You should add that you shouldnt continue smoking or take care with that. Honestly mixing any mental health meds. Smoking weed and antipsychotics definitely do not mix. On top of that antidepressants or anything that acts on serotonin.
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My psychiatrist is great. He is just short on ideas… I will bring that up that possibility of anti psychotics, I have had them in the past but that was a long time ago. They may work better now.
Our family history shows one mental health disorder over 3 generations back. My great aunt had maybe bipolar disorder, but of course medicine in the 50s was not the same as now. Other than that and an old story of an (great, great, great) uncle who froze to death running away from an institution.
Pharmaceuticals are more affordable, because health insurance, but there are antipsychotic properties of CBN I’m tempted to lean to. But also, I do have a doctor. I could, you know, ask him what he thinks about it, but he is not MMJ knowledgeable, I’m not even sure he’s MMJ literate. And my family psychiatrist isn’t allowed to recommend anything like that as his practice deals mostly with kids. So they chose across the board to just not talk about pot, whatever. I talk with my doctor about my usage, he said he “likes where it’s going”. In other words, he’s glad it helps and is sorry he can’t recommend it.
And @PGT710 I look at it everyday as a problem, but realistically I’m much happier now than I was before. In regards to sleep specifically? I use to lay awake constantly but instantly started falling right asleep. This was partly in conjunction with the adamant effort to not use my bed to watch TV or read on my phone. Both helped, I don’t care who helped more. The dependency… I don’t like. I’ve strongly questioned marijuana during times like this, because it does make my thought more clouded… but then occasionally clearer. It’s a weird drug for me.
I’ve asked the shrink about the serotonin before I started MMJ, because honestly I hadn’t touched it until the age of 22, and only used it a dozen times in the following 2 years before getting my card. So I went from loaded on prescriptions to a bit less and lots of weed. He said it was likely, but since my records show little sign of any psychotic symptoms (although I do have auditory hallucinations) that it’s only a concern if something comes up.
The hallucinations, I’ve theorized, are more related to CPTSD than psychosis. They happened mostly when I was younger and only under extreme duress… now a days I have them on a low level (likely from the THC) where if it’s quiet, I might hear someone call my name in the white noise.
I’m far less concerned about drug interactions, that I have down fairly well. I’ve been taking these meds for almost a year now. I wouldn’t drop a single one- except the Xanax. Man do I hate that shit. Glad to be mostly off it aside from extreme episodes… That said, I do take kind of a lot of scripts. And most of them are to increase serotonin levels.
I didn’t expect people to be interested enough to want to read every little detail, so I try to tactfully leave bit out, but I’m an open book. Much love and appreciation all around.
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Yes… very much life. With any sort of impairment you are really forced to deal with the near futility of life. You do things right, or they aren’t correct. Very unforgiving but I believe nature always prevails… I know if I get to the other side of the tunnel I will live. But convincing myself of that wholeheartedly? Oof.
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Do not quit xanax cold turkey!
I got a bad time from quitting lexapro that fashion
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Fr dt’s can be severe and in some cases, deadly.
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Quit cold turkey can 100% kill you. That’s one of the reasons I hate it.
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I cut smoking out of my life for a year and went to a highly experienced sleep doctor to fix issues similar to yours. Currently, I’m back to smoking with improved sleep that isn’t perfect. But it has become manageable day by day without the feeling of sheer exhaustion experienced for YEARS. I’ve tried just about everything under the sun, so here are a few things that have really helped me. This is simply an anecdotal experience. I just want to help. I feel your pain.
Talk Therapy. I went to therapy for other reasons than sleep. But I realized that so many issues lead into bad sleep. The anxiety, depression, dependency, etc. It was nice to be able to talk about it and not feel like a crazy person for feeling that way. I didn’t feel like it helped automatically, but by resolving other issues, it has helped my overall sleep tremendously. Talking about your shitty sleep reveals a lot believe it or not. There’s a lot of anxiety directly related to your shitty sleep. A cycle.
Anti-depressants. I didn’t realize I had depression for almost 10 years after a cancer diagnosis. Once I started a regime, my sleep improved and gradually became somewhat stable in 1-2 months for the first time in almost a decade.
Strict sleep schedule. Pick a time you will be in bed every night and stick with it. Give up all ideas that there are other things left to do. Leave the phone outside your room.
