This is my big problem area. Stomach health , well that and exercise lol…thank the Good Lord I’m not obese , but still, I’m far from a healthy 25 year old
A man is never as big as when he is on his knees to help a child
Kindness is stronger than fear,
You have power over yourself not outside events, realize this and you will find strength
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I think my depression stems from leaning on weed to get through my problems rather than leaning on God.
For a good 6 months I quit weed when I was younger. around 2016. I totally gave me life to Jesus and throughout those 6 months, I encountered God more than I ever had. I knew his presence , his voice, I was around his people at church. I also went up too North Carolina twice and got EVEN closer to the Lord.
I was there one of my best friends… A guy named Greg, one who I kid you not, is a river overflowing for Jesus when he Met his wife.
But weed came back in , and I got addicted again, quit going to church, slowly fell out Gregs life, I didnt go to the wedding… that hurts. I was there when he met her… Any interactions with Her, I was there. She is south african and me and Greg helped her have a blast in NC. we went on nightly Cookout runs for food XD, taught her how to throw a football properly. etc. like … I was there when my best friend met his wife… and my ass addicted to weed couldnt even go to the wedding.
I chickened out from trying to raise the money to go back to YWAM ( youth with a mission ) . I chickened out from trying too go to disciple training school at ywam. I could and should have went to YWAM down in Orlando with Greg…
Do you know why? God was giving me everything I ever wanted. In this period of life I quit weed and trusted God… I got to photograph a concert ( was hired for free ) , and Greg started a band… THATS WHAT I WANT TO DO. I gave up on that for weed and video games…
So while I love and adore this plant… Don’t let it get to a point where you miss out on life… because then your going to be depressed like me wondering where it all went wrong…
If I want true happiness , I think my best bet is to drop weed and trust God again… and try to get down to the Orlando Ywam …
7 years have passed since they met… And I was only in their life for 6 months…
I know Jesus forgives, but I wont forget the friendship I left behind when I picked weed back up and quit going to church.
Sorry thats kind of all over the place, hopefully its not too hard to read
Edit: lol I realize that first little bit is a bad sentence LOL. Its supposed to say somethin like : I was there when Greg met his wife,
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You gotta realize it’s how you handle the weed that can become a problem, and that it’s your choices that separated you from what you wanted. Don’t get caught up playing the blame game, brother!
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Friends forgive.
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Do you know the difference between religion and spirituality?
Have you ever done somebody a kindness and did it so they wouldn’t find out and you promised yourself not to tell anyone. Have you sent an anonymous card to someone telling them how much you love them and the person they are married to. Do you see somebody poor and sneak food into their pocket or look at them with love and compassion in your eyes. When you do that who benefits 
.
Jesus had no church but the sky above and he walked with love.
You are so funny that you don’t realize that you spilled out who you really are 
. You are loving kind and self sacrificing. The things you are feeling come from a place of love, you have done a personal inventory and now you can make an amends. You are saying my side of the street is dirty, hey I need a broom, keep it for it Will always need cleaning. WHO benefits .
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The difference between religion and spirituality would be like this, the Pharisees who look down upon people because they dont know the Word like they do, thats religion, a judgemental atrocity.
Spirituality is the Good Samaritan whom got Jesus the water from the well, she believed him and ran and told the whole city.
For your first paragraph, I have done some of these things you speak of , but not all of them !
I am funny sometimes 
, ah thank you very much though for your reply, we all gotta dust off ourselves with the broom and make amendments to the life we create. 
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For sure brother. I am young. Still plenty of time to make amends .
Hopefully in the future I’m an occasional smoker that maybe grows a plant or two sometimes
A purpose in life! Can’t stress that enough!!!
