FROM MY GUARD: TRUTH AND LIES
“To IGNORANCE, our sister, our shadow, who is born long with us, seems tiny to us at noon, becomes more extensive at the end of our day and does not die with us, but seeks other minds to perpetuate its sad existence.” "
I grew my hair long when I was young, I walked on paths and paths of fields and forests, as a “scout” and began to love Nature, when no one knew the word Ecology, I was in demonstrations for whatever cause I considered fair, I ran in front of police and bulls, I was cut the hair when I was forced to do military service.
I became a mountaineer and climbed mountains, swam, paddled, sailed in lakes and seas, rafted in clear waters, dived with oxygen bottles in coral reefs, rode a balloon, in a helicopter, went into deep caves and admired the stalactites and stalagmites, looked for dolmens that our ancestors left us, ago thousands of years for inaccessible places, planted trees and became an ecologist. While I kept searching.
I participated from the beginning in the “Democracy”, voting for some and sometimes others, I got involved in neighborhood associations and NGOs.
I worked, worked and delivered many years of my youth and gave benefits, to the companies that hired me. While I kept searching, I became a seeker. I changed home and city several times and moved my experiences and useless objects that I was accumulating to new places, starting again with the hope of growing professionally and personally. While I kept searching, not knowing very well, what I was looking for.
I listened to many songs, attended many concerts and read many books and my tastes for music and reading changed over time and years lived. I made thousands of photographs throughout my life, traveling by car, motorhome, motorcycle, boat, plane, through towns, cities and countries, slept in good hotels and savored delicacies in fashionable restaurants, spent nights in country shops and fed with simple food, at pilgrim hostels.
I belonged to exclusive paid clubs, I joined a secret group and I thought I was a better person for the knowledge they gave me and that I practiced vigorously, the Masons looked for me and I didn’t care.
I became ovolacteo-vegetarian for several years, stopped drinking alcohol, fasted, imposed diets, shaved my head, went to meetings for Peace, “Masters” conferences, guru talks, meditations, practiced yoga, tantra, metaphysical rituals, Violet flame, attended courses of rebirthing, Reiki, family constellations, regressions and they did acupuncture, osteopathy, auriculotherapy, crystal therapy, cleaned my aura, aligned my chakras, cured me in a temazcal… And not that I stopped working and working, I organized meetings for others and I myself gave courses and conferences. While I kept searching.
The group I enthusiastically devoted many years to, criticized me, judged me and expelled me for rebel and seeker of new paths and in my search, others welcomed me with open arms.
I wore expensive fashion clothes, rustic pilgrim clothes, modest ritual robes, solemn layers of crusaders, Muslim chilabas and carnival costumes and attended events, congresses, meetings, rallies, masses, dikras and prayers; prayed, sang, danced, mantralized, meditated, kept silence and kept searching.
While searching, I directed a TV program, wrote in newspapers, magazines and conducted a radio program for several years, I gave my opinion, I was for, against, interviewed enlightened, teachers, writers, leaders of the “New Era”, young Indians, journalists, healers, politicians, ecologists… and i kept looking.
I went with shamans and drank with them for months ayahuasca and experienced the strength of the power plants… and searched and searched. So I traveled to the Amazon, to Brazil, Colombia and went to the pyramids of Egypt, Mexico, to the Jordanian desert of red sands, stepped on the lands of the ancient prophets of the New and Old Testament, visited in Greece the cradle of philosophers, in Rome I got soaked in his legacy and I visited the Vatican pump, bathed in cenotes and visited temples, churches, cathedrals, synagogues, altars of Cuban shrines and also mosques. I searched and what I found wasn’t satisfied.
In Malaysia I prayed in Buddhist temples and in Turkey on the Silk Road, I came to the sacred place of the Sufi, read their books and learned the Way of the Heart, I was moved by the twists of the dervishes and the music of the Ney. But I kept searching…
One day I stood, tired of so many seekers of the Lie, of so much paid spirituality, of getting initiations to stupidity, of cult of ignorant of the Truth, of depraved saints who deceive their followers, of crooked teachers who guide the blind, of enlightened people who think they have found the Supreme light and light up with the lighthouse of another, of warred shepherds who lead their sheep to the slaughterhouse of ignorance, of people who see the flaws of others and their do not fit by the door, of cards who predict the future by a “modic” price, of machists and feminists, of Syrians and Trojans, of Right and Left, of Good and Evil, of White Magicians and Wizards black of the New Era and the Old Era, of channel angels and Aliens who “come to save us”, of which we are consider gods and goddesses, of those who meet to open portals to I do not know where, of apocalyptics, of those who call themselves fighters against “The New World Order” and do little for themselves and less for those around them, but above all I am tired of those they despise others, because they consider themselves in possession of the Truth.
Finally I have become a dissident, a skeptic, a heretic, who resigns the herd and begins to think for himself, questioning me all learned, I no longer want to build a new world, but build all the scaffolding of my paradigms, beliefs and dogmas, based on apparent truths, ancient philosophies and religions that lead to the precipitation of fanatics and simply begin a different life.
I have less and less ties to the illusional world of the manipulative Matrix. I no longer need the acceptance of any group, society or religion, nor do I seek redemption outside of myself, I accept the physical body I dwell in and the search ends within my inner, the union with my conscience is now my battle, my new quest.
“When you grow up, you will discover that you already stood up for lies, deceived yourself or suffered for nonsense.” If you are a good warrior, you won’t blame yourself for it, but you won’t let your mistakes repeat itself either. " (Pablo Neruda)
- DDLA / Selections: Emilio, Webmaster Radio Tierra Viva -
