Just ordered dome Dulcolax.
3 Likes
Ya know dogs are pretty simple man i would buy it some sardines and mackerel the dog will love it and it actually is good for them for all the minerals and oils but it makes dogs shit bro I bet she feeds the poor fucker pedigree the dog will feel pampered with some fresh fish. Wonāt stop it barking full time mind but might shut it up while itās chowing on the fish or shitting allover her house? 
Also on the chocolate note Iāve given every dog Iāve ever owned odd bits of chocolate itās the cocoa thatās poisonous though so dark chocolate is a big no no but it only kills them when they eat a large amount of dark chocolate so giving it some special choc chip cookies wonāt kill it BUT depending on the size of the dog loads of chocolate would eventually kill it.
Have you tried the more civilised approach of screaming in her face about her little mutt that she decides to leave for hours and hours on end that keeps you awake all night? 
5 Likes
I can picture it eating and shitting all over at the same time
Something odd has happened itās like my prayers have been answered 
The wife had her daughters bf come before and watch the dog.(which doesnāt get on with anyone bar the wife)
I donāt know if my Mam has seen her or what also
the other day I saw a man in a hi vis coat outside my gate.
I just saw him again today outside the wifeās gate.
Iām starting to think that someone else has complained about the dog. Maybe he was measuring the noise levels.
Or maybe it was nothing to do with it and I am starting to lose my fkn mind
On another note Iāve ordered some laxatives but I donāt have the heart to give them to the dog.
Iāll take them myself and go and shit on her lawn
I was watching a video on youtube the other night,
This kid was thinking himsel hard by eating a Carolina reaper and trying not to drink milk.
He was about to take a drink, then his friend threw an empty pill blister at him. Heād spiked it with laxatives
It was the last of the milk too.
I was laughing my tits off.
Will have to try that one when my chillis have grew.
3 Likes
Do NOT interact with the dog. You have the moral authority at the moment. Time for a paper trail. @Jay has the right idea.
Youāve asked her nicely, youāve made offers to help to mitigate the barking by walking her dog.
Next step is to give her a āfinalā notice that the dog is interfering with your ability to live peaceably as a neighbor. If she is unable or unwilling to address to situation, despite your willingness to help on a number of occasions, you will have little option other than making a formal complaint.
Let her know this, if you are friendly with her, in person.
Then, mail the same with tracking + signature required.
This should clue her in. Wait for any response.
If no response, file a complaint with the appropriate authorities.
Start with the least adversarial authority.
If nothing happens, slowly ratchet it up, perhaps eventually bringing the courts into the process.
You have a recording, correct? Keep that handy along with the paper trail and a written log / contemporaneous notes of the dogs activity.
It is a bit of work but you will prevail if you approach this in a way that illustrates that youāve made attempts to settle the matter amicably. But, despite your best efforts, you have no other option but to bring this to a legal conclusion.
Understanding that your sanity is being tested, interacting or giving the dog anything can be used against you if discovered.
5 Likes
Call Deputy Keenan Wallace - Heāll shoot it for ya!
Or as others suggest, prolly aināt other way to go about it then filing a complaint with the appropriate authorities.
If she isnāt willing to change, what ever needed for you to be able to live in your own home.
Without having to listen to her barking dog, when ever she isnāt home.
Tell her to bring it with her, aināt that the sole reason for buying thouse rats? They fit in a handbag
1 Like
Another option, build something like these speakers.
Itās an art project - Im sure your city will approve it.
Itās Scandinavian - that alone should sell it to city hall.
4 Likes
Yeh bro gotta admit such is life sometimes and nothing can be done about it like either way you creeping around her home late of night posting miscellaneous items through her letterbox might make you chuckle and work temporarily it might land you in prison and I also wouldnāt have the heart to be able to give it laxatives itās not really the dogs fault itās just lonely while the owner leaves the poor bugger.
Itās kind of like where I live itās not the animals that are the problem itās the kids and thin walls. And I have a kid but I wouldnāt let her run around my home til stupid oāclock at night and Iām not a buzzkill as that sentence may suggest but they donāt seem to know what a bedtime is so when Iām sat jjst mellowing out at 1AM getting ready to go to sleep and theyāre still bouncing up and down the stairsā¦ I have anger issues though so I do try to just leave it be like Iām the unreasonable person when Iām not Iām just after the bloody quiet life which is where I imagine your issue is Ghandi cos I donāt mind their shit during the day when IMO itās understandable but then on the flipflop side of it who the fuck leaves their dog all god damn day woman.
3 Likes
My sympathies. My family had a dog stolen once. Turned out to be because it was fairly neglected-looking and my sisterās schoolmate stole it & sent it to another familyā¦this after the police did a bit of work(
). Decades later my dad said he shouldāve let them have the dog. 
Some 
's are impenetrable AF. 
2 Likes