A fly is as likely to land on shit as it is on pie…
- Carrie Fisher
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Nervous like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
You’re about as smart as a red ant on a hot griddle.
Hey draggin toes… you’re not that fast, but you sure are slow.
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Boy, you’re bout as smart as a mud fence.
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Bahahahaahahahahahaaaaa!!! Awesome!
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One that I adhere to. ‘Speak softly and carry a big stick’
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One that comes up a lot for me recently, “measure twice, cut once”
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Your room’s looking fuckin sweet though!!!
@ReikoX
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If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
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There’s a time and a place for everything, everything better be in its place, every time I look at it. My father.
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My buddy tried this once with weed. I kept calling him Wimpy after that. And no l, I didn’t front him the weed. 
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They say 98% of people are effected by death in their lifetime.
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I would rather be an optimist and be wrong, than a pessimist and be right.
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Almost forgot this, told it to my kid like a reflex.
My old man used to say " Don’t let what you know stop you from finding out."
Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to tell a teenager but I “knew” what he meant.
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This saying always makes me laugh.
“Girl, you ain’t got enough ass to make a poor man a bowl of soup!”
I used to hear this from my Dad all the time, when I was trying to point something out to him… I’d say something like, “see that?” And he’d say…
"There’s no see to it… it’s all dry land!
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“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing milk bone underwear!” “Norm” from Cheers…
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Sounded funny last week…lol
“This is the worlds smallest violin playing, my heart pumps purple piss, every time I see a tear drop fall.” My father
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“Blame it on the web, but the spider’s your problem now”
…lyrics from Blame It On The Teton’s by Modest Mouse
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