If you’re into athletics at all, look into joining an adult rec soccer league or something like that.
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Yeah the therapist talk to has been rather helpful and with all that’s happening around me this past month, it’s good Ive been at it for a while with them now. It helps, and I’m a big outdoors person. Love being in the sun and with nature. Hiking, can’t jog but walking I like lol (si joint don’t like impact stuff), I started lifting like two months ago so thats come along some, I quite drinking caffeine and sugar drinks.
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Thanks for sharing that, I can relate with a lot of it, and I think that the biggest thing I can do at this point is try to give empathy in the directions I can, that may help me change my inner monologue where I keep self depreciating.
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Don’t freak-out. The battle goes to the calm mind. Be easy where you can.
Have hope. Tomorrow is another day.
Nights can be tough. Get through the night. Make it to the daylight.
Things seem easier in the light of a new day.
Focus elsewhere. Physical labor can be a friend. Garden. Help others. Keep moving.
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I struggle too, and I’ve got one thing to add to the list on here -
I found a psychologist and a psychiatrist on YouTube whose videos really resonate for me, give me practical advice and help me move forward. I made a playlist of videos of theirs which reliably shift my mood toward hopefulness and action. Then I made a personal “rule” which I’ve been getting better at following, which is when I feel so bad that I find myself unable to work and spiralling online or some such useless numbing behavior, then I make myself open the playlist and watch something from it.
Those two people’s channels are Dr. Scott Eilers, and HealthyGamerGG.
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I don’t know about everyone else but I greatly enjoy a nice fat joint of OHaze. Brightens by day and lifts me up nicely and lets me down light as a feather 🪶.
Hope you find something, just remember you’re not the only one, and the sun will shine tomorrow. Unless you live in Seattle!
Take care ,
HBH
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Onward. A 5 v 5 military Sim in VR. We have maps from COD and a version of dust. There is proximity voice so you can socially engineer enemies (teammates too lol).
For example. “I’m Volk! Don’t shoot!” I yell as a Marsoc, before peaking and shooting the Volk dead in their tracks. Or you can yell fun stuff like “This is a stick up!” Or role play as Swat. Endless possibilities.
If you like fps then onward is crack. Aiming with your hands is way better than aiming with a mouse or computer. Because the screen is attached to your head you can look one direction while shooting the other direction or even double pistols, one aimed at each opponent.
It’s phenomenal. I’ve played for years and it’s always 10/10.
To anyone who says it’s boring you probably haven’t tried the new game mode called: Assault
…where one side has infinite respawns and the other side (Marsoc, attackers) have 20 respawns. Onward in the past was boring cause after dieing you had to wait up to 10 minutes with a vr headset strapped to your head (before respawning) it was so boring.
People get so into this game and everyone uses comms. Lots of crazy people tho, screaming, ragers, assholes.
Some fun strats: if you have shield and nades you can pull the pin first then equip the shield, this allows you to, upon seeing opps IMMEDIATELY hide behind the shield with the nade ready to lob over. Almost guarantees your first kill cause you can cook the nades.
Another fun one is to lay down in a janky way with face aimed at a wall. People think you are dead and walk by as a team chatting amiably. Then you stand up and follow them with a knife team wiping them lol
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I used to believe it was only me that went through depression. I’ve worked with a lot of professionals that I’ve envied because of their confidence and success only to discover it was nothing more than a mask hiding the same issues we all go through. Jeff Bezos goes through depression. After you’ve bought everything you possibly can with your money, what’s left?
We all chase the serotonin dragon. How many times have you had that rush waiting for that golden pack of seeds, clone or tent you’ve always wanted and after it shows up, the rush wears off and you’re chasing the next one.
I see you do giveaways. That shows you enjoy helping and sharing with others. I’m always blown away when I see someone in need here and another member that doesn’t have two nickels to rub together is the first to step up to help. That’s compassion, and it’s a gift far greater than any material item you’ll ever possess.
Hang in there bud. Life really is amazing. It just feels the need to test how strong we really are sometimes.
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i went through a bout one time that almost did me in. i can tell you right now from experience, do not try to just see what it would be like and put the barrel of a gun in your mouth. it was damned hard not to pull the trigger and only my son’s card that he sent to me out of nowhere a few days prior stopped me. i learned during the dui class from the va a few years later, which was just a few of us sitting around on zoom having a chat, that i did have a drinking problem even though i rarely drank any more and a couple of years ago i started therapy. throwing myself into my new catholicism helps also.
i still get down every once in a while, just not that bad any more. no matter what anyone tells you, and i have yet to see this written here, it does not go away. it gets better and easier to deal with but is always lurking just under the surface, waiting to smack you in the face when you’re most vulnerable. don’t try to man up or whatever, get help. use a trusted person’s advice so as to avoid an idiot therapist.
i see now why 22 veterans a day off themselves.
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weight training is an excellent choice. for sure keep that going!
wooo, couple big changes here. those are both serious drugs. 
depersonalization? or just a turn of phrase? 
rainy days are for The Kiffness
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Fair warning: it’s been said to drive more “normal” people insane, but sometimes it helps me to sit down with a nice piece of fairy cake and get some perspective. Just a little reminder that the problems of one, two or three little people in this crazy world don’t amount to a hill of beans.
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Sometimes life is suffering. The ability to be bored is a skill.
But I agree about a psychiatrist especially if it’s chronic.
