It’s funny because it’s real. LOL
Always jarring when one learns something like this about someone that doesn’t fit the mental image we’ve created.
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There’s a disclaimer in there somewhere that says “Cornelius is not a faith healer just a single man who likes attention.” 
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yeah, i read that too. i even thought about to copy this and do it by myself here at edeka 
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Er kostet sehr teuer.
Ich ziehe meine Götter dem billig sind
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i just got cancer in my eyes, thank you 
What did you want to say?
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The first part I pulled from my course. The second part I google translated and was hoping to say “I prefer my gods to be less expensive.”
Still way too advanced for me.
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Okay, so number one is either “das kostet zu viel” or “das ist zu teuer” and number two would be “ich bevorzuge götter, die nicht ganz so teuer sind” or “ich bevorzuge götter, die günstiger sind”.
and now say it in front of the mirror, several times
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Coming from an Anglo German is a very weird language.
Really what I need is stuff like “guten abend. Ich heiße Auslander. Wie heißen sie, Freut mich sehr. Ist deine beruft interessant?”
Or
Kellner die schnitzel ist kalt und zie kartoffel ist zu Klein.
Ich spreche kein deutsch aber spreche English und french (whatever French is in German.)
I’m just starting to put together simple sentences so it would make sense I’m still terrible. It’s slow going.
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You might find this one useful.
Ich bitte um Entschuldigung, Sir. Ich wusste nicht, dass das deine Frau war.
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nah man, all’s good. i like that you try/ learn it.
french is “französisch” which can also mean “oral” lol
Ich kann gut französisch, nur mit der Sprache hapert es
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Somehow I don’t think this will get me out of trouble
Gimme a franzosisch, bitte
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Je m’excuse, monsieur. Je ne savais pas que c’était ta femme.
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Foreigners französische Technik ist perfekt… 
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I couldn’t say er ist zu teuer? He is too expensive. No good?
Übung macht den Meister
Three times a day everyday.
Zwei tomes heute (or drei)
I can still barely count to ten
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hast du sie etwa schon erleben dürfen? 
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Or at least a close facsimile. 
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er kann es sich nicht leisten
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in this case nobody would say it like this, because it’s the thing itself that is too expensive. you would say it like this if you compare two or more plumbers or something. i don’t know how to explain better… i need to think about it.
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i thought you give out for free to everyone who’s asking nice?
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