Meditation before sleep. It took me 3-4 different tries over several years to be convinced that this works. For me, the breathing exercises work REALLY well before sleep. 3 deep breaths in and out, as simple as it sounds, can make you feel dramatically more relaxed. The Insight Timer app has thousands for free. My favorite is called “Fall Asleep in Presence” by John Siddique. You should go into these meditations with the idea that you are going to fall asleep by the end of it. So, get settled into bed, set your alarm and have your phone plugged in before starting the meditation.
Mindset. Change your expectations around sleep. When you wake up in the middle of the night, get up and move around. Don’t get upset that you’re awake early again, just go with it. If you’re super tired, accept that’s what you got that day and try to move on. Don’t let it rule your life. This will help let go of anxiety around sleep. There won’t be a perfect answer or edible to help you sleep amazing again. But you’re much closer by asking the questions that you already have. Be honest with yourself and keep with it.
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Shit man, you have a lot of on your back… Good thing you opened up, we might help you ease some of that… People here care… With that condition, each day is a fight, but it doesnt have to be a struggle… Wish the best for yourself, start with basics, sleep, eating, positive toughts… Take small but firm steps, break your barriers, dont let your diagnose define you, dont ever give up on yourself, you deserve all the best you can get, but youre only one who can give that to you… Its good you feel better than before, that can be seen as an acomplishment… Keep up the good score!
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I find it hard to sleep 6.5 in a row. Most times of late it has been about 4 hours. I get some naps sometimes but it is not the same. Need to get tired. I got some elastic bands and do so PT excercises I learned for my back. Some cardio warmups learned in cardio. Hard to get a walk in when it is 25 F outside with a 20 mph wind.
I find a regular wake time helps and that not smoking for the early part helps it do better for me. Less is more if moderated properly. I try to avoid any cannabis before bedtime. So I wind up taking my meds about 8 or so and by 10 I am usually asleep…except it is basketball season 
Edit: was prescribed Xanax …glad I never took any
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I’m not a doctor, but most doctors these days won’t tell you the truth anyway. They’d rather get a kickback for prescribing you something big pharma cheated or used loopholes to work the system to get through FDA approval. Or they believe only what they’ve been taught, which is not an issue - that’s how most people live life.
After working with the IRB at a university, my partner convinced me you should never trust clinical “double blind, placebo-controlled” research of new for-profit drugs. The key is for-profit. Drug companies sponsor phase 3 research at dozens of universities for new drugs, and then only present the positive outcomes to the FDA for approval review. My friends in medical school and already practicing have confirmed this.
As a result, I wouldn’t trust almost any prescription or over-the-counter medication, but that’s just me, especially knowing how ineffective almost all the shrink pills are compared to placebo. Obviously this is not good advice according to the medical establishment, but look at the ballooning mental health and medical health issues hitting the world, even as science and medicine “advance.” We’re actually going backwards from every perspective IMHO except palliative care (extending people’s lives when they have serious health issues, but not increasing their quality of life over those years).
What’s being practiced as medicine is so against the hippocratic oath (which is no longer taken by docs) that it should be criminal to call it medicine, yet the medical establishment has been coopted by money and is now about treating symptoms, not causes. And the treatments are almost exclusively pills you have to take forever after a diagnosis, hence the profit motive.
The answer to almost all health issue is so simple it’s ridiculous that they won’t tell you this or prescribe it in this country (yet they do in many other countries around the world). Diet and exercise and breathwork and quiet time out in nature cure almost everything, physical or mental. If there’s anything those don’t cure, a heavy trip on mushrooms every 3-6mo will. Fuck the pills.
If you’re literally at your wits end and finding it hard to keep on trucking, it’s time to stop fucking around and actually take matters into your own hands. You have plenty to live for, especially being so young.
First, cook everything you eat from scratch, try to choose organic where possible and affordable. Don’t eat crap and don’t cheat. It’s pretty simple, but I cannot stress this enough. It’s more important than all the rest. Eat mostly veggies, some but not a whole lot of breads or rice or meats or cheeses. Buy ingredients. Cook them. If you can’t cook, watch some youtube or get a “for dummies” cookbook from the library.
Second, stop smoking cigs and/or weed and quit drinking booze or caffeine. Give yourself a reset. And don’t go back to nicotine. It’s insidious. Booze is as well.
Third, stop living life on the computer and/or the TV. It’s good for giving people generalized anxiety. Especially when there’s literally nothing else to do.
Fourth, there is actually something else to do, believe it or not. Read a book. Or listen to them in audiobook form. Library cards are free, and nowadays they give you audiobooks and ereader tablets for free. Go out in nature alone or with your pup, but do so quietly. It may require a bit of a drive, but it’s always worth it.
