i think where we separate the winners and losers (so to speak) going forward is going to revolve around who uses technology as a tool and who uses it as an escape.
sort of the ālearn 2 codeā but in a less obnoxious format.
the scariest part to me is how devastation is now comfortable. people dream of a post-apocalyptic world and that really freaks me out lol.
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Caust to many getting married!
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in 2000-2022 the divorce rate plummetedābecause fewer people get married as opposed to just living together.
In the 1950s only 3% of couples got divorced, in the 1960s it increased to 10%. In the 1980s, 33% of all marriages ended in divorce.
That is because prior to 1970, you used to have to prove your spouse had harmed or betrayed you to get the divorce granted.
""Irreconcilable differencesāā was NOT acceptable until 1970- but even then there had to be mitigating circumstances- such as mental illness, alcoholism etc. In the mid 70ās California introduced āno-faultā divorceā¦and the rates when up from there.
Some stats arenāt 'ālegitā because they have no way to include people living together instead of marrying into the formula.
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And this is why I still use the āif i lick it itās mineā principle.
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Yepā¦ what I saidā¦
See! Licking totally works yo.
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Marriage is a ridiculous institution with no point imo. What? You needed to prove you love someone? Oh you wanted a different tax filing status? Oh you think traditional monogamy isnāt toxic as hell?
Iām open to hearing a single meaningful thing that the practice makes possible, that isnāt possible outside of marriageā¦ I mean I guess if you want to fuck without religious guiltā¦
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Iām polyamourous and there still guilt if itās not all openly communicated and equally agreed upon!
Just sayināā¦
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Same. I see the jealousy thing show up more frequently than the guilt, but I also think that has to do with internalizing/normalizing monogamous relationships and the weird belief that we somehow own romantic partners (the actual historical basis for marriage btwā¦ women as chattelā¦see dowries for more info 
)
I donāt judge people who get married, but I donāt see the benefit
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For those of us stuck in a monotonous , er, monogamous marriage is still better that the psychotic ādatingā scene. First 10 years was fine, next five was crazy, last 7 have been boring.
And as far as the Homer āi own herā it works both ways if you are desired by another person, or desire a new experience that stupid piece of paper means I lose EVERYTHING Iāve been working my ass off for for the last 20 years. EVERYTHING! Should I decide to prowl.
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Agreed! Thatās why I said because too many people are getting married plain and simple. It is a religious institution even if it has been secular. Goes back to āmoralesā and what others think. Government also has to get there tax $ and some more for permits and blood tests.
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I like being marriedā¦ most of the time. 
According to my daughter, the modern dating game sucks big-time.
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Well Itās been 29 years since I got hitched, I was 33 years old. Itās ok I guess, itās marriage, like a Clint Eastwood movie. Itās good, bad and ugly sometimes but mostly itās good. She likes to burn with me thatās all that matters.
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I thought for sure there would be a blood test when i got married 17 years ago, but apparently at least where i am thatās not a thing anymore 
My wife thought there would be a blood test also, specifically due to the movie 
splash , in which Tom Hanks yells about him and the mermaid needing A BLOOD TEST like 15 times in one scene before they could get married. I think thats probably where i got the idea too 
āā 
ā¦
Thanks a Lot, Ron Howard
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yeah, a lot of young guys have given up completely and a lot of younger (say 20s/30s) women just walk around with a look of loneliness and worry often as if theyāre thinking āwhere did they all go?āā¦ it makes it easy to not think about when life doesnt really vibe with dating though, the apps and whatnot arent going anywhere, doesnt invoke the same kind of biological impulse we probably used to have to pair up and procreate before we run out of time.
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Online dating seems ideal on the surface, but it clearly shows the āParadox of Choiceā in action.
" American psychologist Barry Schwartz, a professor of social theory and social action at Swarthmore College, explains this puzzle in his book Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, and in his TED Talk. He states that having too many choices, with its overwhelming choice overload, might give us anxiety, stress, and depression instead of happiness. The more options we have, the less decisions we make. When making a decision is so hard, we tend to blame ourselves when our expectations are not met. Moreover, having too many choices makes us feel we may be missing out on something. For example, I often ask myself: āWas that the right choice?ā or āWhat if I had taken the other option?ā.
More is less?
Schwartz states that having too many options may often lead to negative outcomes, including:
- Choice Paralysis
We end up making no choice at all because we get paralyzed by the variety of options and canāt even make a decision. Rather than enjoying the good side of choice luxury, we feel confused and overwhelmed.
- Degradation in Satisfaction
Having an abundance of choices makes it much easier for us to blame ourselves for not making the right decision. We tend to regret our actions, and feel anxious and stressed. As a result, there is a decrease in our satisfaction after making a choice. The sad part is that we can never know if our chosen option was ātheā option without trying everything out there. We may be disturbed by this uncertainty, and by knowing that there may always be a better option.
To sum up, Schwartz argues that choice overload might complicate the decision-making process: it requires much effort and makes the psychological consequences more severe."
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paralysis by analysisā¦ very real stuff for sure. for me its all just very formulaic, i prefer to find something rare and special with my own eyes or intuition. but that seems kind of impossible for younger women now, with all the āempowerment of womenā going on there is still some barrier from them reaching out to single men outside of an app. and a lot of men younger than me basically only talk about video games and trading something (video game skins and weapons, stocks, crypto, shoes, etc) on discord with their friends, many talk about having "e-girlfriends " and being exclusive with them. there is definitely something else rotting at the core of the love life of younger america as well.
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