Mines terrible š«¤ been having rapid fucking switches between mania and depression lately. Itās getting old to say the least
3 Likes
That sounds pretty familiar. I donāt know if my shit is mania. (I canāt distinguish) depression is a definite though.
1 Like
The universe is a bitch no doubt.
It doesnāt sound stupid to me at all. My kid and wife saved my life literally. Some days the only reason I can get up and perform is because I have to for them.
Go get some sleep, do whatever you need to do to get a boost in your brain. There is zero judgement from me on that front, a break is always nice. Iām an introvert so I recharge heavily by escaping into my phone(used to be books when I was a kid).
Check back in to here in a couple of hours if you would, just as a favor to me. That way I know that you have battled the demons to a standstill, at least for today.
I would be glad to be your battle buddy in this fight. I got your 6.
3 Likes
Iām glad you understand. And I am gonna try get a sleep and refresh the brain. Like you say even if it is just for today. Nice to hear you got your kid and wife in your life. Not too fussed about the ex but my so. Has been my reason for waking up for a good many years now. Phone is always good. I like to get lost in data sheets etc as a break. Kinda weird cos I have to think harder. But itās straight line thinking. Nothing to throw me off. I will check back in when I wake up brother 
2 Likes
Usually able to keep it half ass in check, but I let myself run out of weed between harvests again and put everything I made back into it. Receptor down regulation cold turkey off a 1/4oz+ a day is a bitch. Grabbing a 40g jar of d8 on payday to hold me over. Drizzled on a bunch of dry leaves and rolled up in doobies it aināt bad. Been exercising like crazy to get some endorphins, but I can only do so many pull-ups and push-ups
1 Like
I had a nap. Iām alive. Donāt feel much better though
2 Likes
Yee, youāre alive though 
thatās the important part.
What you making for food? You got any fast food near you that you havenāt had in awhile? Maybe something you need to get out of the house for?
Did you brush your teeth yet? 
1 Like
Can just message me too bro if you donāt want to post here
1 Like
Ermm. Iāll take your words for that for now.
As for food. I fully cba cooking and I donāt have the funds to go buy any fast food or id be all over an apna pizza or calzone RN bro. I didnāt brush my teeth but I rinsed them with chernigivsky 
I donāt mind posting here. Maybe it will help someone else some point in the future. So may aswell be public brother
2 Likes
Haha, I feel you! I actually just had a super lazy lunch, a can of chicken noodles and some ginger ale.
Is that some kind of alcohol? I stopped drinking awhile back except for the occasional nice craft beer(maybe 1 a month) because it would make me feel good ^ on that emotional Rollercoaster, but then if I stayed awake through the sobering up period, it means I will get way way down on the emotional roller coaster.
2 Likes
Noodles and ginger ale actually sounds pretty good bro.
And yeah it is Ukraineās no.1 beer. I never used to drink tbh but the past year or so. I kinda have a lot. I enjoy a craft beer too. iPA and stuff for the win. Iām on beer #9 of 10 and Iāll probably be back in bed before too long . If not I canāt see it ending too well
2 Likes
Yah man, it was good and it didnāt take me any energy lol, thatās my favorite part.
Check out this article about alcohol though, especially if you have been using alcohol for a bit, it might be exacerbating your symptoms. Just a thought, I know it helps with coping but itās a temporary relief for sure. I had to basically quit it out, for real, because I would be so down after drinking.
Effects Of Alcohol On Mental Health Australia | Alcohol Think Again.
1 Like
Haha I like the premise for which you decide to cook. Ease
Youāre probably right bro. It wonāt be helping but itās there and makes me forget for a lol while at least. I should probably stop too but kinda feel like i canāt if that makes any sense. I donāt sleep if Iām not high or drunk. And thatās when I think the most.
1 Like
I know what you mean for sure. Racing thoughts is what the therapists call that.
Feeling like you canāt stop thinking and every thought leads you down another rabbit hole and then by the time you look up from your phone or whatever, hours have slipped by. Thatās IF they donāt lead to me having a panic attack or getting angry and snapping at those I love because my brain is freaking the F out.
Iām on a t-break myself and itās been real difficult. Itās so easy to just pop down to the smoke shop and get alt cannabinoids like d8 too. However, I know that will just restart me feeling dependent on the ganja. I want to enjoy it, not reach for it as my first tool to help, because thereās also so many other tools.
Honestly, I canāt really help you with the racing thoughts cause Iām not you, if you get me? Like you need to find that thing in your life that will make you be in the moment and not thinking behind or ahead. I know that was for certain your doggo, and Iām sorry heās not there anymore. However, do you have like an animal shelter near you? I bet $$$$ they would either love to have someone foster a dog or two or cats or whatever until they find their forever home. My pets definitely make me be present in the moment.
I donāt chase happiness anymore, because I know thatās a temporary emotion, instead I just seek to be present, and not in my head. When I work with veterans non-profits or volunteering or whatever I always say"out of our homes and out of our heads."
I bet @Shadey has more techniques, and is a much better source of information that I can ever be haha
3 Likes
4 Likes
This is one of those times where looking at people who are more fucked up helps. 
Then the inevitable guilt for feeling shitty beforehand 
Seriously. You/we may have our issues but cāmon man, youāre still top shelf 
like a freaky elite clone. 
ā¦ like those kids who grow up around land mines & agent orange. Thatās rough. Or birth defects. Shit, youāre like fuckin Superman compared to most peopleā you can grow weed!
And youāre super dad to the kid so plan on about 15 years of various bs until heās an legal adult or whatever. My buddyās been going through that for about 15 with 2 to go. 
Best I can do & sorry if its unhelpful
2 Likes
I appreciate you brother. My day went from bad to worse. My lady had a seizure and banged her head so ended up in hospital.
Then 6am. Door bangs heavy. Police. Got nicked and taken to court for a breach of a community order (probation)
It looks like Iām in for a long battle
4 Likes
If youāre on a boat youāre under maritime law and they have no jurisdiction.
Sorry to hear it. Chin up man 
5 Likes
At the house in Manny when they came bro 
fuck it itās dealt with anyway
3 Likes
Well youāre not in chains apparently 
so thatās good.
Itās 6:18am HST, so a little past 4:20. Iāll check in later.
2 Likes