fault for my sour attitude and it wasn’t right of me to direct that on them.
I strongly believe that by you posting what your feeling online here is the 1st strong move towards changing your outcome. You ARE doing what’s needed to change my friend
Eat cucumbers, drink a lot of water, take hot showers with the last bit ice cold. Exercise probably the biggest factor I’ve been able to identify. You don’t gotta cosplay as Lance Armstrong but even walking at a moderate pace is so much better for your body and brain and mind than sitting/laying all day. I struggle with this a ton and I think a lot of us do in the modern world.
“Go touch grass” is a phrase with some connotation, but getting outside is almost universally good for people. Different air/exposure, direct sunlight, looking into distance important for screen eyes, etc.
When I feel funky I watch one of the old Disney cartoons. I mean the really old ones from my childhood. Jungle Book, Sword in the Stone, Robin Hood ect…. Just remember that everything changes all the time. All things pass. Even the bad things. “Om mani padme hum”. 
In 2008, with an answered phone call, in the span of 10 minutes, every plan for the future we were hammering out, went away.
I got thrown into a 24/7 care giving situation, trying to keep my mother alive.
Some of the hardest ground, I walked on, between lying heath entities, horrible surgeries, many visits to and from hospitals, it was a walking horror show for 6-8 months.
After ma passed away, I began to realize how badly my mind was suffering, could not sleep, barley kept my grow going, could not read, and I love to read.
One day, in my PU truck, I see these Chinese knock off scooters, looked like an old Vespa. I asked the dude if I could ride around the parking lot, as I did not have motorcycle license.
It was silly 150 cc motor, a twist an go set up. 3 trips around the parking lot, and I felt like a dog with it’s head out the window of a car, going down the road. So I bought the damned thing!
Loaded it up, took it home, and nothing like ever before, riding around on that burned through my depression, when zipping down our back roads.
I then found a used branded scooter, and I’ve owned it ever sense! Hell, I rode it down to North Caroline a couple of times, as my soul gets crazy rejuvenated when I ride now.
Many times, I just giggle like a loon, as I get going somewhere! Still to this day!!
I will also say, diet change, D-3 has been amazing for us both, and being more active over sitting so much.
I think is called Wu Wei in Chinese, we need that time also, IMHO.
Best of luck in your search!!
So a few things that help me, is contact, with people. I find that in my own head I create narrative, that isn’t always the best, and with some input from others those things I’ve made in my head, start to change, sometimes for the better, not always but sometimes for the worst.
Really I have just been looking towards finding a ways, to be me without being me. It seems like metamorphosis is a ever evolving experience and I will not see what I would consider what I want. Instead I need to find what it is the world perhaps needs of me. Idk. It’s hard having you brain ping pong at points towards the unknown.
Yea it’s not easy existing sometimes, I also find myself in dumps from time to time, haven’t always made the best decisions in life. Try to remember that bad times don’t last, reach out to God, God will provide you with what you need to make it through.
@Enjoi802 You are on the right track my friend.
I found when life seems to belly up the best thing for me is helping others; even in a small way. You are forced to pull out your heart, open your mind and truly realize that there are people with more problems, they still smile, more worries who still laugh. There are those without a thing that still smile. We can get so caught up and involved in our own little world that we can’t see anything else. We forget to look up and realize the sun is shining -
Brothers and sisters - we’re just walking each other home. All we need is love and all we’ve got is time
I would pick up a hygrometer if one is feeling down and check the humidity ( feeling down outside of tragedy or poor health reasons) personally
I can’t retain focus or rise to action when humidity is high. I lose brain function on some level.
feeling down can also signal a need to rest. I find any form of depression breaks down to energy, not enough or it is spent circling the same useless thing, like the past.
I struggle with my own narrative a lot. I rarely have anything good to say to myself. I only usually feel positive about myself when someone says something positivenabout me. There was a short period at work were I was given a lot of responsibility, I was given nothing but good feedback from all my coworkers except our foreman. He pulled some strings and got the position removed completely. While I was in charge I was on top of the world. After I felt so low. After that I realized a lot of my self esteem and mood is reliant on what others think about me. So I’ve since been trying positive affirmations everyday. Reciting positive things about myself to myself. It helps but is harder to do than you might think
Theres a show on netflicks called “old enough” its translated from a japanese show, about little kids doing adult stuff.
You can tell its from early 2000’s which is nostalgic for me,
And damn i crack a smile every time it is a feel good kinda show.
Sorry your bummed out.
Cant have a rainbow without a cloud or two. It cant last forever, although it can feel like it does.
This was just the first thing that came to mind.
Also put energy into your pets, if you have any, they only want whats best for you 
One love
-Jayy
Ayuahasca with words instead of drugs = past life regression hypnosis. Can communicate directly with something people refer to as “the higher self”. Often this communication can bring about great positive change as your higher self is infinitely smart. You can ask a list of questions to your higher self. Also it involves some past lives usually so you get to see what that’s like. I’ve experienced death by cop through it and wow nothing more intense than that lol
A swim in the ocean or a lake always makes me feel better…