They say that when bad shit happens it’s normal to be depressed for 3-4 months. If you’re depressed for no reason, if food has no taste, something else is going on.
Psych drugs can help when you’re properly diagnosed and they’re dialed in which can take a long time.
But also just having someone smart and impartial to call you on your own bullshit is just as valuable. But it’s hard to find a therapist you gel with.
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I’ve been struggling with my own mental health for a while now. We’ve had a lost a lot of family over the last few years and it’s taken a toll on my wife and I. We struggled for years to have a child, she was born just after my dad passed. Then that December my wife’s brother died suddenly. Following April her sister died from alcoholism, then her mother the next year. Her last remaining sibling is in rehab and actually doing amazing.
Then my wife had a heart attack last October, then had a routine hernia surgery this year and while in recovery got an unrelated staff infection in her leg and was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. Now ger hair is falling out due to all the anesthesia, she went under 3 times in less than 2 months. Our lives have been upside down for a while. It’s just become the new normal.
Trying to be someone’s support who’s been through all that while barely holding myself together is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I don’t think I’m doing a good job at all. We’re both getting better everyday. Everyday presents it’s challengs.
Things I do to try and pick myself up. I stopped gardening for a couple years due to the stress and depression and just picked it back up last summer and that’s been great therapy for me. I love making something from nothing. I would try and learn a new skill, I was teaching myself to code Arduino and have a couple abandoned projects that I want to finish. I got an old mountain bike so I can take my daughter for bike rides to the park, I started going on rides at night and stopping at a local pond to have a toke and relax before riding back. That has been amazing for me, made me feel like a kid again.
I truly hope you find some peace in life. These tough times come and go. It may not feel like it but you are in control of your life, just not what happens in it. We cant stop the train, but we can switch tracks as much as we like.
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Keeping occupied with a variety of things usually keeps it tolerable for me. I see you already go to therapy, lift, and walk. Add something to look forward to like seeing an old friend, going to a new restaurant/trying a new recipe/watching a new show/visiting family members, play difficult video games with friends (league of legends gag), or a story game by myself so my mind can try to focus on something else. Check your blood work/testosterone/estradiol, have an allergy panel done, go through a sleep study, check vitamin levels to knock any of those out. If you take vitamin D it should only be 1000 iu unless you’re extremely deficient as it can cause lethargy/other issues. I know that it can come back right after you have a few seconds of neutrality and sometimes all of that may not work but keeping at it can lower it piece by piece.
Eating healthy, staying active, meditating, and going to therapy takes care of 10-20% of it for me so I understand where you’re coming from. Make a list of things that you do on the daily, weekly, monthly etc. and see what things you’ve been missing out on. I’ve been on medication as I have other psych issues and that’s about another 5-10% adding those together makes it anywhere from 15-30% easier. While it doesn’t sound like a lot sometimes that 30% is enough to stop me from doing something i’d regret.
I’ve joined support groups as of late as therapy wasn’t enough for me. I’m going to be voluntering my time out to see if I can get another few % to add to it all.
Other times you’ll need a break from everything that I have mentioned above and that’s okay too. It’s a journey for sure and over time you’ll find more things to bump that 15-30% up to maybe even 30-50%. It’ll come in waves but you’ll be more prepared every time. These days I try to treat it like a challenge where I throw all of the healthy coping skills I have at it and If that doesn’t work I try to shock my system with the coldest bath/shower that I can stomach at the time, take a nap to repeat it all over again tomorrow if I still feel the same way. One thing I noticed is that it does peak when the temps are high so I keep my house cooler than average at 68F.
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I do this except with very hot baths.
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Me too. Hot water has always been super soothing for me. I have a hot tub that was gifted to me that’s been just gathering clutter. I really need to get that thing running.
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Definitely everything everyone above ^^^ has said. The black dog comes for me occasionally too. I have to force myself, but if I go for a walk, the brisker the better, I know I’ll feel a bit brighter afterwards. I find what I eat can send me spiralling downwards, especially those all you can eat Chinese buffets, I think it’s the msg but I’m not sure. Alcohol too, I see you’ve quit, that’s great. Getting sunlight and/or supplementing vitamin D. Most people are deficient in vitamin D, it takes months and months for levels to rise so it’s safe to supplement 5-10k iu per day. Talking of supplements, I’ve tried St John’s Wort for depression and it was pretty effective for an over the counter herbal supplement. And sleep is greatly underestimated, we all think we can get away with less but it’s really more important than anything else and the closer you can get to syncing with circadian rhythms the better.
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Yes vitamin D! I started taking vitamin D, K2 and magnesium glycinate every day and have noticed a change in my general mood. My wife was just prescribed a 50000 weekly dose of vitamin D and an iron supplement.
It may be worth going to the doctor and getting some blood work done. You may be deficient in some areas and that’s been known to cause problems with mood, energy and depression. Vitamin B complex can help with energy but usually the effects become less noticable when taken regularly. I started taking b complex 3 times a week instead of every day. Your pee will turn an ungodly neon yellow color when your taking them too.
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I’ve dealt with depression for the past 10 years and what helped me greatly was going to a hypnotist and learning to use breathing techniques to meditate. I get really bad anxiety attacks and when I feel one coming on I will do these breathing exercises and they always help me pull out of the abyss.
Give this a try next time you feel down
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I’d for sure check in with a doctor for vitamin d levels before you go on a long spree with high doses as it should only take about 8 weeks.
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