When you get a recipe of something awesome, your intent is always to pack it full of medicated oil.
10 Likes
When you get out of the shower and dry your top half, put away the towel and then are suddenly perplexed to discover your bottom half is still wet
10 Likes
when you use the term bogart but not referring to anyone famous or a movie.
11 Likes
Follow on. When you shave half of your face but don’t realize it until someone asks you later in the day (me).
Hey bro, interesting style you got going on.
Huh? Sh.t.
10 Likes
When your constantly telling your crowd to pause for the cause 
4 Likes
When you pull up to a drive thru but you have to just drive a way because you can’t get any words out and all you can do is laugh hysterically
5 Likes
When you drape yourself in velvet jogging suit , don’t know your name & live in a van down by the river…
2 Likes
The dreaded pirate Half Beard.
When you can’t open a drawer or cupboard without finding at least one jar of weed. “Oh right last summer’s autos I forgot about those.”
Or how about -
When you decide that it’s worth the gamble to use your phone when your hands are covered in pistils and resin, as mine are right now
14 Likes
when you notice a cop car and so you pull in the driveway, get out of the car and see the cop fade in the distance, so you get back in the car and go to your own house.
12 Likes
When you accidentally puncture a can of tear gas in your pocket, you forgot was there, and ruin a house party of 40 odd people 
7 Likes
When you get beaten up by a kangaroo, that should not be loose in the English country side, because your brother says your hallucinating, and you try and grab it to prove him wrong.
13 Likes
$10 on the kangaroo!
9 Likes
When you take a 7 inch cake with 8ozs of weed in it to someones house and forget to tell them, and their dogs eat it.
6 Likes
He kicked my ass big time lol. In fairness though a toddler could have kicked my ass as I had drunk 4 liters of wine, dropped half a tab of acid and smoked a load of weed.
8 Likes
And after getting your ass kicked probably smoked a joint………
2 Likes
No, I went 7ft backwards into a stinky muddy ditch from a hop up and drop kick, I had to strip off all my clothes before my brother would let me back in the car, I forgot to pick up my jeans which had all the drugs in my pocket 
4 Likes
A stoner embodies the ultimate cruise control.
I should slow down, going too fast.
Damn over compensated. I’m going too slow. I look suspicious.
Crap, I think that guy just looked at me.
(that was some paranoia inducing stuff back when)
11 Likes
when you get a date with the most beautiful woman you ever laid eyes on and during the date you find out she is dead set against toking and IT MATTERS!
11 Likes
You make 3 trips to the fridge and it’s the same crap in the fridge each time
14 Likes
You’re using your phone light to look for your phone
20 Likes