I truly believe that being vulnerable is a sign of strength and definitely not weakness. With grief it’s best to get it out, let yourself go through it anyway that helps you. Cry, vent on the internet, scream into a pillow or in the backyard whatever… We are here for you!
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I’m just going to eat mushrooms and talk with y’all silently through text. My neighbors might think I have gone crazy if I let it all out for actual public display. 
lmao
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Not sure what I expected when my younger self tried mushrooms, but I always felt like I was waiting for a train that never came. I guess I expected it to be hard core like lsd (yeah, tried that shit too). I remember it being pretty mellow with no hangover, never super psychedelic like I expected. Hmm… maybe I never ate enough of them. lol
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The trick is to fast for a few days, I’m on day 3 
I planned on eating just 5-7 grams, that’s enough to get sent off, but I got a little cap happy and ate closer to 9g. This will be a fun ride. The trick with shrooms is to eat more than you think you need or if it’s juice, it has to be strong.
Now for daily use nothing beats micro dosing, check it out, it’s a great medicine for depression/anxiety. @Meesh
I’m actually starting to trip kinda hard rn. Lol. Wish you were in my world.
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Wheeeeeee! Have a fun ride!!
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Have Fun!
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The absolute best for depression/anxiety and PTSD. Gram to gram 1/2 daily keeps the shrinks away! Good Medicine
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Amen my brother. Hard to beat Earth’s natural medicines. @oleskool830
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I too struggle with the loss & regret of the past, my first “own” dog, my boy, Timmy.
This is hard, but I do it for you, yall, and me, and him, and them.
This is from the day I had to say goodbye. He wouldn’t eat bacon. I knew I couldn’t make him suffer any more. My mom had come to stay with me for a week but had left the day before or maybe earlier that day. But my dad came up & helped me through it at the vet & my good friend came up later to help me dig a grave. 
The vet told my dad they’d never seen anyone take it so hard. Well too fuckin bad! 
I just had to kill my best riend & kid-of-sorts.
I live with a lot of regret. My PTSD spilled on to him in his last years & I was basically an abusive fuck. He had a lot of old dog problems too. Cancer from age 4 but he was 14. 2 tumor removals from the tip of his dick. 
probably couldn’t see too well. puke up & reate his meal for a year. spent a day+ with my other dog in the kennel when she passed & i was gone. barked uncontrollably when alone, and pitbulls don’t quit until they’re dead. my neighbors dogs are haunting me though so it;s all good. 
here they are in earlier happier & healthier days
I was so dog-boound by him & her(JD) that I took a year off before readopting but I sure AF wont do that again. Was miserable. Looked at petharbor.com 
every day literally. Until I got Betty. and I know she’s my crutch. My 7 years of nightmares every single time i slept stopped. like magic. 
We lost our feral cat shortly which has been a depressor for her & I but it’s a long story on my dad & cats is why we don’t have a new kittybutt. Kitty-Town showed up about a month after I put my dog down, also like magic. Probably the best cat I’ve had. 
i’m stoned, need dinner, & kinda surprised i got this far. 
there’s always more to say 
but i’m here with you
u guys/gals
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@cannabissequoia Damnit @cannabissequoia! Now you’ve got me balling like a damn baby! Much love
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Sorry man. Not my intention & I guess I don’t need to say more. 
I think my idea was to share how Dr J can learn from me & others that it’s going to be easier in the time to come but it won’t ever leave, just change.
As far as deciding when to make that last vet trip… I should’ve done it with him sooner but I was more amateur then & in pain. Luckily for me my vet wasn’t one of those psychos that wan’ts to put’em down all the time… But hopefully a good vet can help make the decision when we face it.
Those tears are just reflective of the love that doesn’t get “put down” & lives eternal.
now i’m teetering f#&$*er 
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My anxiety level is off the charts tonight, Smoking is not helping at all. Had to resort to big pharm and even that’s not working. I’ve done all my usual self-soothing routines to no relief. Think I just needed to say it out loud. Maybe it will lose it’s power. I’ve suffered from depression and generalized anxiety disorder for over 30 years and have been managing it for about 15 now. Every once in awhile though it gets away from me. Like today, for no particular reason.
Breathe Meesh, Breathe
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We all have bad days meesh. Some worse than others. Of every day was good you’d never appreciate anything. Is there anything underlying in your day that you may have overlooked that triggered it? Maybe it’s just sleep you need mate it’s a good cure for most things 
if the bud doesn’t work anyway
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Hang in there, everything is temporary…
I’ve had really good luck with CBD isolates for anxiety. They are totally legal and can be ordered online. I usually mix half a gram with an ounce of MCT oil. A little heat to get it to mix, then I take a dropper of that twice a day.
I also take fish oil and vitamin E. for mood stabilization. It works better than most of the OTC mood stabilizers I’ve tried. Dont forget your vitamin D. in the summer, we dont get as much sun. I’ve heard great things about 5 HTP, but I haven’t tried it yet myself.
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These dudes are right.
It happens here too.
Try some Lemon Balm from the grocery store supplement aisle… it’s like weak xanax, imo. Really works. (Thanks @gordongecko)
Put that BF to work again.
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Thanks everyone! Still no idea what triggered it last night, but I’m feeling much better this morning! I really should try some CBD and I am growing some lemon balm right now @cannabissequoia… What do I do with it? Make tea or something?
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I hope you feel better buddy! @Meesh,I also have been suffering lately,you are not alone! hang in there, don’t hesitate to PM me if you need to vent or chat, blow off steam (?) peace and love!
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You could just eat it raw i suppose 
but the capsules in the store are powdered leaf mat’l(i think). The one I have is 1100mg ea. On a whim I chewed on some rosemary leaves (after reading that rosmarinic acid was a component, & that it worked on GABA in the brain), and it did have a subtle relaxing effect. Tasted funky but that probably means it’s good, right? 
To hell with kale.
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