…or slicker than snot on a gold tooth.
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Big enough to hunt bear with a stick
…or slicker than greased snot in your back pocket.
Never heard the gold tooth before. 
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I say boy, You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball- Foghorn Legghorn.
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Tall enough to hunt geese with a rake
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They’re eating the dogs. they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the pets of the people that live there.
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did ya see the look on her face when he said that? i can’t wait til the next debate. (this part was political, sorry, it’s early)
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“Here comes the Sun”
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If i wanted to listen to an asshole, i’d Fart.
Captain Spaulding
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@BigMike55, is that Groucho’s Captain Spaulding? Sounds like something he would have said.
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W.C. Fields, when asked if he would like a glass of water - “Water? I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.”
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Actually from Devils Rejects. But i think he is named after the Marx Brothers character.
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More useless then a milk bucket under a bull
“I know your momma taught you better then that bud “
Its like a sore dick…can’t beat it
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Don’t let your alligator mouth overrun your Mickey Mouse ass.
If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, it’s a good bet someone put him there.
Better wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you.
Want in one hand, shit in the other…
Love you Mom.
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“Treat em how you meet em”.
“Don’t worry about things you can’t control "
“So what had happened was”
“Sweating like a whore in church”
" so hungry i could eat the ass out of a menstruating skunk”
" i got a yard on a hard long"
“If you can’t fight your friends”
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Thats About as Fucked up as a Football Bat
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“ Kill em all let God sort em out”
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Theres a right way, a wrong way, and then theres the way we do it
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