Fifth, and this ties in with the other stuff, but exercise exercise exercise. Find whatever works for you, but just fucking do something and do a LOT of it, so that you’re tired every day all the time. Like puppies and kids, exhaustion results in good behavior, both physical and mental and emotional.
Lastly, breathwork. Breathe through your nose. Listen to or read the book Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor. It’s life-changing. There’s all sorts of legit science about curing asthma with specific breathwork and techniques.
Again, I’m not a doctor, so this is bad advise by their yardsticks. But more and more people are curing themselves after failing to find any relief or even answers from docs.
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Whew, can I like that twice?
I… just agree with everything you said. Lol. I have realized just these last few minutes how much of a toll this has been on me. I just talked to my mom non-stop about these things.
How I haven’t been open enough about what I feel. I never lie or hide the things, but honestly dealing with it from such a young age it’s taken outside intervention for me to understand my own brain. I had a self awakening moths ago, and everything clicked. I started sleeping better, being more productive. I started more weed at the same time, sort of unfortunately. Now in my mind the two have linked, and that link may be only coincidental. Breaking the association of relief and any given medication is important- I had to give my bong up because literally I would hold it for comfort.
Talking about it certainly does something; I don’t know if I makes it better. Sometimes just louder. But asking for help can never do you wrong.
I think I have decided a New Years resolution. Just learn to live independently of the pot. I’m about to send some plants into flower, so once they are ready I should have reset my tolerance. I have no excuse- I’ve started just telling people so I’m forced to be accountable. We’ll see.
I would say that is not the end of the conversation though. I have always struggled with sleep. Principally just being alone at the end of the day. That solitude and complete stillness terrified me for some reason. Perhaps is just memories of all those nights I couldn’t sleep. Honestly if I was healthier physically, I’d love to just go spend a month in the wild. Not necessarily alone, I don’t know how long Id survive, but just focus on what’s important. Not things like how will I afford this or that, but living. Humans are made to do and keep alive. My dog doesn’t worry about the bills. She does have anxiety as well, funny enough though…
I don’t know why I don’t mention; breathe control is my core coping mechanism. I discovered it through meditation, actually the only part of it that took.
I think, what I’ve realized, is I have been fundamentally wrong for a while. I trusted others to fix it. I always ask questions but an appointment is only so long and… yeah American pharmaceuticals kind of ruined my trust in modern medicine.
Now… I’m going to put my damn phone down and think for bit. Much love appreciation to all, it honestly helps to just hear I’m not full of shit sometimes. I don’t have a lot of people on my side in life, and thats partly my fault for not reaching out. But yeah… thanks everyone. And if you haven’t responded yet, rest assured I’m anxious to read your posts; just need to take some advice for a few hour.
@nube I will say, we share an unpopular opinion. I love technology but it’s hurting kids. I see what it did to me, what it does to me. Now I work in schools and see what it does now to these kids… accountability and responsibility. Teach your kids that. Teach them to know what’s good for them. Otherwise they’ll learn it somewhere, and the methods may not justify the means.
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As we get older we sleep less. I don’t know your age, but I’ll be 59 in May, and I never sleep more than 8 hours a night, and that’s rare. It’s usually 5-6. It’s kinda weird, but I seem to have developed an internal alarm clock, and it goes off between 5:30 and 6, no matter what.
This next bit is purely anecdotal, but a few months ago I made some dry ice hash with some White Widow I grew. As I was cleaning up, I grabbed a handful of the shake, and it was kinda sticky, so I kept it.
Last week I made some butter out of it. My normal recipe calls for 1oz per lb of butter. I normally make a 2lb batch, but this time I increased the amount by half, from 2 to 3oz, and de-carbed at 250 for 30 minutes.
It doesn’t get you “high” really, but it seems to have a much more narcotic effect. My wife has trouble sleeping, and normally when she eats a cookie, she gets really high, and eventually gets sleepy. She ate one of these, and said she never felt high, but it put her out for several hours. Some nights she’s been able to sleep straight through.
As I say, it’s purely anecdotal, and I don’t know enough chemistry to even hazard a guess as to what’s actually going on, but I thought I’d share it. I’d be interested in hearing any theories about it.
Every day I drink 2 milk chocolate Ensures for breakfast. I chase my pills down with them, been doing that for 7-8 years now. You can chug one in about 5 seconds. They’ve got a good dose of protein, vitamins, minerals, and they taste remarkably good. They aren’t chalky like most things of that sort.
