Thankfully, my marriage is neither. Mrs. mota and I get along great, seriously enjoy one anotherās company, and have a serious emotional commitment to one another. That said, sex is an entirely different thing. Itās just not serious in the same way. Weāve never been monogamous, and thankfully itās never been monotonous either. Weāve had some difficult times, but going through them together has made our relationship stronger.
One of the benefits of marriage for us was that before I retired, Mrs. mota had health insurance and I didnāt. On a pragmatic level, that alone was worth the price of admission.
this is pretty random but i just got rid of my beard. iāve had it for 9 years. and prior to the 9 years i had it for years as well. i can no longer try out for ZZ top.
90% of our marriage is fine, boring, but fine. Thereās just little to no excitement. Spontaneity is a thing of the past. Sex? HA! Sheās touched me once in the last year. While I know the reasons (stress, major medical issues, getting the kid set up on his own, finances, sure) it still doesnāt stop the desire to be physically desired. Especially when others are interested. Sorry for using you all for a therapy session.
i thought it was 7am not 7pm when i woke up. made sure to take care of everything needed for start of day and realized it was night. now im caffeinated and muscles revved up and nothing to do. this is about average for a nomad, normalcy is not a thing when your life revolves around things that are out of control. no time for marriage or anything personal, this life is about producing results, making money, or else we dont eat. there is no time for feelings where im at. but always grateful for what we have.
Iām sorry youāre going through a rough patch in life. Youāre absolutely right, being touched and feeling desired is a core human need, and the lack hurts.
If you just wanted to vent, skip this next part but if you did want a therapy session response, hereās my 2 cents:
Admittedly I failed to stay married, but with the benefit of looking back & a lot of personal growth since then, I have a practical suggestion. Kill two birds with one stone - make self-care, self-improvement, and supporting your partner into your new hobby.
Self-improvement might look like going to counseling, or joining a support group, or watching some psychologists on YouTube (thatās been huge for me) or reading their books.
Self-care might look like going out with a guy friend, getting a new soap you love the smell of, giving your preferred vehicle a wash so you feel happy when you get in it.
Partner care might look like taking on some task that stresses your partner out (maybe making a dinner, cleaning the shower, fixing that cabinet door that always squeaks). Iāve read and experienced that for girls, the sexiest thing a guy can do is help with housework, and youāre absolutely right about stress - if life is too stressful, I canāt stop worrying long enough to think about sex, let alone enjoy it.
new soap is a great one, i do that when i just need something random to switch things up. some fresh, sharp scent and i feel more energized after. could be helpful for those looking for re-invigorating the love life.
Weird. I would guess if it could be prelude to a phishing attempt, though that could get awfully expensive for them. Was it sent āfriends & familyā, or with purchase protection so they could get it refunded?
Of course it could just be someoneās mistake. Iām just the suspicious type.
Anybody elseās kid(s) sleep through Christmas morning?
My son is 21 now but his entire life i think the earliest heās ever been up on Christmas was 730? Christmas started at 0500 when I was a kid. As soon as you could wake dad up āaccidentallyā it was on! My sonā¦ nope! Weāve always had to wake him up!
but if you did want a therapy session response, hereās my 2 cents:
