Thats what you have us for! I know its not the same 
But its good none the less…
I do understand the sentiment though. I lost both my parents by the time I was 34… That also brings anger with it, wishing they were here to share the moments my friends parents are sharing with their families… Its not their fault they arent here, and the anger helps nobody, but its there 
Like I had something precious stolen that can never be replaced…
I’m so thankful I found this site when I did too, or I think I would be out of my mind crazy, headed for a straight jacket! No joke!
This community has done a lot for me in so many ways, and I couldn’t be more grateful to all the wonderful and kind folks I’ve met here, and hope to continue meeting.
I understand and can empathize with your anger, I’ve run through the range of emotions, because I had to stay pretty stoic throughout the MAiD process for her sake.
I think there’s some PTSD too from watching that process go down, I imagine it’s a different experience for everyone. I’m in a group counselling situation to deal with that, with others who’ve experienced loss through the MAiD initiative.
I thank you personally too, this is not the first time you’ve responded to me about this.
I appreciate you very much. I thank you for your time and concern and camaraderie as well.
I asked my mom about it losing her parents and she didn’t say it diminished that much but she said the first year is the worst pain you’ll feel and if you can get through that you can get through anything. I’m so sorry this happened. My cousin just went to the doc was hurling etc not feeling good and they told her there is a thing on both of her lungs. They are checking it out could be something benign could be something bad. She smoked the cigs a long time. One of my favorite cousins trying to be fatalistic about it but she had a rough life and it was finally going well. Hopefully it’s a polyp and I’m over reacting but I’ve been reading a lot of american lung association things and they are not positive. Hopefully we’ll all be fine.
Got my results back a couple weeks ago. Testosterone was the low end of normal. So I’m trying meds. I’m on welbutrin. Gonna try it for a month and see what happens.
I’ve been doing a lot of ketamine lately, along with some other disso’s, and it’s seemingly helping. Doing 20 trips over 40 days. Another 2 weeks and then I’ll be done with em. After that I’m supposed to do a trip once every 3 weeks, should I feel the need to do any more I’ll likely be dosing mushrooms in the meantime.
Mushrooms never got me to where ketamine&co are getting me now though. That level of dissociation was apparently needed to let me see some things in a more detached way, and through reliving past experiences in those states I’m currently finding it easier to let go of the negative results of those experiences.
I’m not there yet and won’t be for a while, but it seems, for the first time in years, I’m actually making progress.
I’m starting to accept and actually believe that I am loved, for instance, where before I knew with my conscious mind that I was loved, but I never really believed it on a subconscious level, at least not for most relationships in my life.
Yesterday my mom told me my godmother is receiving infusions of Ketanest as a pain management option as of late. Too soon to tell if it’s doing her any good but it feels promising that these things are now a possibility in the eyes of the medical and legal world.
Yes; actually sitting in group therapy right now.
How do you feel about group therapy?
I was very hesitant at first, but I’ve found it helpful to both find community every week, and speaking openly with those who may be in the same situation or similar to mine. It’s also nice to not only see your own progress, but that of others, feeling good for their wins and growth as well. Thanks for asking.
Yeah, it’s good to know that others feel the same way and that you’re not a freak.
Yes thats definitely a benefit, but for me as an empath, seeing others progress is very helpful for me too.
That’s one of the problems with being an empath, you can get overloaded with other people’s emotional problems, and one of the reasons why I stopped being a psychotherapist.
I also pick up other peoples pysical, as well as emotional pain. How do you find it going into museums, I will get bad headaches and other symptoms after about 10 minutes in some museums from the energy attached to the displays.
Some historical buildings affect me as well if they have had a lot of negative stuff happening in them.
That’s interesting. I don’t think that I have experienced that in those types of locales, or atleast not been aware of it. I will be hyper aware next time I’m in a location like that and see what the impact is, if any.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I also walked away from a career in psychology and went in a different direction for the same reason as you. I hope you have found peace and something you enjoy doing everyday. 
Psychedelics have always proved beneficial for my lifelong battle with depression, but been progressing leaps and bounds lately. Little nuggets of golden insights that can even seem to come without pondering them. Macrodosing once bi-weekly and occasional patented macro-micro doses 
I was outside on a smoke break the other day and had this flash that I need to fully accept and sit with my emotions. I try to go with the flow and allow myself to be sad if I’m sad but still have been fighting these “difficult” emotions internally in an attempt to cushion myself from them, totally subconsciously until now. This was causing anxiety, shame and more depression. Thank god things are coming round as far as using psychedelics in mental health treatment
Yeh we’re finally making some progress after all those wasted decades thanks in no small part to Leary. It’s encouraging to see that’s for sure. They couldn’t even study the human endocannabinoid system because…cannabis baaaad 
Spot on. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love hippies but some were just too loud for their time about sharing the psychedelic gospel. Freaked out the squares while holding something more powerful than a nuclear bomb. And the endocannabinoid system, so complex and beneficial to human health 
I don’t think I’m depressed, but I definitely have a burned out feeling…and not from the grass…lol. been feeling overwhelmed with work, family etc…I’m growing very tired of responsibility and what feels like a never ending battle of bills and bickering with the oldest daughter (who’s now 19 and knows so much more about life than anyone else)…how does one find peace? Even time in my grow doesn’t feel like an escape.
When things get like that, for me I need a full on reset so I can get to the point where I am appreciative of every little thing that I have in my life that I find even the littlest amount of joy or solace in. I have to get to the point where I am happy for all the things that make life suck just a bit less. And go on from there. Maybe to get there you need extreme exercise, or meditation, or an in depth venting session, or a good macrodose of some fungi or L, maybe a camping trip to bumfuck. For each the ability to shut out all the noise of life and focus on what really matters deep in your soul comes with something different I suppose. Kids are tough at the best of times, and if you are like me and have one that is as hard headed and determined as I am it gets extremely challenging. Just know that you’ve got more folks on your side than you could ever imagine cause there are random strangers out there that give a fuck if you’ve got the time to express what you’re dealing with. It may not seem super important cause you’re just feeling, “burnt out” trust me, staying on top of your mental health is of the utmost importance. You’ve gotta put on your oxygen mask before you can help the child next to you, as they like to say on airplanes 
Hey everyone! Hope you’re all well. Here’s a couple tips and tricks I’v had great success with battling against my depression. I had pretty deep depression for roughly 10 to 12 years. Did alot of counseling which I think is super important. was on medication but just didn’t mix well for me. My personal winning combo that really pulled me out was as follows.
Exercise, as soon as I wake up. I lift weights but anything to get your blood flowing and get your heart rate up.
Cold Baths / Showers. This one for me is the key. Days I don’t have one in the morning I feel like crap. I won’t lie it sucks iv been doing them every day for over a year now and it dosent get easier. In my opinion that’s the reason they work so well. It shocks your nervous system but you have to breath through it, in turn rewiring your stress response. But also over time dropping your resting heart rate. Its better at waking you up then any cup of coffee iv ever had and has so many health benifets I can’t list them all. but luckily there’s tons of info on the subject. Whim Hoft is a neat guy to look up if you’re thinking about cold water exposure. For along time it felt like life was just happening to me, or I was kinda in the back seat if that makes any sense. Once I started having cold baths it felt like I was back in the captains chair. I feel amazing because of these.
Anyways I apologize if this comes off a little sales man like but I do truly believe if you suffer from depression or anxiety get in some cold ass water atleast once a day and you’ll see a positive change. hopfully this helps someone and or gets someone intrested. If anyone has any question I’ll try my best to point you in the right direction. Is there Anyone else who does cold water showers / baths?
I love cold showers, feels righteous!!
I made the mistake of trying to hop in my wife’s shower one time. Never again…
Lmfao!!! That is hilarious 
hope you’re doing good otug