How to pass a urine test! (unsupervised)

Smoker's Lounge Security & Legal
, , , ,
1

This method is fairly foolproof and easy. I did this weekly for a year or more until i obtained my prescription for cannabis. Luckily the majority of the time was going to a third party lab which only collected the sample without testing and temperature was never an issue, sometimes i brought ice cold urine, but many times i did need to bring it hot and I succeeded every time.

  • Steps 4 + 5 only required if they check temperature, if unsure assume they will!!

Step One - Obtain clean urine
Whether it’s work related or for court, if you are being drug tested they are only allowed to test for drugs, so you could use a pregnant womans urine or even a dogs urine and they won’t know, but the best bet is to use your own urine after a period of abstinence otherwise from a trusted friend who would pass (if unsure, buy a dipstick or test cup from amazon and make sure its clean)

Step Two - Freeze the urine!
Urine will stay good in the freezer for a year or two, maybe longer. Refrigerated it’s probably a week, maybe a month. Freeze a few bottles and you could have enough for a couple years of weekly testing.

Step Three - Thaw some urine
Once you find out you’ll be having a test take a bottle out of the freezer and run it under hot water in the sink long enough to thaw out at least 2oz (60ml). Re-freeze the rest.

*Step Four - Heat the urine
Heat the urine up in the microwave until it’s steaming hot. Place it in a small, clean container. I used 60ml liquid prescription bottles but you could also use a hotel shampoo bottle. i’ve also heard people putting it inside an unlubricated condom, twisting it then folding the condom back over so it stays sealed.

Step Five - Keep the urine at temperature!
This part is the most important. if the urine is 2 or 3 degrees under ~98 you will be required to re-test (probably supervised). There’s usually a thermo strip on the back of the cup. If it’s too hot you can blow on it and swish to cool it but there’s no heating it back up. It might be better to heat more than you need so it will cool slower than a small amount, or using some type of thermos container.

My method was wrapping it in hand warmers (the kind for your gloves) and keeping it on the dash of my car with the heat BLASTING on full until I arrive. Have the car heater primed before you heat it in the microwave. I have also heard if you keep it in a condom (see above) pressed against your skin it will stay at body temperature, like clutched underneath your ball sack is a good place, but i have never tried this method.

Step Six - Provide the sample
It’s important you get inside and provide the sample as quickly as possible before the urine has time to cool. Welcome to The Sub Club.

Good luck!

4 Likes
2

The urine can’t be heated but the strip can be blown on to warm to the temp you need before you take it out to them… nearly failed my barge test had it not been for my deep hot breaths into the inside of a piss filled cup lol

3 Likes
3

yes once when it was under i rubbed the temp strip with my thumb just before showing it to them… another time i fucked up in winter and it got too cool but thankfully they were training a new nurse that day and she didn’t know what she was looking for i guess. i showed her the blank temp strip and she just said OK thanks, i was soooo relieved

another clinic i went to a few times actually had a working hot water tap in their sink so i’d just add hot water to it to bring it up, but most only have cold

4

You’re lucky, when I had to do mine when I was Drilling, they would stand right out the door which was not allowed to be shut, you weren’t allowed to flush the toilet or run the taps, and it was temp checked.
We knew the general time ie. A days or twos notice, then they would call us randomly during the day to do it, and when they called you you had to drop what you were doing you weren’t allowed to go to your locker or do anything and head right to the testing company.

I pretty much did everything up to freezing it as you described, then I would take two 1 oz liquor bottles fill them up and tie a 12 inch string between the two of them and I would hang the string from the inside of my button on my pants and that the two bottles hanging around my nuts. I was able to work and do anything I needed to do on site without the bottles being disturbed and they are kept at the exact body temperature. The other guys I worked with at the time toked as well and they all lost their job except for me. They did their piss cleaning things you buy from the head shops and didn’t work for them. I never told him how I passed

2 Likes
5

oh yes, i imagine working with them in that area would keep them nice and warm :smiley: glad to hear your success story! i think using clean urine is the safest method, i wouldn’t trust the magic solutions or bloating with water + vitamin B etc

1 Like
6

We would get breath tested at the start of every shift as well as the random drug tests.
I used to be a diamond driller mostly underground and gave up smoking the day I went for my interview as I was too scared to lose my job.

1 Like
7

is that just for alcohol?

8

Yes that was just for alcohol, and needed to be zero.
If there was any chance you had some in your system you would need to have a sick day just to save your job.

2 Likes
9

I’ve done this same thing… Except two 1oz liquor bottles I got one of those travel shampoo bottles. Held 2.5oz.

2 Likes
10

Funny… saw this story this past weekend

Made me chuckle a bit

2 Likes
11

When we would have scheduled drug test everyone would have to clean up before. We called it studying. I have failed a couple tests :cold_sweat:

12

Synthetic urine has allowed me to pass multiple tests. I get the kits with powered urine, thermometer strip and hand warmer included.

1 Like
13

Now days you can buy a fake penis with synthetic urine.

1 Like
14

Sounds like a typical Friday night… wait, what?

4 Likes
15

i’ve heard of people failing with the synthetic urine too. mine weren’t just the test cup they were sent to a lab for GC/MS testing so i’m not sure if fake urine would pass. i’d rather use the bladder bag and fake penis with real urine, guaranteed to always pass that way. i always keep clean urine in my freezer :slight_smile:

if there’s potential for random testing always freeze urine before doing something which could make you fail

@Swampthing that’s so funny, it only needs a few seconds to heat up and those 7-11 microwaves are way more powerful than a regular home one, haha must have exploded piss all over the inside!

1 Like
16

Ive heard of freeze dried clean urine you just add water to

17

Oh man, been there! Got fired from a job because my synthetic urine did not pass the temperature test. They wanted me to take another sample but I made up some bullshit excuse to leave. Never the less i ended up getting fired. Last time I pee in a cup for a job.

4 Likes
18

Not sure if it’s mentioned, but make sure you use urine from the same gender. ie: male pee = male pee - female pee = female pee. :scorpion:

Pee

19

unless you agree to it they aren’t allowed to test for gender etc, only allowed to test for drugs during a drug test, i knew someone who used a dogs urine before! people constantly do things they aren’t supposed to though so it’s probably safer not to

2 Likes