I’ve had good days and bad days, but since I started my new job (cannabis cultivation tech!) I can honestly say its boosted my bank account AND my mood. And surprisingly, its not THE job that does it, its the culture there, the people, my co-workers and I are always having fun doing the work that needs to be done. I leave work happy these days, not because I am leaving work, but BECAUSE I HAD A GOOD DAY! That distinction is SOO important to your long term happiness…
Something as simple as your job / being in the right place, helps IMMENSELY… I found my people now 
And I enjoy going to work (new record for me, one month in and I have been 15+ minutes early EVERY day… Thats what happens when you like your job! )
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That’s wonderful, you feel value and you picked your fate. Things are always changing and I look forward to it now. You have a good attitude, one with gratitude 
! @Nagel420
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Jordan Peterson is a freak and struggles himself with cleaning his own room. The guy attempted to use a medically induced coma to overcome his benzo addiction. I highly recommend anyone find alternative sources than this person. Plus his solutions boil down basic self-help which you can find anywhere and religious hierarchy re-enforcement which is no help for depression. Oh don’t forget to blame external social progress and wokeness for all your woes.
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You are right, might be a nice pair of shoes and we love them very much; wonder why I don’t want to cut off my toes to make them fit 
.
When I spit in your soup and you look me in the eye and eat it, who is disgusted me who spit in it or you who is still willing to eat it.
What makes the bowl? The form or emptiness?
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The bowl is your mind. The spit is your vitriole. The soup is the fabric of life.
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The soup is you and the spit, we hide the spit so that others won’t reject us. We know this and try to hide it from people. I want to present this perfect bowl of soup and this is not enough because it betrays parts of who we are and this begins the lie.
The bowl is a riddle that tricks you into thinking it can be answered when it has infinite answers and none at all. We can’t fully be connected because we reject ourselves and find peace when we can present ourselves warts and all.
That’s why these forums might be able to point people to helpful resources but not a source for professional help.
I should be, maybe the though of the pain ending is getting me off
Let’s see how it is in a month
After they remove half my index finger.
See I thought I could cheat my way out of a nail infection.
We have all seen the countless adds
The products sold at Walmart etc.
Home remedies
Iodine, Vicks vapor rub etc.
So for a month or so maybe more
10 days of this, 10 days of that
30 days of this etc.
I figured fuck it, if it don’t work i
She’ll out the sheets and see a Doctor.
Had I know this one Fact
I would have said fuck the bullshit
And spent the sheets at the get go.
So warn anyone who might not know this.
The fungus can spread to the bone
If it does its game over like me.
Poof half a finger will be gone.
I’m grateful because at least I have not got blood poisoning, or had it spread up my arm but damn
Rolling a joint will never be the same
And i guess I adapt.
Don’t fuck around like I did
Spend the sheets anyway you
Can on professionals.
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Ok so they put it off, seems we’re into 10s of thousands now lol.
It’s fine, if I have to finance it I will.
Last night I was ready to check myself out.
Days of Agony and no sleep
Narcotics
Hate them with a passion
Work for a few hours then
Nota
Make me nauseated
Anyway no sleep last night
Went to see surgeon today
Get ducks arranged etc.
Came home in Agony again, looked at the mfer
Got a pin, heated it and poke that infection
Nasty as Fook but it ran out and instantly oh sweet mystery life
I found you lolol
I ca n sleep now, no pressure no Agony
And my advil working like a champion.
I’m on 2 antibiotics and took a whole bag full yesterday so now we’re
Cooking with propane.
Doc said he thinks he can nip the end and leave most my finger
Yay.
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.
Has anyone used Ketamine infusion to battle SSRI resistant depression?
Apparently Ketamine works on 70% of patients who aren’t responding to SSRI and reduces secondary suicide attempts by 90%.
.
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I’m ok as long as I stay away from alcohol. That can take me to some dark places.
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I like shrooms to reset my mental. But 2 grams is the perfect amount. They help me to see things more positive. I took probably 5 grams at least a few weeks ago and it was definitely a good reset but too much. I left my body and went into the twilight zone for a few hours. Crazy hallelujah, I didn’t know shrooms could take you there.
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If anyone is going through a tough time feel free to Dm me. Its a harsh world out there and we need to be picking each other up.
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