I really appreciate that. I’m like tryna find myself lol I know I love weed, my family, nature, working with my hands. But I’m trying to suppress the tough guy and inner anger I’ve carried around for a long time. As a kid I wanted to be a tough dealer, then I started having seizures everyday at the end of high school, I had gotten brain surgery for a brain tumor on my 20th birthday I got another weed felony at 21 for a sale, had my kid 6 months later, and been tryna grow up, learn, and be a dad at the same time in this mess, I’m 25 now just been tryna catch up. Idk I’ve been all over the place these past 6 messy years.
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And that’s the thought process I need to have. It ain’t about who’s tougher. I totally agree but for some reason In the moment when I feel a dudes tryna act like I’m the weak one and he’s bullying me, I get that anger defense fight stuff. I need to realize that stuff is stupid even when I’m mad in the moment. I’ve never regretted biting my tongue or lettin someone go. But I usually regret whatever I do when I’m mad. But Idk why these thoughts aren’t there in the moment.
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sounds like me, and i guessed that actually. at 25 was when i changed, and i had a lot to make up for. never did anything terrible, but a lot of bad shit. some of the places i’ve been, damn. but that’s all behind me, and if i can do it anyone can. took me almost 30 years to realize the shit you typed at 25. maybe you’ll get there quicker and enjoy the time more. i hope so. kids are great. grandbabies are greater though.
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If I had called him an asshole it would have been a fight. Instead my being cool scared him and he ran away.
Don’t not get angry, just hold off for 20 seconds.
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Thanks a lot seriously! With how fast this kid has grown into a 4 year old that can beat me up, I’m sure grandkids aren’t far away lol
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Anger !! That’s a big issue for everyone now-a-days because of all the crazy, light minded, subjects that
we all are subject to - like imigration, less money, religion, and a general dis-respect of your fellow man Don’t know if there is a strain for that – check out “Angle Heart” breed by Mr. Nice (Seedfinders)
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Yea besides hiding the grow, dodging people for myself was a big reason I moved out in the empty rural area . And thanks for the suggestion
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I’m surrounded by people, see them all everyday, and fuck if I know any of their names 
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Lol when I lived In Florida, there was too many nosey neighbors wondering what that smell is
I have learned to avoid 99 percent of people , especially when out with my dogs . People today are just stupid and entitled .
Grew up watching the worlds worst temper , my father. He was 6’4” 290 and DID NOT PLAY . By the time I was 10 I saw him get in 100 fights , usually in public , after a stupid comment was made to him , or someone not liking his comment. Some were brutal , and by time I was 12 he had been arrested countless times on assault .
Sitting in the pancake place around 1968 , he went ballistic because a dude with a French accent said something to him . Called him a surrender monkey and proceeded with o throw him out the front of the store , through the window . He was gone a year for that one .
Spent first half of my life the same , look at me cross , it was on . No need to say anything , it was on . How I never got arrested is beyond me .
One day , in the middle of a rage , and it was rage , from nowhere , just in me , my wife video tapped it with an old vcr recorder . Made me watch it . I have never been so embarrassed . Didn’t believe it was me , but it was .
From that day on , I have only lost my temper. One or two times , and it took a lot to get me there . Once there I remembered the video , and it went away .
It no longer wells up in me like it use to . No longer want to punch or kick or beak something to make me calm down . It just went away , or rather became controllable after that video .
Tape yourself doing stupid , watch it , learn from it , helped me
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I don’t like losing my temper. It happens but I don’t like it. I feel I can control it because I played cards for so long but usually if someone starts yelling at me I let them go until they tire themselves out like a 5 year old.
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Very very relatable to the stuff you wrote. Maybe would be good to see a video of myself once I’m calm. Even just thinking about it a lot of times I’m like wtf was I thinking and feel embarrassed
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Diffuse and redirect 100%
Most prescribed drugs come with the suggestions of regular visits with a doctor, and alot of them are recommended in conjunction with a therapist, especially in the behavioral health area.
Anger is one of those weeds you want to pull out by the roots and control, so cannabis is in this sense a therapy that promotes introspection rather than simply negating or dulling the anger.
Not that saying “time out! Time out, I gotta burn one first” is effective in all scenarios
I hope stuff like this is realized, that not everyone wants to be towely from southpark all the time haha
Also, +1 on high cbd
Kind of gives a glowy effect that’s impossible to penetrate.
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Weak people get in fights and lose control. Getting into boxing or some practice of martial arts where you can spar sounds like something you need. I think boxing would be great for you and it’s the easiest/cheapest to find a gym and get going. Take the time to learn the basics and then start sparring a few times a week. Boxing and therapy. Best of luck!
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I’ve definitely thought about that, I should check it out. Last week I ran up and down this big hill until I couldn’t no more gettin some stress out, I can see boxing helping get some anger out.
Definitely. The cardio helps out. Run every morning and jump a ton of rope. Even just getting a heavy bag and some 18-20 oz bag gloves would help, but getting in there and sparring will really help. Plus, it’ll give you the confidence that you could beat the guy who’s talking shit to you’s ass, but since you already know that you have no need to prove it to yourself and you can just walk away.
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I’m telling you man, nothing pisses off somebody who’s mad at you like keeping your cool 
they expect you to react.
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Haha Yep, many times they’ll eventually realize they’re being an idiot and by the time they’re walking away they’re apologizing for being an asshole. I rarely blame the individual. The other thing with folks getting in fights these days, you’re going to end up shot. Way too many guns out there to be using your hands on people these days.
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I really do find that keeping your mouth shut and giving them the “I’m going to burn down your house move works really well.”
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I think people who for whatever reason don’t include therapy in their lives really do themselves a disservice. Talk to a therapist. Open up. You don’t have to agree with them, or do any of the things they suggest, but you can if you choose to. Anger is borne of fear. Are you afraid to talk to a therapist? Talk about that.
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