Dementia in Loved One

My fella is in the hospital. For 5 years or better, he has really been a roller coaster of volatile, impulsive, destructive and sometimes dangerous behavior.

He has become very destructive in the home, in a near constant state if irritability, compulsion, rage. His moments of sweetness are fewer and of shorter duration.

His episodes involve horrid, vile verbal abuse, intense volume, racing changes if topic, and body movement that puts him at risk. He has lost all empathy. Communication, a conversation is no longer a thing.

Cannabis has been such a gift for him. 30 seconds flat after a puff on his vaporizer, and he is smiling, ready for a walk or an outing at the gym.

He has MS, and has had some truly terrible brain injuries that could have killed him. His depression is major, he has PTSD.

I recently had to leave the home with my dog to live in the car for a spell. This man who at one time never had a harsh word for me, had his fist cocked and ready for my face. His face was not his face. His eyes were dead. I was just sitting on the couch, cooling off, with plans for a fruit salad.

He trashed the home and the furniture. While I was gone. He threw many belongings in the trash and gave some to neighbors, including one of his favorite varieties of cannabis.

B has dementia, and I am waiting to hear more. After years of begging for help to find an answer and help for his behavior, we are finally getting it. That’s with specifically requesting evaluation for dementias!

Looking here, most posts I find mentioning dementia are older. I have had a few days with no sleep, and I ask for your help in suggestions of varieties, especially Sativa/Sativa dominant varieties that are staples for use with your loved ones.

I’m not so much concerned with pain relief, as ‘go fast’, and the mental effects. He used to have a big, big love for acid, and a yen for Plastodil (?), if any of you can relate or know what that second drug is. If I can contribute to any happiness …

I was thinking hard on Fleur du Mal’s goods. A rippy Sativa puts a smile on him, gets him active, talking more, and annoying me in much better ways.

I would be grateful for your non cannabis suggestions, as well. I am in the weeds as this time of storm and stress has been years, and the intensity of most recent months has me worn to a nub. I am literally sick and tired, relieved he is gone, but I want to grow more plants, as soon as the hot weather breaks.


dark web :dromedary_camel:


Hi @Dej, sorry to hear about your situation. Both my wife and I have had loved ones with dementia/alzheimers, but none as close as you and “B”. I don’t have any experience with cannabis and dementia, but if you point me in the direction of some things you’d like to try, I’d be happy to help with seeds.


Feel for you. Shrooms can do wonders for people.


Lions mane mushrooms amazing for dimentia


My heart goes out to you @Dej, my dad has advanced Parkinson’s and dementia. Sending you good vibes and positivity.


Thank you. I’m very grateful.


I am extremely interested. I thought about ordering a grow kit to get started, just to reduce my load. I know nothing about them, except I tried them once, and it was bliss.
Is there a company you would recommend? I see Midwest Growers mentioned quite a bit. Thank you for suggestion.


Is Lions Mane a psychedelic?


I’m not sure I’d actually give him acid in the condition he’s in. I’ll fish about and see how folks with dementia do on acid and what kind. I’ll ask B too.

I only heard about the Dark Web, this year! I reckon I’ll have to take a gander.


You should talk to @sct2020 . he is the man all things mush.


I just looked this up. I will grow the Lions Mane. Thank you.


My grandmother was unfortunate enough to go through terminal bone cancer (she survived breast cancer 4 times). She was relatively sweet and just generally confused most of the time, but towards the end she broke her arm somehow. She was immediately so oppositional and angry. She wouldn’t take comfort from anyone but my grandfather. I stayed with them her last week, but she wasn’t herself any of that time.

