Honestly, it doesn’t matter for me; physical activity is enough even without socialization. Just be careful; I “powered through” and ended up actually just repressing shit so deep. It goes away for the moment, but at some point in the future, something will rip it open. If you survive that? Probably gonna happen again.
I’ve learned it seems that staying busy is a great way to stay sane and deal. However it won’t fix it. If you’re unhappy about something need to address it. I wish I could’ve gotten help earlier, I could have a completely different life.
Socialising is definitely good for the mind. Introvert or extrovert. If you find yourself wanting to chill with friends more, then try to see if you could ask them to stop by at least every few days to say hi. If nothing else it should help you to feel like going out with them possibly
This is directed at no one and simply some of my own insights that come with age and experience.
There is no one more hard on you than yourself. We say terrible things to ourselves that we would never say to people we love and that we wouldn’t tolerate if it were said to us by others. We all have this small child inside that was traumatized in some way, and they are really loud at times as they echo all of our insecurities. They say terrible things to us… for example… “You aren’t lovable” “You deserve to be treated badly” “You’re a burden” “You’re worthless” etc… etc… etc… What we need to remember is that, they are just a child and we aren’t anymore. We are in charge now, the grown up, who knows better. At some point, we need to tell that child to sit down and be quiet. We need to become our own friend, not our enemy. Personally, I lived with an enemy for 40 years of my life, before I figured it out. Dang it! I want to live with a friend. We are all stuck with ourselves for an entire lifetime. Let’s spend that time with a friend, not an enemy.
It takes a lot of time to change habits, but personally, I stopped saying things to myself that I wouldn’t say to a friend. Everything takes practice. Forgive your self, replace the insecure child with the rational adult. You control your thoughts and your thoughts control you.
Well said @Meesh. When I lost my opportunity to be a father I was very bitter and it almost destroyed me. She had a beautiful baby girl last month. It makes me happy that she has that opportunity again. I know she will adore her forever.
I totally know what you mean. I’m a virtual shut in. Self imposed totally. The Covid quarantine was a blessing of sorts as I had an excuse to isolate! Meditation supported with herb did me some good.
By the end of 2020 I was left with debilitating agoraphobia; the idea of leaving the house for an extended period of time is exhausting. Occasionally I can get out to the store or what not, but I’m in such a state I can’t drive anymore so rarely will I go out alone. I don’t know if it’s the Social climate, or just me but holy shit it’s escalated.
Now I have the catch 22 of I need socialization to recover, but to do so is like standing in a hurricane. Finally starting to get some work back next week, hoping that helps but at the same time it terrifies be to think "what if I can’t handle it“. Accepting that would be… hard.
2020 was obviously rough on the whole world- but I wonder how much of the dichotomy of seemingly everyone isn’t just an American problem. Things seem heavily motivated by political bullshit, and I’m seeing more and more people blindly buy into "us vs them“ mentality. It certainly hasn’t helped my social anxiety! I already felt the world was hostile and angry, now it’s true.
Silent time and meditation are important. Center yourself and shut out the noise. Give yourself rest. Very true, friend.
I’ve suffered from depression for 37 years now and general anxiety disorder for at least 20 of them as well. Most of depression is spent forcing yourself to do things. Many simple to others but very overwhelming to you. Some days you will be better at it than others. That’s okay. Forgive yourself because tomorrow is a new day. Medication has pretty much saved my life, but it isn’t the cure all, it still creeps through at times.
One thing I’m absolutely certain of though, is that it may be uncomfortable, but it won’t kill you. Of course, you can handle it. You always have because here you are still standing. It may sound trite, but it’s not. Just keep faking it until you make it. Force what you can, forgive the things that you can’t that day. You aren’t alone.
I like to play ambient jungle sounds for the grow rooms. Hopefully helps them but definitely helps my anxiety more then anything to walk into a large grow room that has the feel of real outdoors. The Henry doorly zoo in Omaha is were I spent alot of time growing up and it reminds me of the rain forest they have. They let us camp in it and other areas like the spider house too when i was in cubscouts. We were literally just running around that place like it was ours. Peaceful times. But i highly recommend it.
Everything is always something compared to something else. Its the transition from chaos to bliss that were really looking for. We reflect that need into things in our lifes whether we realize it or not.
Microdosing shrooms has made a huge difference to the wife and I, haven’t experienced anxiety or depression for 2 weeks now, also started doing things to improve my health as well now, breathing techniques, like the Wim Hoff method and Soma breathing.
