Does your wife turn on all the lights and the vacuum when you’re just waking up?
Murder.
I am not awake yet and it pisses me off.
Anyone?
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She’s trying to wake you up to get you to do something. Its just best to get it over with.
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i cant fuck around i get dressed and go downstaire prepare my cofee go bathroom roll a joint then i fuck around on the couch
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My wife is kind of lazy so I usually get up before she does.
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tell her to use a broom
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This is very out of character but the lights are blasting and there are loud noises and I’m trying not to wake up.
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We’ve got a plumber coming so this is a good reason for cleaning I guess.
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plumber dont’ care 
but maybe good reason for you to be up.
lights on while i’m trying to sleep is definitely murder though. my mom used to do that shit to me to wake me up for school a long long time ago. 0-100 
real fast! lol hope your day gets better ^^
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That’s what I said!
I sleep with a shirt over my face to avoid such a thing but if I’m on the couch I have no protection.
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Poor Buddy! And you… erh… hmm… I meant Poor you!!! yes… yes that’s it.
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Buddy doesn’t seem to mind. Me on the other hand…
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ah so you don’t have that thing where you can just feel the photon’s radiating on you regardless of material attempting to cover you up? Maybe it’s just me 
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I’m usually first up at my house, but if I’m not, my roomie makes a smoothie with our f1 racing simulator, the Vitamix.
If I hear that, I know I slept in.
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I have a similar blender but Mrs Foreigner knows not to use it when I’m asleep lest she feel my wrath.
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Offer to do the vacuuming yourself.
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Not a fucking chance!
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You did SOMETHIN’! WTF was it?
Double check the birth control! nesting!
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Do a bad enough job and they won’t ask twice.
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Or it gets worse. Then we move to “I cannot believe you don’t know how to use a vacuum. What, are you 5. Wait - No. Even a 5 year old knows how to use a vacuum”. 
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