I wish I could offer help, other than don’t let your emotions guide your choices. Do what’s best for the both of you, not what’s easy on the heart. I’m watching my other grandmother now, we think, beginning to show signs. She’s bound to a wheelchair otherwise she would likely have show more signs like wandering, getting lost… but she has these wild moments where she’ll be freaking out over weird little things. She darts between planning a garage sale to begging for someone to kill her. Someone made an inquiry at a nursing home, and she had a 6 hour melt down on how we’re trying to get rid of her. She won’t let anyone stay over and help them, she’s killing my 82 year old grandfather helping her. She would benefit so much from cannabis it’s funny- but she’s only just coming around to ME using it for MY medical condition. She would rather die than do drugs.

My heart goes to you. It’s a very close topic to me at this time- I can’t imagine it being someone closer.

I use to take Lion’s mane for my memory, and I did actually notice a small benefit. It stopped working after a while though, fwiw.


I’m sorry for your pain and suffering. I’m sending good vibes your way Dej! :slight_smile:


Lion’s mane may actually help, and it’s very easy to grow. There are many organic grow kits out there where you can grow 2 or 3 rounds of it pretty cheaply. After harvesting it, dry it in a dehydrator (or in a paper bag if you’re in the desert) until it’s cracker dry, then grind it into a coarse powder and soak 1lb of the powder in 1/2gallon vodka.

After 1mo of daily 10seconds shaking, filter it thru a fine mesh strainer or nylon nut milk bag (cheesecloth won’t work, not fine enough), pressing out and saving all the vodka in a bowl. You’ll get about 1/2 gallon maybe a bit less. Some sediment is ok, but try to not leave too much in or it’s gritty and clumpy. The vodka has just extracted half of the active ingredients that regrow nerves in the brain.

Save the mushy mushroom powder and immediately put it and 3/4 gallon cold water in your crock pot and put it on low or warm for 8hrs, stirring a few times, and letting it cool with the lid on until the next morning. Then strain that into a bowl, pressing out and saving all the water. You’ll get around 1/2gal, maybe slightly more. Again, some sediment is ok, but try to not leave too much in or it’s gritty.

The water extraction has the other half of the extremely healthy compounds in it, mostly immune system boosters that also reduce inflammation. Combine with the vodka in a larger container, store in fridge, filling up a smaller dropper or container so you can measure out about 1 tablespoon in coffee or tea, twice daily.

You’ve just made about $1000 worth of high quality dual extraction organic lion’s mane tincture. It really does work, but more is not better. It’s 20% alcohol (to keep sterile) and is very potent stuff. It is not psychedelic but it noticeably improves memory, recall, and mood swings.

I wish you all the best on your journey. Don’t forget that the hospital or care facility is probably the eventual outcome, and there’s no shame in that. So don’t be afraid to throw in the towel when it gets out of control again. My grandpa had dementia the last few years of his 93 years and, with care, it wasn’t all bad. It was actually kind of sad but also joyful to see him turn back into the child he was during early 20th century, back before cars and electricity were widespread. It’s like he relived all his best and worst childhood memories in all their exstacy and agony as they slipped out of his grasp, lost to the inky black ether. He alternated between thinking I was his older brother and one of his childhood pals, and I was happy just to be able to be there with him thru it all. :slight_smile:


I’m so sorry to hear both you and him are going through all of that.

My parents had custody of me taken away by the state so it was my grandparents who took on the task of raising me when I was three years old. There was quite a bit of an age difference between my grandparents, so my grandfather was already in retirement when they took custody. He was a very sharp WWII veteran who could recount many details of his experience in the war and was always quick to joke with all my friends. Everyone loved him and for his age he was in exceptional physical condition. Into his early 80’s he’d be out in the yard cutting up a tree, working in the garden, or in his woodshop building birdhouses or some other craft project.

Around the time of my early 20’s (he was in his late 80’s) he bagan to show the early signs of dementia which rapidly progressed. First began the loss of short-term memory. He started to misplace things and started accusing either me or one of my friends of stealing them, which wasn’t like him at all. Towards the evening and into the night he became very disoriented and confused (a condition called sundowners) and would become argumentative and verbally agressive, while trying to resist the care we had to give. Again, completely unlike him. He accused my grandmother of intentionally keeping his pain medication from him minutes after taking it and forgetting completely that it had happened. At one point while I wasn’t there he took off thinking that I had left and he would never see me again, and tried looking for me. My grandmother found him in the field behind the house, luckily he was safe.

