I think it’s called Rumspringa… less candy and more binge drinking, though. 
The drive-bys come after the drinking, and the occasional barn de-roofing when they’re feeling especially frisky. So I hear, anyway. I have never participated in any actual barn de-roofings, though I did spend a few months in Lancaster Valley during my disreputable youth…
2 Likes
Pitchforks and lanterns coming from the back fields …
Hell yeah was deff a slave back then when I was a child …but made me the man I am today
Hell they don’t mess around man I seen em build a two story barn and a silo in a day … yeah maybe they had twenty men …
That’s the thing holds one stick snaps it …strong …holds many sticks in hand …try’s un breakable
1 Like
Definitely a strong work ethic, yep. And it probably comes from having their parents treat them kinda like farm hands as kids, go figure. 
Thus, also, the need to rebel a little and run around acting crazy.
1 Like
Dude I see a lot here swear midget omish with a little buggy and a half horse …
1 Like
Damn I wish I saw last nights show in Vegas… Phish outdid themselves this year… On Halloween they cover some other bands album, in its entirety, calling it a musical costume. In the past they have done the Beatles White Album, and Loaded from Velvet Revolver amongst others… Well, this year they INVENTED a band… From phish.net about last nights show:
“For the second set, the band’s “musical costume” was all debuted originals, performed as the invented band Sci-Fi Soldier (a 14-page comic book distributed upon entry detailed the group’s adventure to save the planet). For that set, the band performed in elaborate costumes (helmets and all), with alternate instruments, each playing within a flashing/glowing shape (two circles and two squares), after descending (in the form of holograms) from the ceiling in cylinders of colored light. Knuckle Bone Broth Avenue included extended choreography by Trey and Mike. During Get More Down, matching upright geometric shapes danced around behind the band, reducing to the two circles overlapped by Egg in a Hole, which featured pyrotechnics. Before Clear Your Mind, Trey introduced the band as from the year 4680 (the total of the October 28, 2021 songs as noted during that night’s encore-ending Grind). During The 9th Cube, there were projections of donuts and turtles on a cube above the band. Fireworks rained down on the stage during The Inner Reaches of Outer. For I Am in Miami, Trey switched to an acoustic guitar and the band stood together at stage front with the four-mic a cappella setup. After the set, the band departed as holograms back up the colored tubes. The start of Harry Hood included alternate lyrics (Holy Blankenstein). Soul Planet contained Knuckle Bone Broth Avenue and Don’t Doubt Me quotes.”
Holograms and Pyrotechnics? All new material? WHY WASNT I THERE!!! Chris Kuroda (their lighting guy) has really taken things to a whole new level… I’ll take second tier dead center over front row any day, thats the best seat to enjoy the insane light show. You guys can bust my chops all you want, but I have seen several hundred concerts spanning all genres, and the ONE band that is truly in sync with their fans is Phish. Sure doesn’t hurt that they actually cruise the lots before a show in golf carts and actually talk with phans… Met every single band member this way (and in Worcester '98 got em all stoned at an after party, including key people in Phistory, The Dude of Life (lyricist), Tom Marshall (lyricist), Paul Languedoc (guitar tech) and Chris Kuroda (lights).) Wow. this year marks TWENTY FIVE years of seeing them for me (my first show was in '96). I do find it funny and interesting that younger, newer phans give reverence to us old fucks… When they hear I was at the early festivals like Clifford Ball, Great Went, The Lemonwheel and IT they revere me as a god it seems. Mad respect given. Its pretty fricken cool, and I can only relate it to someone seeing the Dead in 1973 or someone having been to the original Woodstock (I went to Woodstock 94, not quite the same).
Little insight into the musical mind of yours truly 
2 Likes
Not into dudes but if I were I could do much better 
I yawned while reading it 
Child slave labor is the only reason I would entertain having kids. I would say also so they could look after me in my golden years but who am I kidding? After all the work they’re going to be doing as kids they’d resent me way too much to help me voluntarily.
