Iām finding the older I get the more I have to face my past choices. I canāt drink beer like I used to. Every health issue seems to have a chance being more serious now. Not bouncing back so quick or easy. So, Iām facing changing some of my past lifestyles too. I suppose itās just life. It aināt going to last forever on this rock. Peace
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Stress is a strange thing, it affects us all differently in how we deal with it. You sound like you have been trying to keep everything under tight control financially, and everything that affects you ability to do stuff. Now that you have gained control of the financial problems, you stopped the tight control and relaxed and your body has taken the signal as a rest time and your immune system has gone dormant in the shut down.
Some times we are forced to just stop everything, even the thingās we love doing, because even they can be stressful, its an unconscious decision for self preservation of your physical systems, and sometimes only a complete change in lifestyle can help.
As a therapist I would see this a lot with clients. Improve your gut bacteria, like plants we are dependent on good bacteria in our system, it may mean a change in diet, if you donāt take a vitamin D supplement I would do that as well as vit K2 and b supplement B12 improves your ability to deal with and reduces anxiety, check these things out and see if they can be helpful to you. Kambucha can improve your gut bacteria fast and you can make your own LABs for internal and environmental use.
Inflammation is the cause of all illness, remove as many inflammatory foods from your diet. Sugar and anything that produces a high insulin response is #1 on the list but as a diabetic you know this already, but even low or zero calorie sweeteners will still create an insulin response some more than sugar. A high fiber diet helps with good gut bacteria. Eat organic as much as possible, it makes a big difference.
Biggest thing of all is mental, and having all this repressed anxiety coming up to the surface now you have let go of the control, is key to how you are programing your belief system, even if you are not in a healthy state you have to start creating it in your mind first, for it to become a reality, that doesnāt mean ignore symptoms, it means visualizing being in a state of health and balance, so your unconscious knows what you are trying to achieve instead of being on auto pilot doing what your internal negative thought processes are believing. To manifest anything in physical reality, it has to start in your mind firstly.
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I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.
One thing I thought of while reading your postings was this. Donāt know if it applies to you, but maybe take a look at our little club.
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I need the strongest indica youve ever came across. I mean 30 mins after you smoke your passed out for 3+ hours. This would make me feel calm. I cant get tired. After 36 hours awake I can start to yawn. Thatās with being alone and meditating through the panic attacks and having peace. I really dont know what i would do if I didnt have the xanax. Anyone know of a 100% indica landrace that has the quality i am looking for? Taste and structure are not important. I donāt care if it makes hermies. I want it if it does what i seek.
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Im not quiting smoking weed. Not ever. Id rather have panic attacks then feel depressed. I really appreciate everyones input and will do my best to seriously consider what everyone is suggesting. And alot of what your saying makes sense. And I will try my best to take better care of myself. Work just text me and told me to enjoy my day and not to come in. Like i said you guys and everyone i know is trying their best to help me. I dont deserve it. Iam a loner who keeps to himself who wouldnt help a soul. So now I tip the people at McDonaldās now, pay it forward, give to the people asking for money and try my best to help others. If i got 1$ bills in my pocket they tend to end up in other peoples hands. But the best help comes from being there when people need you. And doing what you say youāll do.
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Not sure if 100% indica but maybe take a look at this one
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Again your aeesome dude. And I really appreciate your professional concern for my health. Thank you.
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Ok maybe I got mixed up. Thank you @Shadey for your expertise. Thank you @allotment for the recommendation. I get confused.
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No problem man, a lack of sleep messes the head up big time, for our concentration, and causes a lot of other problems. I hope the info is helpful to you.
For strong indicas, I am growing some Tranquil Elephantizer Remix plants, that are supposed to be like smoking opium, for the ultimate couch lock and sedation. I have not tried them yet, but from the description I got, they sound like something you might want to try, I am planning on making some seeds from these plants for Sebring, so long as I get both sexes, but they probably wonāt be ready for another 4-5 months. You might be able to acquire some seeds elsewhere in the meantime, there was a preservation run on them a while ago, and there is a thread somewhere.
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Was a good read. It is a true fact though think you lived in the UK before but we call it hypochondria. Where you believe what your head is saying rather than your body. Problem with anxiety is you sit thinking about being having an attack which makes you anxious then you panic because you can feel yourself becoming anxious and it all fucks with each other.
Also @V4vendetta the weed could be the reason for your panic attacks so Iād be a little more open minded to slowing down despite your ailments bro weeds not a cure itās a mask. Itās known for fact it lowers blood pressure which is great(sort of) but that doesnāt help make you less anxious because it can also make you paranoid/anxious and your back at square one.
On a lighter note nice to know what actually happened with you buddy I hope things improve from now on in 
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I feel high when iam not. The Xanax doesnt get me high. I just feel normal. Then once i feel normal I can smoke a bowl and get some satisfaction and some happiness. I have a panic attack when I smoke without Xanax. So like i said. I tried quiting and thatās not an option until I can get more stress out of my life. Dont worry guys Iām still smoking like 10 joints a day and Iāll probably roll one up here in a little while. You guys are right about what you say. And I wish things were more simple.
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That strain sounds dangerous lol. Iā got ahold of some violator seeds in Hopeās of the same kind of high
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Should be interesting to compare what they are like when you grow those out.
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These results pair well with findings from research showing that marijuana compounds have a distinct effect on levels of the neurotransmitter GABA, which plays a key role in the anxiety response. GABA is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that acts as a brake on anxiety, counterbalancing the effects of excitatory brain chemicals like glutamate. Early research suggests that compounds in marijuana, particularly cannabidiol (CBD), enhance GABAās effects with moderate downsides.
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I cut the gluten out of my diet and I feel way less excited. Go figure.
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I would be less excited to if i had to cut that out 
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I had 20 wings for dinner. Feeling nice and stuffed.
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Have you tried edibles?
Lotsa folks believe smoking weed canāt hurt you but ANYTHING burning produces CO and that is a killer especially to your heart.
Hereās hoping you get better, bro.
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Willy might quit smoking weed but not me, I can control how long I am high easier by smoking. Which is important when it can give you a heart attack with my condition.
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Hey Brother, I went through a bout with serious GI issues and it caused me severe anxiety for months I took everything I could think of xanax, klonopin, like 20 over the counter supplements none of it really did more than ease the anxiety slightlyā¦ I lost 40 lbs in a month because the only thing that helped some was to walk allot as it made me feel a little less anxiousā¦Also I only slept likec1 to hours after being up for 24 hours or moreā¦
Then I tried this supplement called 5-htp and L- theanine and within 24 hours I felt much betterā¦ Like I said I tried everything, but those 2 really workedā¦ PLEASE ATLEAST TRY THEM! YOU CAN FIND BOTH IN THE VITAMIN ISLE AT WALMART!
I really hope this will helpā¦
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