How to keep the cops from finding my weed

Smoker's Lounge
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What are the best ways to hide weed from cops?

I am talking about a situation where they come to your house with a dog.

I have thought of a few ways, give input on these and possibly suggest other, better ways:

  1. Dig a ground stash behind my woodshed (not directly behind it, say some 50 yards from it into the forest) construct a wooden “door” to the hole and cover it with a natural looking piece of forest shrubbery. This would require me to always take my vapourizer there after using. While this one is probably the best bet, in the wintertime it would be impossible to access the stash without leaving footprints into the snow.

  2. Fill a big bucket full of coffee, keep the jars and the vape (in a bag) hidden in the coffee. This is somewhat risky, as who would have like 22 pounds of coffee anywhere? Could be suspicious, and they could easily dig into the coffee and find my stash.

  3. Hide the jars inside my pile of wood inside the woodshed.

  4. Do a combination of 2 & 3.

  5. Do a combination of 1 & 2.

What do you think is the best idea? Any suggestions? Feedback?

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The question that comes to my mind is why are you worried about the fuzz bringing a dog to your house? Are you bringing any attention to yourself?
Popo parks in front of my house a lot to clock radar. When I go walk my dog, I always wave at them. I like them keeping traffic slowed down.

If they bring a dog to your house, odds are they have search warrants and are likely going to find something to incriminate you. What about your plants?

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I have 2 drug offences on my record so the cops have a legal right to come for a visit because they have “a reason to suspect”. So ofc they will have a warrant.

That’s why I am worried.

Its not like they would just randomly drugdog peoples houses over here, but b/c of my sentences, I am now at their mercy.

I will not have plants at my house for a few years now, so the plants are not the problem - its just that I want the occasional after-work puff and wondering how should I do this.

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Dogs are easy to fuck with.

Use a blender to powderize your swag/trim, and dust your fence line and yard with it. Dust a trail from your front lawn to your neighbours property. It doesn’t take much.

Use an oven mitt and rub the swag powder on it and wipe every wall, cupboard, floor, door, chair and table in your house. When the dog signals the toilet seat, or keeps signaling (keeps sitting) and won’t move, the cops will put the dog back in the truck.

Your examples are the exact locations cops will look.

Your best bet is to do the above, then rent a storage locker and keep it there with other junk. Again, spread swag at the storage location (other lockers and office). You can keep a tiny bit for yourself buried in a flower bed (make sure you have more than one blatantly obvious flower bed.), and in a baggie (a trivial amount) or oregano container with your spices for your personal smoke. If they find it, big deal.

Whatever you do, don’t shit in your own yard (deal from your house), and my #1 tip? Tell your ego to fuckoff and Keep your mouth SHUT. Don’t even tell God when you pray. NO ONE (especially people you trust completely!). Shut up from your plans, buying seeds all the way to harvest and unloading.

You can feed your ego when it’s all gone and you’re on the beach in Bali sipping an umbrella topped drink. After that, keep your mouth shut if you want to do it again.

If you do get a visit from the cops, then don’t visit your stash for a couple months. At least.

Edit: After reading it’s for personal, I’d move to a friendly state. 3rd strike fucks you up.

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Thanks for the tips.

A friend of mine suggested the smearing trick also, but in my opinion that would only alert the police to think “OH YOU HAVE HAD SOMETHING, WE’LL COME AGAIN IF WE DON’T FIND ANY NOW”…

The place where I’ll rent this house from is a very small town, the nearest city with such storage units for rent is about 50 mile drive away… So everytime I’d want to indulge, 100 miles (160km) to get some…

The small amount in my house I’d keep in the bathroom so I could flush it if the cops show up.

I can’t move into a friendly state as there are none in my country, and I can’t immigrate to the US with a criminal record.

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Jars for storing jam are airtight and reasonably solid and can be bought without suspicion, especially if you buy jam making equipment as well. Find somewhere a few minutes walk from your property, or at least far enough so that if it is found it cannot be connected to you legally and bury it. Be careful of fingerprints…

I know people who have hammered a nail inside a rotting tree stump then attached string to that and hung their stash from the string. If you find the right tree/stump it can only be discovered by someone with arms as long as yours feeling in just the right spot.