Caring for him became an around the clock task and my grandmother was looking at having to place him in a skilled care facility, which ultimately would have led to her having to sell her home to pay for it. I decided to drop out of college and quite my job so we could both care for him at home while taking different shifts. I suffer from a few sleep disorders so I took advantage of this to cover the night shift while my grandma slept. One night I heard the clank of his walker in the bathroom and immediately rushed in there to assist him. Somehow he got up without me hearing him (I was in the room right beside his) and managed to squeeze his walker in the tiny bathroom space. The second I got in there he fell over his walker and I caught him. I supported him and allowed him to lean on my shoulder while he urinated all over me.

He was placed on Hospice, which I will say provided us with much help and relief. It’s an awesome organization really, and the nurse we had was a total angel. It must really take a special type of person to do the type of work she had to do and maintain her sense of compassion and empathy. One night his temperature shot up and he began breathing heavily while his heart raced. I woke my grandmother up and we called the nurse. Upon arrival she said he was close and we waited with her. He passed while I was holding his hand and to this day is one of the most surreal things I’ve experienced. I had lost my dad when I was 15 to cirrhosis of the liver brought on by hepatitis C and heavy alcohol use, so I had felt like I had lost two dads.

Since then my sleep disorders have become much worse and have become very crippling. The only thing that helps manage them is indica cannabis. I first hand can attest that this is a life-saving plant. Keeping it from someone who is ill is not just politically incorrect, it’s evil.

I have a few varieties/strains that might help B feel better if you’re up to growing them. PLEASE don’t hesitate to reach out to me for them, and that goes for anyone else here in need as well. Be kind to yourself. Being a caretaker is both mentally and physically exhausting and can sometimes bring the worst out in us. If you need anything at all please feel free to reach out to me.


That’s would not be a good idea from what you have said all ready.


Microdosing could have great benefit.

Enough for the effects, but not enough to be full blown high as a kite.


Sorry it took me so long to get back to you bro I feel your pain no Lions man is not psychedelic and @nube gave great instructions on how to make the extract you should definitely give it a try


Kind of a hard subject and I am very against anyone being dosed without their consent, but this may be a case where it’s justified and beneficial. Some infused coconut oil in lower doses that could be just added to any drink or food could be the trick. It’s a moral quandary for sure but if it would ultimately help her it’s one worth thought. Even CBD hemp infused oil instead might show the benefits without getting her high.


This sounds so much like my B. It started almost as soon as we married. Things have worsened fast. I started reporting things to his doctors and specialists, more doctors and specialists.

It was attributed to MS mood issues, cognitive distinction, depression and PTSD.

His neuro recently attributed his issues to his personality. THAT had me a little peeved.

B only had kind words and tender ways with me. To see and experience such changes in who someone is, to see someone lose who and what they are, is tragic.

Then there is the human part of me who, not understanding, really took things personally. I just tried to be forgiving and patient. I kept trying to find doctors and resources for him. All the time, his temper was worsening, his behavior, his unreasonableness.

I let depression get the better of me and forgot about my own medical needs, self care. I gave up on me. I can look back aways and I can see how a partner or family member can be consumed by the needs of another to the point where they may be suffering ill health effects.

I have been coming around a bit, here lately. It may be that B needs an extended stay to stabilize, if it can be done. It may be that he could be safer and more stable, or even happier in a facility. I’m good with what will comfort him. That will only allow me to be a better friend to him.

I have had my heart broken, before. Even a few times. Nothing has compared to this. And it’s been on repeat.

Thank you for telling what you have. I am grateful because it just opens my eyes a little more to what a couple of neighbors have suggested to me. I just kept thinking I could somehow do enough, or get through the moment.