4 Likes
That would be a great plan if children didn’t cost more than hiring people to do the work for you in the first place. They’re not going to feed and clothe themselves, they’re going to get hurt and you’re going to have to pay the doctor’s bills, they’re going to want the same new shiny toys as the kids down the street… if you’re thinking of kids as a retirement plan, you’re probably better off investing more in Big Digital.
2 Likes
How much do burlap sacks cost these days? And toys? If they have time to play I’ll find more work for them.
I’ll have them digging and filling in the same hole all day just to keep them used to working if I run out of actual work!
2 Likes
One Word for ya…
Dog
But they STILL cost money, just not as much as a kid… And DYFS doesn’t get called if ya lock em in a cage 
2 Likes
If you’re going animal get a monkey. You need something with opposable thumbs to rake/dig/mow/strangle your enemies/pull weeds.
1 Like
Yeah, dogs are great but I’m not sure I’d get one to do work around the house for me, unless I really really wanted my house destroyed. Then again, maybe that was more about my ex’s dogs being trained totally bass-ackwards. And they definitely do cost money if you want to keep them around, last year one of hers got congestive heart failure. Other than six-figure experimental surgeries with low success rates, the “best” option was to spend another $60 a month on medication for him, or just let him die.
Monkeys would be able to do chores better, yeah, but they’re even harder to train than kids… well, maybe about the same. On the other hand, a monkey can run around naked and people are still going to be distracted by how adorable he is, until he steals their wallets… actually, maybe a monkey’s not a bad idea for a backup retirement plan, now that I think about it.
2 Likes
And they fling poop… Can they be trained to fling poop at your enemies? hmmm…
Hey @Slick1 I think Phish was channelling you last night with their made up band, Sci Fi Soldier… The amount of work that went into this last night must be nuts… Made up a comic book, a band an album and did a whole set. If you couldn’t laugh at this and have fun there, I dunno man… All I know is this band is dedicated to the phans… Opener from last nights musical costume set (video from the show):
1 Like
Kids do cost more than all heck, lol.
But that’s why I put hammers in their hands at 8 yrs old and tossed em onto jobsites. They paid their own way from then on!
I wish that anyways lol
Actually they wanted to come out on the jobs with me, I let them come and they actually did become helpful as time went by lol
They all 3 served a full carpentry apprenticeship under me. And as each one turned 18, they became the youngest state licensed specialty contractors ever
My master Craftsman papers are on file in the capital, as are all of their Apprenticeship papers lol That’s how they were able to serve apprentice under me, only Master Craftsman can train/take on apprentice
edit… lol but, looking back at that era with an objective eye, they actually were 'child slaves;!! sorta lol 
Only diff was they got paid nice
5 Likes
See? This guy gets it! 
Why? Did it end in ritual group suicide thus sparing the world of their music once and for all?
1 Like
I hated Phish at one time too… But I evolved And I mean I REALLY hated them. My sister would play Sparkle and Bouncing Around The Room on REPEAT. I can appreciate those tunes now as they are the hallmark of a great show, but on repeat, I hated em! My first Phish show was because my friends weren’t gonna go to Bethel with me. So… Bethel alone, or Clifford Ball with the crew we did festivals with. Phish won out, and their first set converted me…
2 Likes
I have never gotten so high that Phish was remotely listenable to me, and I’ve been super high before.
1 Like
They can! The tough part is training them not to fling it at you, I suspect!
Interesting, I’m just not sure I get it… decent, catchy tune that’s still nice and relaxed though. As far as the rest, it just kinda has me wondering why the weird costumes and where the Pink Ranger is. Then again, if you’re a big enough fan that you’ve read the comic book and know the backstory maybe this is very cool. Dunno, I don’t hate it but I don’t love it.
Granted, I’ve already had a cookie… I don’t see what’s so terrible, or so great, about them. Sorry, I think this is another Taylor Ham/Pork Roll argument.
1 Like
I just learned that they call themselves “phans”. I would use a different letter at the end of that than N…
Not really. One is about trolling and the other is a serious lack of taste
1 Like