Rules:
Just funny stuff - no tragedies
NO political stuff
NO overt sexual content (use innuendo)
I’ll begin
Once when I was a teenager my friends and I were partying and a little dog came from nowhere and stole my bag. It was midnight and we were chasing the dog through the neighborhood, yelling at it to stop. It took 30 minutes to catch that dog. Afterwards we couldn’t stop laughing.
No takers?
First bag I’ve ever bought. I was 15 and my buddy and my younger brother were 13. We smoked and rode our bikes down to a local pizza shop. I walked in to buy us some pizza and the owner who was friends with my super religious parents yelled at me. “What are you doing in here!?” I was so stoned and so confused. They had been closed an hour already it was like 1am. Luckily he took pity on me and handed me like 5 unsold cuts and kicked me out.
Looking back I can just imagine how stupid and confused my high ass must’ve looked.
My I did offer the joint to the Pigeon that walked up to me. I cooed at it and everyone said “you sound like a Pigeon… man.” (sounded like Chong delivery)
And then that’s how the handle came to be back in '97… or '98. To many sessions since to remember that well back. 
That’s perfect a great story for your handle!
It absolutely is!
@Gadarien and @Bert , I’ve always been one to only acknowledge nick-names given by friends or third parties.
If you give yourself one that’s super lame.
This one was intended as a tease but I owned it and here we are some 20+ years later 
They used to call me hog pen
15 years old and smoking homegrown (1980). The buzz lasted about 30 minutes, but made you laugh. Went thru Churches chicken drive through. Trying to order at the window and could not stop laughing. Everyone in the restaurant can see/hear the racket. They start laughing. Finally communicated our order, but it took five minutes to do so. My face hurt the next day from laughing!
Myself and a friend (think of ashton kusher from the 70s show) and his part time squeeze climbed a fire tower in the southern Missouri park. I was driving my 1973 “Gold duster” Plymouth with a sunroof
They had both ridden with me down there and had rode in my car many times
At any rate we were high and high on the tower when he looked down and said "dude some one cut a Hole in the roof of your car!’
i found out that the center pole of the main doors of our high school was removable when i took it out to let my friend drive his chevette down the hallway.
The first shots were fired in '98 kicking off a multi-decade conflict. Weapon of choice, Marshmallows.
Scene: first bachelor pad
Cast: Shag (not our shag), cousin G, and myself
I’m sitting on the floor cross-legged,G is stretched out on a futon mattress(just the mattress no frame, and Shag is sitting on the bed. We’re passing the bong around and burnt through about a dime. We sit there laughing and bullshitting when I get the munchies. So I just up off the floor and run into the kitchen to find something to gnaw on, and there, in the bottom of the pantry is a tempting bag of puffed up sugar and egg whites: Marshmallows! SCORE! Grab the bag, rip it open(only to later discover a zip seal on the other end) pop one in my mouth and tootle back to the bedroom. As i open the door, Shag gives me a quizzical look, Note: no words have been spoken since I jumped off the floor, I hold up my prize triumphantly and he nods understandingly. And then I see the back of my cousins head…
Marshmallow?
Cousin’s head?
Marshmallow?
Cousin’s head?
Shag? Nods with enthusiasm
Marshmallow flies with unerring accuracy to make a rather hollow sounding pop, dead center on the back of my cousin’s head! The night was a blur of laughter, fake death cries, and flying Marshmallows.
When it was time to move out (7 months later) hostilities raged to the breaking when a stash of ammunition was discovered and fighting broke out again. This time the Marshmallows were smaller and harder. The conflict continues to this day any time we happen to convene.
Recently smoked some kush mints and got soo stoned it brought a bit of paranoia but I was used to it since I’ve smoked plenty of heavy hitters. But then i start typing in url’s and none of the pages would load. I was pissed and confused. Turns out I was typing the urls in the youtube search bar 
Growing up my best friend had a dog named “Smokey” who enjoyed partying. This dog was known by more people than us. When I read you story I couldn’t help but wonder if Smokey crossed your path. Never knew him to steal weed but stuff happens. Grew up in Maryland just outside of South East DC.
Smib
My story is from Shreveport Louisiana.
We had a Boston Terrior who loved it when we blew smoke in his ear. He’d beg for it, then get really messes up.
Regarding the marshmallows story (which was hilarious) - we had a bon fire and I was teasing my brother that the fire was so big he can stand on the other side and the marshmallows would cook midair as I threw them in his mouth. The first one I threw hit him in the forehead so hard it made a smacking sound and his head was knocked backwards. He was teased mercilessly by the family.