one time me n my twin promised this kid that a penny we had would buy him anything in the world for his wallet that had a dollar in it. we got his wallet and dollar.
like 5 years later we asked him “did you get anything good with that penny” kid was dead serious and said his mom bought him a scooter with it. his mom had to have felt so bad LOL not the proudest moment of my life but funny imo lol
Ok @CADMAN wife I have a story for you…I was home, smoking a few phatties, drinking some whiskey and eating deep and delicious cake. Back and forth to the fridge eating cake, drinking, smoking getting pretty faded.
Those of you who have eaten mcain deep and delicious know if you don’t close the lid right you can catch a piece of the cake on the lid and it dries to make a nice little bit of cake jerky. Well on one of my trips to the fridge I spotted a piece of delicious, dried, floor cake…keep in mind very high and drunk…popped that cake in my mouth…instant regret…it’s gritty…it’s cat shit. Don’t eat floor cake kids.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn’t the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, “Looks like you blew a seal.” “No,” the penguin insists, “it’s just ice cream.”
I’m UK but I wanna join in the fun 
I used to go to a bar (well, one of them) and thought the one waitress was kind of cute. Mind you, I did get to know a few of the others and some bartenders but that is another story. Anyway, time went on and this one no longer worked there (can’t really remember what happened, did they close for a time? No idea but I was going to other bars in the area) and ran into her somewhere. Somehow ended up helping her move along with a few more people. She moved in with two others in an apartment (she got evicted from her place because of her room mate) and it really should not have had three people in it, kind of crowded. Instead of breaking out some drinks there, I suggested going to my place, so a bunch of us went there.
Sunday night, most cleared out at a reasonable time but a few hung on until there was her, another guy and myself. I said I needed to go to sleep because I had to get up the next day for work. After a while I hear someone enter my room, next thing I knew she slipped into bed with me. Well, I am a light sleeper, a pretty little lass slips into bed with me, heck, I AM UP.
Anyway, we got to know each other better. Seems she went to crash on one couch and the guy would sit beside her and talk. She went to another room and he went and sat beside her and talked. Then she thought (hey, she had enough to drink by this time) that I was passed out, that she will slip in beside me and will be out before I woke in the morning. At least that is what she told me.
So after I went to work the next day I came home and on the night table there was a note, come see her at the bar after her shift. So I caught a few drinks with her, we ended up back at my place, went on the same way for a couple of days, OK weeks.
While visiting my parents they mentioned I had a girl there (this was a couple months after I asked one that was staying with me to leave), who was she. (They were not happy about the other one, “Could you not find a nice one of our nationality?”). Here I am happily telling them, yes she is of the same stock as us (like it should really mater). Anyway, I told them her name, Lynn. “What is her last name?”
Shit, I got to know this waitress in a bar, you don’t ask them their last name like you will be bringing them home to meet mother. How the hell would I know her last name?
Needless to say they were not impressed. They never did mention it afterward, I am sure they discussed ‘your’ boy with some tart working in a bar staying with him. Mind you, she was gone in three or four months. But that is another story.
Hi!!!I’m here bro. Lol I got some stories to tell but type like a sloth! 
I’m in if that’s ok lol
Oh shit! you want ‘stories’?
Or just a good laugh? if that’s all I can post my pic for ya!
So every night when I come home from work as a school administrator I lean my leather bag against the wall, it is fat and overflowing with papers and books. One day my youngest son, he is like 9 at the time asks me, “why do your bring all that work home”, I tell him its because I can’t always get all my paperwork done at school. So he says, "Hey dad why don’t you talk to your boss and ask if you can be moved to a slower group!
Go get’em everyone! Really nice giveaway @CADMAN !!!
So this one time at band camp…
I’m only interested if the weed is that loud loud 
Anyone else feel like getting toasted?
Damn I forgot what I came here for 
Yes , Click here
lol @CADMAN - i think its a loosing battle trying to get them to the other thread
I got very stoned when I was 15 and was heavy on the cotton mouth, I thought well im going to rinse and brush my teeth, well the listerine was good. But the toothpaste, turned my face sour. Heh it was preparation h. Never going to live that down, funny I think so.
Thanks @Northern_Loki you can enter too if you like.
Not many people looking to snag a swag bag I see.
The night is young.
One of these Swag Bags are going into my Secert Santa gift box…
