Wish in one hand, shit in the other…see which gets full quicker.
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Life got ya down, chin up it could always be worse. You could have a gay siamese twin who has a date tonight and you’re the only one with an asshole.
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“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific”
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"Beware of judgements of others.
In this imperfect world in which we live perfection is an illusion and so the standards by which we seek to measure it are also in themselves illusions.
If perfection is measured by age, grace, color of skin, color of hair, physical or mental prowess than we are all lacking.
It is well to remember that the harshest judgments are reserved for ourselves."
Master Chen Ming Kan
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I know the rest. Lol
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Some great ones, still going through.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Thismmust Be used here often ;’
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i’ve seen him a few times. I’ve seen some old bars in Nashville with his pictures all over the walls. As a young man in the morning it takes two hands from peeing in my face. Now that I’m old. It takes two fingers to keep from peeing in my shoe.
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Politics is best understood if you break the word down to its Greek root.
Poly being many, ticks being blood sucking creatures.
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The thing about the rectum needs to be wiped out as a whole completely.
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We lay on the ground and daydream. We look up at the sky and imagine what the clouds look like. We say oh that one looks like a dragon or that one looks like a dog. The clouds look down and say look that one looks like an idiot.
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I heard as “no good deed goes unpunished”
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Change nothing and nothing changes…
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When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
It ain’t over 'til it’s over.
If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded.
Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.
90% of the game is half mental.
Deja Vu All Over Again
It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.
We made too many wrong mistakes
You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.
Its getting late early
No matter where you go, there you are
He must have made that before he died
~Yogi Berra
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Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today.
P. Floyd
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Dryer than a dead dingoes donga
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VERY NICE- borat
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“Too weird to live, too rare to die!” hunter thompson