Basically, anywhere you can think of hiding it in your home will probably be searched. Someone else has already thought of all the best places and so now they are not good places any more because the police know about them.

Airtight, non rusting, non rotting container buried somewhere. Then never carry more than you can pop into your mouth and eat.

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Thank you for your contribution.

The problem with the hiding it outside thing is that while I could hide some in the forest, during the winter the footprints would tell a tale.

But you are right, I better not risk it by having it at the house.

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If your winter has a reliable snow cover which will not vanish quickly then in winter you could use the snow as a cover and just bury a jar in that.

Maybe even make a snowman to disguise footprints. If there are prints everywhere, there are no tracks of prints that can lead them to a stash. Hell, the snowman could even be the stash.

Winter would make it hard to dig anything up out of the ground without it being obvious any way.

If your forest has old trees I still reckon a good way is, nail in rotting tree, hang jar from string from nail. Pull up jar, take a bud or two to put in your portable air tight container, put it back, carry on walking to different trees to “cover your tracks”…

Always leave prints to many trees, then your particular tree will not stand out. Start a hobby that means you have a reason to go into the forest often and always be equipped for that when you go. Maybe take up running, or bird watching, or fungus hunting, or even just collecting wood (for burning or art).

Anything that is a valid reason for you being in the forest and going there regularly and walking between lots of trees.

Then there will be many footprints leading to many trees, only one of which is “your tree” and even your tree looks just like any other…

Make the problems with winter into problems for other people finding your stash in winter.

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Why don’t you make oil? One dropper and you’ll be high for hours.

Put it in an olive oil bottle.

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Vacuum sealers are cheap these days. Or my way, get rid of bulk as quick as possible but my friends help make this far too easy, no challenge there so maybe go with the vacuum sealer idea eh

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Is it illegal to own weed? You could just have a baggie with like an eight or so… And the stash in the shed.

You cannot “cheat” a dog to not sniffing the weed, i mean; these creatures smell cancer inside people bro…

Same thing here, cannot disguise smells to a good dog.

First idea you had is the best. IMHO.

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This is a woderful miracle of human reasoning, dogs can’t reason.

I wouldn’t wanna be your neighbor bro!

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he’s not saying to cheat the dogs, but to put the spell everywhere, the dog will hit on everything. makes the dog un-usable. but if they want you, they got you. popo always find a way

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I understood man. Make the dog give out false alarms everywhere so it becomes unreliable in the search.

But the coffee and the wood, would be why i said you can’t cheat a dog.

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So you’re on paper/parole/probation?
First the you have to do is honestly ask yourself if it’s worth your freedom. Here you’re only on parole (under their thumb) for so long, once that time period is up you’re a somewhat normal citizen. So you can do what some of my friends have done and just wait until you’re out of their control. Idk how it works there.

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That snowman idea is a good one!

The hole idea I had, was to have a hole with a “lid” (natural shrubbery on top), so I wouldn’t need to dig.

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Been actually thinking about this, but I am not sure if I can make BHO without blowing my place up…

Maybe I could do it in the shed.

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Yeah, there are cheap ones at like 40$ at this local store here… You are right.

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Probation until 20th of January 2019…

After that they will visit my house every 3 months roughly, for the coming 10 years or so.

So if I’d wait to get completely “free”, the first time I’d smoke would be 20th of January 2029…

And that is a looooooooooooooooong time. Too long for me.

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But in a way then I am giving them (the cops) signals that HEY I HAD WEED HERE…

And you know how it goes… Mess with the police and get them frustrated… They will be assholes after that…

Some might argue that they are already assholes even before, but I think they would be even more assholey after such “treatment”…

I mean, they have the legal right to put me into jail for 3 days at any given day (this goes for anyone here, the term they have for it is “Under Investigation Imprisonment”), so spraying budjuice all over and wasting their time —> “We have a reason to suspect that there is weed somewhere here so we putting you in for 3 days now”…

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