What’s up doggy dogs? Man, I painted my ass off all day today and I’m wore out.
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Well hell yeah! On work notes boss made a sideways comment so on lunch turned my resume to a few places and hit two job offers in under 6 hrs so I think I got a raise coming one way or the other!
So what were you painting today?
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You still working in that retirement development @Indicana_Jones?
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Damn right man. I love that shit. Tell him if he’s done fucking around he now owes you more money if he wants you to say.
I’m painting a bunch of offices and warehouse for a guy I know that runs his own plumbing business. It was supposed to be a pretty chill job. He was gonna get his guys to move all of the desks and shit out of our way. That never happened. Like motherfuckers been calling out sick as soon as they had to move something heavier than 10 lbs. 
@Mrgreenthumb nah bro I finished that sum bitch a few weeks ago. Those old ladies were like “I’ll give you a call if I get bored!” Please don’t. I’m gonna start pretending like I don’t speak any English when I get onto these jobs.
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Lol when the start coming back just call them blisters. When they ask why, tell them they only show up when the hard work is done lol.
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Hahaha. That’s funny as fuck. I’ve never heard that one before. I’m gonna tell my man he’s got a bunch of blisters on the payroll.
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I’m not even in the trades and I’ve heard that a ton 
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Lol. Bro. I probably never heard it cuz these motherfuckers were too bitch to say it to my face hahaha.
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Any Appalachian or southerner worth his salt has an entire encyclopedia set dedicated to insulting uselessness.
Lemme just jot that down in mine
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I had a hard time deciphering these extra country southerners when I moved here. I thought for years dudes were saying “useless as tits on a boy!”
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I’ve done my fair share of showing up after the work is done lmao
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I’m originally from southern Ohio. But my mamaw was from Hazel patch Kentucky, and had an absolutely savage backhanded comment. You walked away thinking you won for a split second till it settles in on you what she was saying.
My go-to is always “wasn’t burdened with an overabundance of schoolin’”
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That made me feel dumb to try and understand, and then I understood 
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Stole it from a TV show, “Firefly”. The character was obviously raised by mamaw, too.
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@AppalachianBiscuits lol my gma called it being diplomatic, she said you want tell them they’re completely stupid and have them thank you.
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“awww, bless your heart” cuts so deep
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Now that’s the truth! Soon as you hear that , it’s just like damn it what I screw up.
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Hahaha. Yo. The first time I heard that directed at me, I was talking to my wife’s grandmother. They introduced me to her as Mimi. I thought her name was Mimi so I called her Mimi for years. It was only a year or two before she passed that she told me “Awww, bless your heart. Sug, my name is Barbara.” Now I’ve been calling her grandma basically for 13 or so years and no one corrected me.
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Holy shit, that’s good. 
For what it’s worth, I’ve never known whether it was “tits on a boar” or “tits on a board”. I suppose either one is pretty useless.
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