Agree 100%. I made some 0.2g caps, which is maybe on the high end of micro, but does the job. Feels a bit like drinking too much coffee ? Would go lower next time.
Do you follow any kind of schedule ? I kind of just randomly take a dose when the time feels right.
I am doing every third day, wife is using as and when she feels she needs it, which is pretty much every other day, but the dose she is using is very low at 0.05, I am using 0.15 mostly with the odd Friday or Saturday night on 0.5 going to try 0.75 this weekend, I want to get some visuals and meditate.
I’ve struggled big time with anxiety disorders. Staying away from weed for fear of losing my job actually ended up costing me my job. I’m beginning to realize that daily smoking is probably going to be part of my lifestyle.
I can to realize, I don’t have a hope of keeping a job without managing my anxiety, so I’d rather take the risk than risk losing another job due to my anxiety. Applied for disability, hoping that helps job security.
Work for a private company- if I ever have a problem at work, I know the owners. I can talk to them face to face and work out the issue. A corporation seems likely to just damage control the situation and cut you loose.
I can’t live without indica cannabis. I used to feel embarrassed, or like a loser for saying that but I now view it no differently than someone who has to take a medication to live. In fact, that’s exactly what it is. I’ve swayed many anti-canna opinions on the topic of it not being a bad thing and will continue to do so. I’ve tried all the pharmaceuticals and they made me extremely sick. Did the sleep studies, jumped through all of the hoops… I don’t want big pharmas solution. I want my own.
It sucks cause I couldn’t hold a job without it. Chronic insomnia is just too brutal of an illness, and dangerous in the work place to boot. But then the whole drug testing for work issue. Missed so many opportunities, had an offer for a good paying job that I had to pass on recently. I would’ve been working with an old friend (who knows what I do and could care less) but the owner knew that I knew him and I didn’t wanted a possible fail to somehow reflect on him. It fucking sucks cause he was telling me this one guy there (who drives heavy equipment and makes bank) smokes crack, but will quit a few days before the test and pass. Had to explain to my buddy that weed’s not crack, and isn’t toxic enough that your body wants to kick it out in 3 days or less.
Today as it’s pouring rain, I sat in my car waited to go into the house. I see a little field mouse trying to navigate the torrential downpour, fording a small river on the sidewalk before struggling through the grass seemingly going nowhere. I checked him out on my way (running, only stopping for a second) out of curiosity I guess. Had his head high, eyes closed, desperately trying to make sense of the chaos. I thought maybe I’d help him but I realized how little I could use offer (mfer probably has rabies anyways), but it did make that sore spot in my heart ache. I know what it’s like to be under the current. Lost. Impossible to see the end. If anyone needs to talk, as always, I’m here.
The other night I saw a puppy run under a truck that started to back up & drive away & it sure woke me up from my hotboxing the car moment… soooo glad it made it away unharmed to it’s owner nearby. Almost saw somethin that’d f*ck me up forever.
Last post was my birthday…WTF. (There was a thread, ‘Venting! Let-it-go’ but it’s in the Garbage Can now…)
So…
I spent almost 3 months waiting for a real estate deal to close, only to get screwed out of it by my realtor at the end. The delay was waiting for the seller to renew a business lic. out of state; As soon as that was good, my realtor didn’t answer calls/email for over a week, allowing the contract to expire. The seller immediately raised the price 50k$ & had another buyer lined up already, probably through my own agent.
The legal recourse available isn’t worth the time/$/hassle of pursuing it(probably at least 50k up-front in attorneys & a 2 year delay), so now after these few months, I’m basically priced-out of that area.
The other options on my radar are nowhere near as nice of properties, so needless to say, I’m f*ckin pissed off about it. I could have my own real-estate license by now. It’s BS & every other realtor says as much to me.
And my auto seedlings have been off to a rough start. I forgot there’s a learning curve to each new growing setup & light & fried a couple…killed a couple de-husking and those were the only 2 to pop from that pack. Damn.
& it sure woke me up from my hotboxing the car moment… 
soooo glad it made it away unharmed to it’s owner nearby. Almost saw somethin that’d f*ck me up forever.
Last post was my birthday…WTF.
Garbage Can now…)
I forgot there’s a learning curve to each new growing setup & light & fried a couple…killed a couple de-husking 
and those were the only 2 to pop from that pack. Damn.