They’re kinda pricey, a case of 24 is $35 at Sam’s, but If you’ve never tried them, I’d encourage you to check them out. They’re formulated specifically for people who aren’t able to eat enough, due to chemo, or other medical issues, and incidentally for lazy motherfuckers like me that don’t like to cook in the morning. 
I’ve been in a knife fight with depression for the last few years, and THAT really sucks, so I feel for you man.
Godspeed. 
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Hey CD,
Sorry to read about the sleep issues. A couple things:
Do not give up on the melatonin, for me I can take it for about three days before building up a tolerance but the tolerance disappears in a couple days so - on for two days, off for one day and you will get some benefit.
The big one in my wife’s family is sleep apnea. Do you snore?? If so, a sleep clinic can diagnose that. A CPAP machine might be the solution.
If you are looking for a CBD plant. I have some S1 photoperiod and tested of at 20% I can fix you up with.
Cheers
G
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Wow that’s a lot to take in. I can’t read in detail everything already said, but the physical activity part plays a huge role in mental state too. The endorphins released and energy spent in a activity you enjoy have huge benefits. What part of the country are you in?
I recommend taking up ice fishing 
. If you use a hand auger you’ll have all the exercise you can handle for the day 
. Plus it’s a day out like camping/picnic, just dress warm. I enjoy it alone as much as with friends.
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you can try yoga for relax and breathing practices are good.
But i have astrong high from it and not practice.
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When I suggest that, people often don’t take this option seriously. I know three people whose lives have been changed by this routine. Anxiety, depression … and everything they bring … See the Wim Hof method. There are interesting videos as some introduction to the topic. And it also helps with asthma
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Well, I do have to say I’m sad to admit I only managed half an hour to myself, but it’s something. And it gave me a second to read a few posts at a time.
@Guitarzan I’m far from old enough to qualify at 25. I myself have two a day, when I think of it is the problem… considering the reality of a eating disorder, I’ve started more or less to reject food. Everything is gross, the idea of eating makes me nauseous. This is not normal! Ugh, add it to the list. It is one thing I worry about. I eat maybe 1k calories a day, which is down from maybe 3k a day one or two years ago, when I was more or less physically healthy. I am quite glad for the shakes, I would only eat one small meal without them.
@Gpaw I will give it another try; it’s been a long time so it may work better… all else failing I seem to remember melatonin and a really heady high being related. So if it doesn’t help me sleep I can use it in later days for, uh, science. SLEEP disorders. Fuck I am painfully dumb sometimes… Extensive sleep apnea in our family. Largely complications from weight. I myself do not snore, although I am sleeping like a bear most nights… very deep sleeper when I am sleeping. I wouldn’t notice any snoring. No complaints from either of the other housemates. But that’s actually good to keep in mind. I do have a handful of CBD, which in retrospect, probably should started first as I REALLY want some affordable CBD to play with. Live and learn, they’re next up. 20% is impressive though… might have to chat with you on that later once I start trading.
@Seamonkey84 It’s really a whole lot yes! I hadn’t even realized fully. I live on the Wisconsin/Illinois state line, so ice fishing isn’t out of place. I myself never grew to love fishing, don’t eat fish myself. I don’t mind sitting and drinking, but if I actually catch something? Ah, fuck all that, I don’t even bait the hook. My favorite meaningless labor is digging. I have what I want to be a garden bed, but is currently clay with grass on top. So every so often I pick at that.
As far as breathing and yoga… I have trouble fully buying into 90% of the literature. Yes: moving your body and controlling your breathe are great. Aligning your energy or such… I’ll just say there is no evidence. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Win Hof is a good example just based on a quick Google- enduring extremely low temperature, ie extreme pain, that is the power of self control. Breathing is easily my number one. You can always control your breathe (well, except for asthma) no matter where you are or what’s happening.
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Neither do I! I learned to ice fish from a frend just about 7 years ago, I release just about everything. Digging holes, I drill holes in the ice does that count 
. If it wasn’t for the COVID thing you could just hang out with friends while waiting for a flag.
Sorry, I’m amped up for the ice to form here 
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last days i eat no more 500 calories in a day and i am ok, it’s winter time. i can’t bring myself to go to the store. it’s not ok. You just need buy what.you really want need just a walk and hunt.
FTry to heal yourself by all stuff what you know and keep it try.
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Lol you see? People here are one of the best community ive seen, well, ever… Im glad this helped you… Wish you the best…
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