I’m not a naturalist or even naturally-educated. 
But I spent a lot of time outside when I was a kid, and really paid attention. So…
I’m noticing a lot more little black widow spiders just running around than I usually do. And their behavior is different. They’re California-active. So I’m predicting a plethora this year, like redbacks down under.
Meh, so long as they don’t take up residence in one of your shoes, or under the toilet seat or in your bed sheets etc. then you can learn to live with them. They are not aggressive, though the females will guard their nests. They are so common down here that we more or less ignore them, and besides, sure they are venomous , but when compared to most of the other lethal creatures here, they are pretty mild. Funnel web spiders on the other hand…. They will definitely kill you and greet you like this:
A couple days ago I was lying in my bed, back was killing me so I couldn’t sleep.
I felt something on my face so I gave my face a rub, thought it was maybe just my beard or something.
Couple minutes later I felt something crawling into my ear.
Luckily I was able to grab it, and realized it was a small spider when I turned the light on.
Down the bathroom sink it went.
Sorry, not Black Widow related, but spider related anyways. 
That doesn’t look like a good day.
I’ve done that. I remember reading that most people swallow on average 12 spiders in their lifetime. I don’t know about that, but I did swallow one in my sleep many months ago.
My throat swelled up and felt really harsh for a few days but I didn’t die or turn into anything. 
♂
No secret spidey senses? Bummer.
Seems like the last time I’ve seen a black widow was several years ago and even then remarked about how rarely I see them anymore. In the southeast. I did have a little king snake scare the shit out of me today.
Not me.
Are ya sure? Sometimes these things take longer than you realize. I’d still try and sling a web at least once a day for a year or so to be on the safe side. 
Just think about all the ones crawling on you and in your mouth while you sleep throughout your life.
I used to own Tarantulas before.
But they were to big to fit in my ear, or my mouth.
Although, I had a baby Pink Toed Tarantula that escaped its tank. It could still be alive here somewhere 
I knew a guy in boot camp that had a spider lay eggs in his damn neck. Dude walked around with like three feet of gauze stuffed into a thumb size hole.
Another guy had it less severe, but on his inner thigh
I guess looking back it wasn’t necessarily a spider, that’s just what the rumor was.
Great lakes
This threads freekin me out.
= 
No thanks. I’ll see myself out 
One of my cousins got bit by a black widow when I was a kid and we all thought he was going to die. Mostly because we were all stupid kids, he did end up in the hospital.
The brown recluse is pretty notorious for biting folks while crawling around on them in their sleep and leave some pretty nasty holes from the destruction of flesh their bite causes.
Wait! I got some good ground hornet and chigger stories too! Haha
This has always been a huge fear of mine … Jesus christ bro I’d have acted like the pet detective when he thought he had a bat on him
this thread is a solid NOOOOOPPE but yall have fun swallowing 
